16 Conclusions on Tuchel’s first England squad: Henderson, Rashford in, Forest, LGBTQ+ ignored
Thomas Tuchel has announced his first England squad and it has certainly got people talking. We have 16 Conclusions on the absurdity of it all.
The good thing is we can be furious at England squads again instead of just checking how many full-backs there are. Nature is healing.
The third-best team in the Premier League has been ignored, but so has the reason Jordan Henderson’s international career was apparently over. There is a helluva lot to go at.
1) Jordan Henderson’s inclusion caught us by surprise, let’s put it that way. The mainstream media’s reaction – or relative lack thereof – is quite baffling to boot.
For now, let’s focus on football and nothing more. Henderson represents a genuine giant in Ajax; he even plays for them sometimes. In their last eight matches, he has been on the pitch for a grand total of 158 minutes – or 21.94% of the time. That’s barely enough for someone playing for Manchester City, let alone a club outside the top five European leagues, with all due respect.
Tuchel has tried to blag that Henderson “has played a lot of matches” when the evidence proves he has in fact not played a lot of matches. The coach said plenty more about the Ajax midfielder and we will get on to that in due course.
The England pool has plenty of superior midfield options and while we are not pushing Tuchel to only include players from Our League, Henderson is not playing at a high enough level and someone who is apparently deserving of a place in the squad should stand out from the rest at said level, which he is absolutely not doing. Not only is he past his best, but he recently served a suspension for telling a ref to f**k off and wanted to do the same to a Dutch journalist who questioned his loyalty to Ajax after refusing to captain them in the Europa League to force a transfer to AS Monaco.
It doesn’t seem like the sort of experience England should build around.
2) Nottingham Forest are third in the Premier League and on the brink of a sensational Champions League berth. They have three English players who start every week. One could play for Scotland and should be nailed down ASAP, another used to play for Tuchel at Chelsea and the other seemed to have established himself after making two of Lee Carsley’s squads last year.
None are in the squad for the World Cup qualifiers at home to Latvia and Albania this month, much to our bemusement.
Callum Hudson-Odoi is the most understandable omission but three goals in his last five Premier League appearances, including a winner against reigning champions Manchester City feels pretty significant. Sure, we can get over it. Some think he is more deserving than Marcus Rashford and we are not overly convinced.
Morgan Gibbs-White has 11 goal involvements in 24 league games this season, ten of which have come in his last 14 appearances. There is an argument for him being the most in-form English player in the world, all while captaining the third-best team in the country. He was deemed a certainty and after being called up by Carsley twice, we thought he was established as a Three Lions regular. Apparently he must do more. Poor fella.
And poor Elliot Anderson. You can always play for Scotland instead if you fancy it, fella. We will, as a wise Joe Willock once said, open you with welcome arms. (Yes, a Scot is doing 16 Conclusions on an England squad named by a German).
Getting Anderson – one of the Premier League’s signings of the season – tied down to England felt necessary but Tuchel and the Football Association are clearly not that bothered. They should be. Did we mention he is one of three English players starring for the team currently third in the Premier League?
3) Kyle Walker’s inclusion is certainly questionable. He made the correct and difficult choice to leave Manchester City in January, joining AC Milan on loan, though the transfer should become permanent in the summer. He has only started four Serie A games and has done pretty well, particularly against Empoli. Tuchel was also in the stands for the Milan derby against Inter, when he also presumably took in the performance of squad absentee Fikayo Tomori.
Being brave and going to Italy to keep himself in contention and ultimately become a 100 capsman has earned Walker a spot in Tuchel’s maiden England squad. Aaron Wan-Bissaka has been brilliant for West Ham and following Kieran Trippier’s retirement, Walker’s awful form last year and Trent Alexander-Arnold’s injury, we were certain it would finally be his time. If it’s not happening now, it never will.
You have to wonder if something has happened between Wan-Bissaka and the FA at this stage. Has he told them to f**k off? Possibly. Is this pure speculation on our part? Absolutely. Remember when he changed one of his social media bios to include a DR Congo flag? The boy has done a low-key Benjamin White.
Tottenham’s Djed Spence is another who should feel hard done by, especially after showing so much versatility in an injury-ravaged Spurs defence.
4) Tuchel has seen enough from the stands and his lounge to decide Rashford deserves a recall and it is hard to disagree from a similar vantage point. His form on loan at Aston Villa has made Ruben Amorim look a bit foolish having ostracised the Manchester United academy graduate and an England appearance this month will put more egg on his face, yet he won’t care or feel any regret.
It was a classic move. Amorim came in and fancied a bit of the authoritarian stuff that worked so well for Erik ten Hag with Cristiano Ronaldo and Jadon Sancho, letting every player know I’m The Boss.
It has benefitted Rashford’s career instantly. He is revitalised at Villa, playing Champions League football, creating goals, being an overall nuisance to defenders and most importantly playing with a smile on his face.
“I had the strong feeling that we should nominate him, bring him in and to push him to stay on that level to not fall back on old routines. This camp is to push him to stay on this level,” were the interesting comments Tuchel made about Rashford in Friday’s press conference.
An England snub might have sent him off the rails again, basically.
5) All The Midfielders are more deserving of a place than former Liverpool captain Henderson but we feel particularly sympathetic for Gibbs-White, Anderson, Conor Gallagher, Lewis Cook and Adam Wharton.
We ragged on him at Euro 2024 but Gallagher’s omission feels very odd. Eredivisie > La Liga confirmed? With Wharton, they are presumably managing his recent injury, though he is in Carsley’s U21 squad.
Cook is a great player to get all high and mighty about. Bournemouth, like Forest, are exceeding expectations and he has been their most consistent player, even playing at a superb level at right-back. The upper mid-table pack will often get overlooked and the fact it has happened to get Henderson in makes it so much worse.
6) Dan Burn’s inclusion is nice, isn’t it? He has never represented England, whether that be at Under-16, 21 or senior level but could become the oldest Three Lions debutant since a 33-year-old Kevin Davies in 2010 if he plays against Albania or Latvia.
Burn is there because he has been one of Newcastle’s best and most consistent players in 2024/25, mainly playing as a centre-back in a four-man defence having become a fan favourite at left-back. He could be an option for Tuchel at left wing-back if the formation that won Chelsea the Champions League in 2021 is his preference. In all honesty, it is all about waiting and seeing in that regard.
There is one question we have been asking ourselves: why now? In an otherwise very decent season, Burn is going through a difficult run of form, is 32 years old and clearly not someone who will be a regular starter under Tuchel when everyone is fit, let alone when next year’s World Cup rolls around. The German is a win-now kind of manager, which leans towards favouring experience and current ability over youth and potential, yet Burn is not better than Jarrad Branthwaite (in the Under-21s squad). He is older, that much is for sure – an entire decade older, in fact.
We are not completely taken aback by Tuchel’s goal to mix experience and youth but when the so-called experience has absolutely none at international level, you have to ask questions. Sure, we love the story, it just doesn’t make much sense and we can’t see anything other than Burn being a one-cap wonder while taking the place of someone more deserving like Branthwaite.
7) The elephant in the room is Henderson. We don’t like metaphorical elephants and this one is slapping an alienated LGBTQ+ community in the face.
“What he brings to every team is leadership, character, personality, energy. He makes sure that everyone lives by standards and with this characteristic he embodies everything that we try to build. We try to build a team for our fans and a team that they are proud of and can identity with. Jordan embodies everything that we want from this team.”
Righto. If he “embodies everything that we want from this team” then we are extremely concerned. Are we just supposed to forget he sold his soul for Saudi Arabian riches? That he completely betrayed the LGBTQ+ community in doing so? The laughable interview with The Athletic trying to justify his decision? The fact his last few England appearances were marked by the fans booing him and him treating them like idiots?
A portion of England supporters now feel unwelcome at Wembley. Well done, Tommy T.
8) The positions where each player sits in the squad list is always a point of intrigue and for those who give a toss, Jude Bellingham, Cole Palmer and Morgan Rogers are all down as midfield players.
There will be no false nines and being listed as midfielders indicates that these three will fight it out to play behind the striker. Maybe it hints towards England playing a 4-2-3-1 under Tuchel? Maybe it hints towards a 3-4-2-1 but with the two as No. 10s? Or maybe, just maybe, it means absolutely sod all.
9) Sticking with that theme, there are only two natural strikers in this squad. Harry Kane will unsurprisingly be heavily relied on to stick the ball in the f**king goal hole. On a side note, a journalist at Tuchel’s press conference on Friday used their question to ask if Kane will remain as captain. Outstanding stuff.
Ollie Watkins must be injured after limping off against Club Brugge on Wednesday, with Spurs’ Dominic Solanke the only other out-and-out striker in Tuchel’s squad. When you have Kane, you only need one more option really.
10) There has always been a big-club bias in the national pool, whether you want to admit it or not. Liverpool’s Curtis Jones and Jarell Quansah have undoubtedly benefitted from playing for the best team in the country. A good few of us probably forgot Quansah existed until he came on for the injured Alexander-Arnold against Paris Saint-Germain on Tuesday.
Jones is one of the survivors from Carsley’s interim spell and he has played well this season, perhaps not so well that he deserves to play for his country over Gibbs-White, Hudson-Odoi and a few others, but still.
We can get over Jones being in the squad and think he can be a very useful player. Quansah, on the other hand, is a lucky boy. It’s not like he is an ex-regular barely getting a kick at club level, nor is he the next big thing. Again, we go back to Branthwaite’s whereabouts.
11) A deserving call-up is the one Myles Lewis-Skelly received. He might actually start both games this month due to the lack of options on the left side of defence, which is not something the Arsenal teenager is used to at club level.
12) There is one Championship player in the squad: James Trafford. The Burnley goalkeeper has a ridiculous 25 clean sheets in 36 league appearances, benefitting from Scott Parker’s sliding doors moment when he lost 9-0 in his final match as Bournemouth manager.
Championship players are never in the conversation but goalkeepers are a different breed, so whatever, we guess. He is one of four vying for the place in between the sticks, yet we all know Jordan Pickford is going to play 180 minutes. It is all about being in and around the place for young Trafford, who is clearly viewed as a future No. 1 for his country.
13) In amongst the chaos, we are wondering where Danny Welbeck’s call-up is. Tuchel has emphasised a desire to mix youth and experience, deeming it crucial in England’s pursuit of a first World Cup since 1966.
With a lack of strikers in the squad and Tuchel’s experienced heads consisting of an uncapped Burn and unhinged Henderson, we must make a case for Welbz. He has arguably been the best English striker in the Premier League this season and not only that, he is a brilliant professional and someone with 42 caps for his country. Ah well, bring on the June matches against Andorra and Senegal (said absolutely nobody).
14) Having been left out due to recently coming back from an injury, not because he doesn’t want to play for his country, it will be interesting to see if White makes the next England squad. It really depends on his game time for Arsenal. Jurrien Timber is playing very well but could move to left-back, allowing for White’s return to Mikel Arteta’s starting XI.
Either way, his availability is a big boost and further evidence that Gareth Southgate and his coaching team, namely Steve Holland, were the problem. Benny Blanco will be back.
15) The incredibly controversial decision to keep Kane as his captain proves Tuchel will be leaning on him to guide this generation of England players to a major international trophy. We will be watching closely to see how much reliance there will be. The pair worked together at Bayern Munich and that is the most recent managerial version of the ex-Chelsea and PSG boss.
Kane scored 44 goals and made 12 assists in 45 matches under Tuchel. It bodes well.
16) Let’s spare a thought for Carsley’s boys. We thought Angel Gomes was the future. There is also no place for Taylor Harwood-Bellis but U21 manager Carsley is happy to have him for the upcoming break.
