There are Jude Bellingham hopes and messages for Liverpool while Man Utd should listen to Marcus Rashford if they have doubts…
For whom the Bell toils
Liverpool lost to Brighton in the FA Cup on Sunday (‘BRIGHTON SHOCK’ is The Sun website headline as sixth-place Brighton beat ninth-place Liverpool at home) and their only hope of silverware – and probably of qualifying for the Champions League – is to win the Champions League this season.
And that seems highly unlikely as they are currently operating somewhere between terrible and really f***ing shit.
So what’s the top headline on the ever-optimistic, propaganda-filled Liverpool Echo‘s Reds page in which Liverpool’s excellence is never knowingly under-sold?
‘Liverpool transfer news LIVE – Jude Bellingham latest, Moises Caicedo future, Nat Phillips links’
The ‘Jude Bellingham latest’ on this and every other bloody day is that there is zero chance of him leaving Borussia Dortmund for Liverpool this January and almost zero chance of him leaving Borussia Dortmund for Liverpool this summer unless they somehow qualify for the Champions League.
But let’s play ‘let’s pretend’…
‘Jude Bellingham sent Liverpool transfer message after Jurgen Klopp admission’
Yes, he was ‘sent Liverpool transfer message’ by Liverpool fans who had just watched the Reds lose to Brighton. That’s not ‘Liverpool transfer news LIVE’, that’s just Liverpool wishful thinking LIVE.
‘Liverpool fans have ransacked Jude Bellingham’s latest Instagram post with numerous transfer pleas as they hope to lure the Borussia Dortmund man to Anfield.’
‘Ransacked’ doesn’t mean what you think it does, fellas. They have not stolen things or damaged Bellingham’s latest Instagram post. They have just, well, posted comments.
Reach for the stars
Anything the Echo can do, the Mirror website – long-term believers that This Means More Clicks – are more than happy to match.
‘Liverpool transfer round-up: Reds given Bellingham hope with last-minute deal on the cards’
Is this designed carefully to suggest that a last-minute deal is on the cards for Bellingham? Of course.
Is a last-minute deal on the cards for Bellingham? Hell no.
So what is the ‘Bellingham hope’ that Liverpool have been given? Is it the player’s desire to join Liverpool? Is it balls; it’s this from Fabrizio Romano:
“Of course Borussia Dortmund would love Jude Bellingham to stay, it’s normal.
“But I keep my feeling speaking to sources of Bellingham expected to leave in the summer. There are too many top clubs keen on signing him, so it’s going to be more than difficult for BVB to keep him.”
So the ‘hope’ given to Liverpool is that a player who was always going to leave Borussia Dortmund in the summer is going to leave Borussia Dortmund in the summer.
So what of the ‘last-minute deal on the cards’? Nat Phillips. Obvs.
Climb every mountain higher…
What’s the only scenario with equal click power to pretending Liverpool can sign Jude Bellingham? Pretending Manchester United can sign Jude Bellingham, of course…
‘Marcus Rashford verdict should make Manchester United’s Jude Bellingham decision for them’
Hmmm. It seems unlikely that Manchester United simply cannot make up their minds whether to make a move for one of the best young footballers in the world.
And even unlikelier, as the Manchester Evening News suggests, that their eventual decision will be swayed by what Marcus Rashford said several months ago during the World Cup.
SPOILER: He thinks he’s dead good.
And then there’s the real low point…
‘Sources: Tottenham lay groundwork on unexpected Bellingham deal’ – Football Insider.
The reality is that neither Bellingham nor Moises Caicedo will move this January, with Brighton making it very clear that they will not sell the Ecuador international in this window.
But the Mirror would like you to believe that a move to Arsenal is a) happening and b) somehow worrying for Caicedo.
‘Moises Caicedo has one major fear over Arsenal move after Brighton transfer request’
It turns out on closer inspection that the ‘fear over Arsenal move’ is actually ‘concern that he may not get the chance to join Arsenal or Chelsea in the summer’, which sounds perfectly reasonable but is neither a ‘fear’ nor anything at all to do with Arsenal.
But at least they’re not pretending that he would still join Liverpool…
Oh Dani boy…
So who will Arsenal sign instead of Caicedo? Express Sport would like you to believe they have insight…
‘Arsenal board’s four alternatives if Moises Caicedo transfer pursuit ends in failure’
…when really all they have is speculation about ‘who would potentially be good alternatives for the club to pursue’.
Our favourite of the four is Dani Ceballos…
‘Right now, there’s nothing to suggest Arsenal would actually go back in for their former midfielder.
‘But given Ceballos’ Premier League experience and the fact he’s played under Arteta before, the Gunners would be wise to put the feelers out.’
Ceballos has started the last three games for a Real Madrid side fighting for the Spanish title; it would probably be ‘wise’ to leave that one well alone.
Howe is this not the biggest story in football?
Everton are so massive we’ve stolen Eddie Howe from Newcastle according to Sky
Champions league here we come pic.twitter.com/YtaG4XXixK
— Aldas🇱🇹 (@Aldas001) January 30, 2023