Todd Boehly’s shoulder devil calls for more Jose Mourinho at Chelsea

Will Ford

He couldn’t, could he? No, surely not. Although, maybe it would work? It would certainly be fun, or do we mean funny?

Jose Mourinho is the fifth favourite to be the next Chelsea boss at time of writing and it would be quite the statement from Todd Boehly to replace Graham Potter with his antithesis.

The devil on the Chelsea owner’s shoulder is calling for The Not-So-Special-Anymore One, while his angel angles for anyone but him…

The Devil: Well that didn’t work, did it? Probably shouldn’t have got rid of the Champions League-winning manager and replaced him with the nerd whose greatest achievement was getting you to pay £62m for his left-back, but at least he’s gone now too. Nice work swinging the axe twice already by the way, that’s even better than the last guy.

The Angel: OK, things didn’t work out for Graham and the time you chose to appoint him was a bit odd, but the strategy was sound. We still want a long-term appointment who can grow with all the young players you’ve bought.

The Devil: Let’s forget about this legacy nonsense, shall we? This is Chelsea Football Club. We hire volatile managers, they win us stuff and then we f*** them off. We tried something different and it didn’t work. Time to go back to the tried and tested, and let me tell you, no-one has been more tried and tested than Jose Mario dos Santos Mourinho Felix. 

The Angel: Don’t even think about it.

The Devil: He won two Premier League titles in his first spell, another one in his second, along with three League Cups and an FA Cup. He’s our most successful manager ever.

The Angel: That last Premier League win was eight years ago, which was also the last time he won any league title. He’s past it.

The Devil: He’s won three trophies since then.

The Angel: The Europa League, the League Cup and the Europa Conference League. Hardly trophies we’re striving for, and that’s not a great haul in eight years anyway.

The Devil: He was at Tottenham for 18 months.

The Angel: Fair point.

The Devil: Look at the players he’s now got to work with. He’s not had these same resources at Tottenham or Roma, and he won’t complain about not getting a centre-back like he did at Manchester United because we can just buy him one.

The Angel: Come on, we’ve already spent £600m. We need a manager who’s going to work with and improve the talented young players that, for better or worse, we’re stuck with.

The Devil: What did Mourinho do in his first spell? He took a mismatched group of players and disrupted the well-established Premier League order in no time at all through an us-against-them mentality like nothing we had seen before.

The Angel: Firstly, that was nearly two decades ago and he’s now far more renowned for alienating players than bringing them together. Secondly, it always ends the same way with Mourinho. He won’t be here for more than two seasons – a quarter of some players’ contracts but let’s not get into that – and will have left a trail of destruction behind him. He will probably win something, but at what cost?

READ MORE: Ranking Todd Boehly mistakes at Chelsea from All-Stars to Tuchel via Potter and Mudryk

The Devil: We’ve always done this. We’ll just get another great manager to come in, pick up the pieces, win something and leave. And it won’t be dull. You must be intrigued. He’s box office, unlike the guy you just sacked who probably worked in one while Mourinho was winning Champions League titles.

The Angel: Julian Nagelsmann seems like a far better bet.

The Devil: He rides a f***ing skateboard to work. We’ve tried one hipster already. ‘Ooo look at me I like pressing from the front, quinoa and hackying sacks’. We need an iron fist and a low block. It’s got to be Mourinho.

The Angel: Please, anyone but Mourinho.