Predicting the 30 England responses to Euro 2020 exit

Date published: Wednesday 9th June 2021 1:19 - John Nicholson


The first phone-in after an England exit, with Chris Waddle’s fierce rant still ringing in our ears, is a predictable thing. Here’s 30 of the inevitable reasons and solutions shouted into a phone to Chris Sutton or Robbie Savage after another tournament loss.

We know it’s going to happen…probably at the last-16 stage.

  • All the players who didn’t play, should have played.
  • All the players that played shouldn’t have played.
  • There’s no passion.
  • We’ve no world-class players.
  • Manager doesn’t shout enough.
  • They’ve let the whole of the country down.
  • Stop feeling everyone’s pain and try winning instead, Southgate.
  • Terrible foreign referees cheating us out of the tournament.
  • Southgate is too soft, unlike the fans.
  • Southgate is too woke, unlike the fans.
  • They’re all pampered little darlin’s, unlike the fans.
  • It’s all the fault of the press.
  • They just didn’t want it enough. You’ve got to want it at this level.
  • Dirty foreigners diving and cheating. They robbed us.
  • Southgate is tactically naive at this level.
  • Southgate has taken us as far as he can.
  • They’re too rich to care.
  • Not singing the national anthem proves they’ve no pride in playing for England.
  • They don’t love the Queen.
  • Expensive, overrated players are not fit to licks the fans’ boots.
  • Lack of head wounds. If you won’t bleed for your country, you’re dead to me.
  • Didn’t make a record or wear V-neck lambswool sweaters like proper footballers. F*** off with your hoodies, you pr*cks.
  • Liking rap music instead of Chris Rea.
  • It’s all down to taking the knee.
  • Jack Grealish’s hair. That can f**k right off.
  • F**king Sven and Nancy and Fabio, it’s all their fault.
  • Pep Guardiola. He can get in the bin along with Meghan Markle. Bin, love, bin.
  • Feminazis wearing non-sexist trousers and forcing us to be vegan.
  • Hey you, where are you from, eh? No, I mean, really.
  • Get Big Sam in.


Euro 2020 is finally here – and what better way to celebrate than with a preview show to mark the launch of our new multi-sport website Planet Sport?


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