Top ten weird moments of the Premier League season so far
Two games in and this season already feels like it’s got something about it. It will be special, we know it. West Ham are on for 114 points.
Michail Antonio celebrating with a cardboard cutout of himself
Especially as he appears to have brought it along himself for the occasion. He planned it. Fair play. It’s like that bit in The Office Christmas Special where the punters at the club have brought pre-soiled undies to lob at David Brent. You have to admire that level of forethought and commitment to a bit, no matter how perplexing.
Arsenal goalkeeper Bernd Leno wearing the outfield away kit
Just… why? There are undoubtedly far greater things to get worked up about with Arsenal right now, but this has confused and infuriated us.
Tottenham’s away kit
We adore it, but there’s no point pretending it is anything other than completely insane. That’s why we love it really. And its absurdity is even more profound when given its Premier League debut against the understated, dignified elegance of Wolves’ old gold. And who knows, that specific Harry Kane No. 10 shirt could become a real collector’s item for more than just the dazzling magnificence of the clothing itself.
Paul Pogba exceeding his total 2020/21 assist tally in the first game
That’s pretty mad, really, isn’t it? Pogba went full Harry Kane with his four assists against Leeds having managed just three in the entirety of the previous season. Even Pogba’s biggest fans can’t have expected that, although Graeme Souness still not being impressed was far more predictable.
West Ham being the best team in the country
Feels all kinds of wrong, but you can’t argue with numbers. The Hammers are currently trending towards a 114-point season with 152 goals scored. There is quite literally no reason why they should fall short of this, and you have to say it would make them pretty tough to beat.
Manchester City’s ongoing inability to find their arsehole with both hands at WHL2.0
Manchester City have been the best team in the country for the last four years apart from that bit when it was Liverpool. Spurs have not been in any way the best team in the country for the last four years. And yet City have now made four trips to Spurs’ new stadium and lost every single one of them without even scoring a goal. Not even a concerted summer campaign to unsettle Spurs’ best player ahead of this season’s opening game could turn things round, City foolishly targeting Harry Kane when everyone knows it’s Heung-min Son who routinely pulls City’s fancy pants down in this fixture.
Arsenal being in round two of the Carabao
Arsenal’s last season without European football was 1995/96. Teams in Europe have received a bye to the third round of the League Cup since 1996/97. Arsenal in round two of the Carabao is therefore not something that has happened for quite some time. Well they’ve never been in round two of the Carabao because it wasn’t called the Carabao last time they had to bother – an 8-0 aggregate win over Hartlepool in 1995 – but you know what we mean. Disappointingly, Arsenal have been drawn away at West Brom, a tie which has huge Carabao round three vibes and thus spoils the novelty aesthetic a touch.
Fans
It’s genuinely caught us by surprise even though it shouldn’t have. We’d got so used to clinical, sanitised (in every way) pandemicball that we’d convinced ourselves we didn’t really miss the fans any more. Totally sold ourselves the lie that we didn’t even notice their absence. As a result, their return has been intoxicating. Whether it’s whole banks of furious Gunners aiming all manner of gestures at Reece James or simply sliding into despair at the futility of it all, or Spurs fans singing pointedly about Japhet Tanganga being one of their own or just the simple pleasure of the “Wahay!” that follows an away player doing something rubbish it has all felt absurdly, giddily heightened.
Brighton scoring goals
It’s a shame in many ways that xG heroes Brighton have slightly sullied the purity of their football with something as vulgar and gauche as scoring actual goals but we must grudgingly conclude that early results indicate it might be the way to go. Having scored about three goals from an xG of 727 last season (subs please check), their first two games of the new campaign have brought four goals from an xG of 3.07.
Southampton taking the lead against Manchester United and not losing
This absolutely blew our mind. The team that always loses after taking the lead against the team that always wins after falling behind. It was all going to plan when Southampton took a thoroughly undeserved lead and Mason Greenwood poked home an equaliser. We sat back and waited for the inevitable winning goal and yet, somehow – and boffins will scratch their heads over this for decades to come – the game ended with the score still 1-1. It’s a miracle the earth is still spinning on its axis, frankly.