Harry Kane teaches England pair a lesson and silences critics in comical Ireland collapse
Errrrm yeah, Ollie Watkins can’t do that.
To be fair to the guys in the Mailbox and elsewhere questioning Harry Kane’s place in the team, calling him – among other things – an ‘egotistical lummox’, Harry Kane’s not done that for a long time either.
But having watched An England Team With Legs from the bench against Greece on Thursday, with Anthony Gordon to his left, Noni Madueke to his right and Jude Bellingham running every which way around him, the England captain was granted the opportunity to be his Best Self, not an Erling Haaland but a Harry Kane, and marked the occasion with (and we genuinely don’t think we’re over-egging this) one of the best passes an England footballer has ever played at Wembley.
He had been at the heart of the only noteworthy moment in the first half, throwing Jayson Molumby to the floor just before the break in a ‘fight’ as disappointing as the football in the opening period.
Ireland sat deep while England passed the ball slowly and aimlessly in front of them, with Thomas Tuchel at that stage hailing his wise decision not to tack on an extra two months on to the start of his 18-month contract as the prospect of England being held to a 0-0 draw by the 63rd-best team in world football at Wembley looked alarmingly real.
We didn’t want that for Lee Carsley, whose legacy should be the blooding of young Three Lions talent rather than failure to beat Greece to top spot in the Nations League. He’s handed eight players debuts in his six games as England manager and Tuchel should reap the rewards of that.
Thanks to a quite extraordinary Ireland collapse in the second half, the football phone-ins and comments sections will heavily feature Proud Englishmen once again questioning why the FA have gone for a GERMAN with a perfectly suitable candidate already in place.
We’re not quite so sure smashing five goals in against the ten men of a significantly inferior footballing nation is a suitable determiner of Carsley’s capability to lead the Three Lions to World Cup glory. As sage co-commentator Lee Dixon pointed out, “the sending off really hurt Ireland”. But England did play some very good and extraordinarily effective football in the second half here, for which Carsley of course deserves credit.
Jarrod Bowen was his “inspired substitution”, scoring with his first touch off the bench from a training ground set-piece move. Anthony Gordon had already volleyed home beautifully from a deflected cross and both Conor Gallagher and substitute Taylor Harwood-Bellis also got off the mark for England.
But much of England’s excellence came courtesy of Kane, without whom none of the second-half madness – with its five goals in 26 minutes – would have ensued.
In the absence of Phil Foden and Cole Palmer, Kane was allowed to do his I’m Also The Best Playmaker bit and despite their obvious brilliance, we’re not sure either Palmer or Foden would have attempted the wonderful drilled eye-of-the-needle pass from the wing to slice through Ireland and break the game open, let alone delivered so perfectly.
Jude Bellingham took a neat touch in the box to win the penalty that Kane converted and ensured Ireland would play the rest of the game with ten men after Liam Scales was shown a second yellow.
It was a world-class moment from Kane, who hasn’t put in a 45 minutes like that for England for a very long time, mainly because the players behind him in the team haven’t allowed it, with various No.10s clogging up the space from which he’s arguably still the most effective of anyone.
It wouldn’t have worked without Bellingham, who took up the role of centre-forward when Kane dropped deep, but also floated around in those similar areas to make killer passes, as he did for Harwood-Bellis’ header.
The second half was the fluid, free-flowing display Carsley hoped for v Greece when he played all the No.10s, with Kane and Bellingham far more successful in dovetailing and swapping positions here than Foden, Palmer and Bellingham were at Wembley in October.
It certainly provides pause for thought for Tuchel, who rather than stripping Kane of the captaincy will now be considering whether the best way forward for England involves him at the heart of the attack, rather on the periphery as he was at Euro 2024, with pace on the wings, Bellingham around him and the wonderfully talented 10s the casualties for the greater good.
Kane wasn’t at all happy with the England drop-outs and having caused a stir with his words, the England captain’s actions have spoken far louder, with this a performance to teach Palmer and Foden a lesson in what can happen when you don’t turn up for your country.