Moises Caicedo should have joined Liverpool because Chelsea lost to Oxford in 1985

Editor F365
John Aldridge has seen red over Moises Caicedo.
John Aldridge has seen red over Moises Caicedo.

Mediawatch spent some time wondering whether we really could dedicate the whole column to Moises Caicedo toys being thrown out of the Liverpool pram by John Aldridge, but when we say ‘some time’, we mean four or five seconds because a) we’re incredibly petty and b) this shit really is gold.

You may have seen quotes from his salt beefy Liverpool Echo column across the internet (including this site) but it’s important to note that this actually began with a column in the Irish Sunday World, when he declared that a grown man choosing not to join Liverpool made him ‘sick’…less than 48 hours before he was declaring ‘good riddance’ to the Ecuadorean who never actually arrived.

So let’s start with the Sunday World and some entirely baseless accusations that Chelsea ‘engaged in the dark arts in their efforts to sign Brighton midfielder Caicedo’. Did they? Or did the player choose to join the club that had been most consistent in their pursuit? Is it a little from a) and a little from b) or simply a massive dose of b) that Aldridge cannot fathom because he is Mr Liverpool and this always, always means more?

I find it hard to believe Liverpool offered to pay a British record fee for Caicedo without checking if he fancied the move to Merseyside and for me, I can only think that Chelsea are offering him or his agent more money on Friday morning.

Actually, John, it seems that what you found so hard to believe is exactly what happened. As the Daily Telegraph report: ‘The size of their sudden bid, £111 million, was staggering. As was the fact that they made the offer without any indication from Caicedo that he would be willing to join them. In the modern footballing world, such a move is extremely unusual.’

That same report says that ‘Caicedo had given Chelsea his word’ so what made a 64-year-old man ‘sick’ was actually just a young footballer showing loyalty. It really does seem like it’s Liverpool who cocked this and not Chelsea or Caicedo, but that’s not something Mr Liverpool is likely to admit.

For now, it feels like Boehly and Chelsea are more interested in undermining Liverpool than getting their own house in order and as a Liverpool man, the whole thing has made me sick.

Because the whole world revolves around Liverpool.

So to recap, Chelsea have pursued Caicedo all summer because they were desperate for a defensive midfielder, and agreed terms with the player himself, then Liverpool made a bigger offer without checking whether the player himself was interested, and then Chelsea finally paid what Brighton were asking. And you think this was about ‘undermining’ Liverpool? Those spectacles aren’t just red-tinted, they are pure scarlet and entirely opaque.

Liverpool should walk away from the Caicedo deal as we don’t want to see people given the honour of pulling on the red shirt when they don’t want to be there.

There really was no need; there was no ‘Caicedo deal’ without the player himself. But wait for it because this is brilliant…

Let him live in London with his fancy car and his big house if that’s what he wants.

Because obviously that would be the only reason to join Chelsea (who have secured six major trophies in the last decade compared to Liverpool’s four). London with their fancy cars. An old man is shouting at the blue clouds now.

Liverpool don’t need players who put money before joining one of the best club’s in world football.

Let’s ignore the apostrophe because we don’t think that’s Aldo’s fault. We have no idea what Caicedo is being paid by Chelsea – it certainly will not be a pittance – but rather more importantly, he was a childhood Chelsea fan who idolised N’Golo Kante.

As astonishing as it might seem to Aldridge, not everybody thinks Liverpool are a bigger club than Chelsea. And certainly not everybody who is 21.

Which brings us to Aldridge’s next point…

If they were willing to spend £110million on one player, why didn’t they try harder to get Jude Bellingham this summer.

Maybe the player had already decided to join Real Madrid, but it seemed that finance was the primary reason why that deal deal through.

It’s one thing believing that your beloved Liverpool trump Chelsea, but Real Madrid with their 14 European titles? You think Bellingham chose them over Europa League-bound Liverpool because of ‘finance’? Wow. There’s being partisan and then there’s being completely potty.

Also, should Liverpool have got involved in the bidding for Rice.

He went for this kind of fee they were willing to pay for Caicedo when he moved from West Ham to Arsenal and is a better player, in my view.

We think he wanted to play in the Champions League, fella. If he wanted Europa League football, he could have just stayed at West Ham.

I’d still be playing for Liverpool now if I could as they are my club, I want them to succeed and the only reason I left was because I was forced out when I made a move to Real Sociedad.

And Chelsea are Caicedo’s club; maybe these two footballers – 43 years apart – have more in common than Aldridge would like to admit.

But it’s okay because by Monday, it was ‘good riddance’ to Caicedo in the Echo. He must be gutted.

As soon as the player made clear he wanted to go to Chelsea over Liverpool, I didn’t want him at all. We are far bigger than Chelsea will ever be. Missing out on this transfer has not hurt me like when Torres left us to go there, that was awful and hard to stomach. Going to Chelsea? When I was at Oxford United, we beat them three times in the space of four months. They have bought their way to where they are.

So, so much to unpick here.

‘Far bigger’? Historically, perhaps. And in terms of a domestic fanbase then yes. But have Liverpool been bigger than Chelsea in Caicedo’s lifetime? Have they balls.

But silly Mediawatch because Caicedo should have done his homework and realised that Chelsea lost three times to Oxford United 16 years before he was even born. We bet he feels daft now. Though if he had done his homework, he would probably have dismissed one of those wins as the second leg of a Full Members Cup tie already won by Chelsea, who finished that season in sixth as Oxford were 18th.

In terms of the reasons behind Caicedo choosing Chelsea over Liverpool, they are a London club and some players see that as a big pull. With the Louis Vuitton shop on Oxford Street and the London way of life, they view that as a huge attraction.

Oh this is priceless. Not just the fancy cars now, but the Louis Vuitton shop. Has Aldridge never heard of the internet? And clearly he doesn’t know that there are Louis Vuitton shops in Manchester and Leeds too. It’s not 1986 anymore, fella.

Chelsea haven’t got the same selling point of Liverpool Football Club: history. We are a massive club in world football and that will always be there.

You know who else are a ‘massive club in world football’? We will give you a clue; it begins with ‘C’. Some estimates give Chelsea a marginally bigger global fanbase than Liverpool. Though both are dwarfed by Real Madrid.

Speaking of which, have we got time to return to Bellingham? Of course we have…

Whether or not this money was there for Jude Bellingham, we don’t know. With Bellingham, he must have just wanted to go to Real Madrid. If Liverpool was his primary choice, it would have been done. It’s there in black and white now. He must have been seeking the sun in Spain and playing for a massive club in La Liga. Good luck to him.

‘HE MUST HAVE BEEN SEEKING THE SUN IN SPAIN.’

It’s Real sodding Madrid. We would say this has descended into parody now but we think that ship sailed some time on Sunday.