We’re only talking about the big leagues here…
20) Strasbourg – 11 (Lebo Mothiba 5, Nuno Da Costa 4, Kenny Lala 2)
Mothiba spoiled Thierry Henry’s managerial debut by scoring the winner against Monaco while Bournemouth were supposed to be interested in wonderfully-named right-back Kenny Lala this summer.
19) RB Leipzig – 11 (Timo Werner 4, Yussuf Poulsen 4, Jean-Kévin Augustin 3)
Four early season goals isn’t a bad return for Werner, who admits he’s knackered. Surely next summer will be his turn to leave Leipzig.
18) Bayern Munich – 11 (Robert Lewandowski 5, James Rodríguez 3, Arjen Robben 3)
Bayern have been wretched this season so it’s a good job they took such a firm stance with Lewandowski.
17) Tottenham – 11 (Harry Kane 5, Lucas Moura 3, Erik Lamela 3)
Spurs were fourth on this list in February, with two different goalscorers.
16) Bordeaux – 11 (François Kamano 7, Yann Karamoh 2, Jimmy Briand 2)
Newcastle and Fulham were interested in Kamano but they’ve probably missed the boat now the likes of Atletico Madrid are sniffing.
15) Celta Vigo – 11 (Iago Aspas 5, Maximiliano Gómez 4, Sofiane Boufal 2)
Aspas could score 60 this season and 70 the next, but he’ll still always be remembered for one thing…
14) Chelsea – 12 (Eden Hazard 7, Pedro 3, Alvaro Morata 2)
Hazard there, fluttering his eyelashes at Real Madrid, who obviously need him, given they are way down in 32nd on this list.
13) Napoli – 12 (Lorenzo Insigne 6, Dries Mertens 3, Arkadiusz Milik 3)
Insigne has been linked with Liverpool of late. Basically because he scored against them and that’s how these things work.
12) Hertha Berlin – 12 (Ondrej Duda 6, Vedad Ibisevic 4, Javairo Dilrosun 2)
This Hertha trio are tied with Genoa’s for having scored the highest percentage of their team’s goals – 92.3 per cent.
11) Genoa – 12 (Krzysztof Piatek 9, Goran Pandev 2, Christian Kouamé 1)
This is basically the work of Serie A’s leading scorer Piatek, who is scoring at a rate of a goal every 80 minutes. No wonder Chelsea are interested.
10) Manchester City – 13 (Sergio Aguero 6, Raheem Sterling 4, Riyad Mahrez 3)
The Premier League’s top scorers have had a division-high 11 players on the scoresheet so far this season.
9) Arsenal – 13 (Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang 6, Alexandre Lacazette 4, Mesut Ozil 3)
Aubameyang has scored four goals in his last two appearances, both of which have come as half-hour cameos off the bench. They are awful sexy now.
8) Borussia Monchengladbach – 13 (Alassane Plea 5, Thorgan Hazard 4, Jonas Hofmann 4)
Plea is off to a decent start in the Bundesliga after joining from Nice in the summer, while Thorgan – brother of Eden – has been involved in 11 goals in nine matches in all competitions.
7) Borussia Dortmund – 14 (Paco Alcacer 7, Marco Reus 5, Jadon Sancho 2)
Alcacer has started only one Bundesliga game so far this season. The Spain striker is currently scoring a goal every 18 minutes, which is frankly mental.
6) Barcelona – 14 (Lionel Messi 7, Luis Suarez 4, Philippe Coutinho 3)
Messi still doing Messi things. Let’s see how Barca get on without him in the coming weeks.
5) Marseille – 14 (Florian Thauvin 7, Dimitri Payet 4, Valère Germain 3)
Thauvin has certainly come a long way from being the tuxedo-clad £15million flop at Newcastle.
4) Sevilla – 15 (André Silva 7, Wissam Ben Yedder 5, Pablo Sarabia 3)
Andre Silva took everyone by surprise with seven goals in his first seven games for Sevilla, coming after only two for parent club AC Milan last season.
3) Eintracht Frankfurt – 15 (Luka Jovic 7, Sebastien Haller 5, Ante Rebic 3)
A five-goal haul for Jovic in the 7-1 win over Fortuna Dusseldorf propelled Frankfurt way up this list and inevitably led to links with Tottenham.
2) Lille – 15 (Nicolas Pépé 7, Jonathan Bamba 7, Luiz Araújo 1)
Pepe won Ligue 1’s player of the month award after four goals and an assist in four games throughout September. Good enough for Real Madrid or Barcelona, according to team-mate Jose Fonte.
1) PSG – 22 (Kylian Mbappe 9, Neymar 8, Edinson Cavani 5)
Despite leading the way here again, PSG’s star trio have chucked in the third lowest percentage of their team’s goals (59.5 per cent) on this list.