The ring has awoken as English media loses its mind over a finger Fitbit

Editor F365
Marc Guehi wearing his secret weapon smart ring.
Marc Guehi wearing his secret weapon smart ring.

Some England players have been seen wearing an Oura ring so of course it’s a ‘secret weapon smart ring’. And Kylian Mbappe is not sick.

 

Lord of the rings
This shouldn’t be silly season; it should be absolutely serious season as Euro 2024 begins and we are two days away from England playing Serbia at the tournament in Germany, and yet…everybody is losing their minds over a f***ing ring.

First, it’s not ‘secret’, is it? That’s a picture of Marc Guehi wearing the ring in training. Bold as brass.

Sami Mokbel takes up the tale in the Mail:

A ‘revolutionary’ smart ring worn by Kim Kardashian is emerging as England’s secret weapon here at Euro 2024.

We are suffering second-hand embarrassment for Mokbel that he has name-checked a Kardashian as early as the very first paragraph.

The ‘revolutionary’ quote appears to be quoting nobody at all, but it sounds more exciting than writing that some England players – and their manager – are wearing an Oura device that tracks sleep and spots signs of illness and fatigue. Like a Fitbit for your finger.

It is a cool piece of kit but it is basically a decade old and various celebrities and sportspeople have been among those wearing the ring for quite some time. It’s not news.

Except, well, The Sun are giddy:

Gareth Southgate spotted wearing England’s Euro 2024 secret weapon loved by Kim Kardashian and Prince Harry

Yes, he’s been ‘spotted’. In training. And in photo shoots. But very funny that the manager’s vitals and sleep patterns being tracked is ‘England’s Euro 2024 secret weapon’. This particular England fan would have preferred a competent defence and midfield.

WHAT do you do if you are Gareth Southgate and firmly believe in marginal gains to get England ahead for Euro 2024?

You wear a secret weapon smart ring loved by Kim Kardashian and Prince Harry.

A ‘secret weapon smart ring’!? Even the official website advertising the ring only claims it ‘translates your body’s most meaningful messages – sleep, activity, stress, and heart health – to transform how you feel every day’. It’s certainly a nice piece of kit but it doesn’t shoot out bullets or make you a cup of tea.

Over at the Daily Telegraph: ‘England manager Gareth Southgate and his players have turned to a celebrity-endorsed ring in their bid to become European champions.’

Question: Is the actual football starting soon?

 

This is our moment…
In the Daily Mirror, John Cross is doing his damnedest to convince us that England are about to win Euro 2024, despite any and all evidence (apart from the rings) to the contrary.

England’s four standout stars emerge in time for Gareth Southgate’s bid for Euro 2024 glory

How refreshing to see 30-year-old 91-cap Harry Kane ’emerge’ just in time for this tournament, along with Phil Foden, Jude Bellingham and £100m Arsenal footballer Declan Rice. Remember those names, folks.

‘The expectation levels have never been higher,’ begins Cross, which comes as a surprise to Mediawatch, who has not spoken to a single person who thinks England are going to win Euro 2024.

And this summer it is with good reason because England go to the Euros with a star-studded squad ready to win the trophy.

They literally lost to Iceland on Friday but carry on…

Cross then details to strengths of England’s four stand-out players – none of whom play in defence, it should be noted, and then concludes that ‘this can and should be England’s time’.

Why? And ‘because I want it to be’ really doesn’t count as a reason.

MORE ON EURO 2024 FROM F365:
👉 Euro 2024 predictions: A France-Germany final and classic semi-final woe for brave England
👉 Revealing the official F365 Dark Horse for Euro 2024 – and no, it still can’t be Belgium
👉 Most valuable Euro 2024 XI: Kylian Mbappe joins Arsenal duo in England-dominant team

 

Kylian me softly
Sometimes we reluctantly tip our hats to certain outlets for well-worded clickbait but not on this occasion; this is nothing other than wilfully misleading bumwash from The Sun:

Kylian Mbappe OUT of training as sickness bug rips through France camp days before Euro 2024 opener

First, and this seems important, it’s not a ‘sickness bug’; it’s a flu-like virus.

Second, only one player missed training because of said virus, despite it ‘ripping through’ the squad. They should have worn secret weapon smart rings.

Third, that player was not Kylian Mbappe. He did not appear at the public training session but was ‘working alone in the gym having managed his minutes since the squad met up in Paris last month’.

Other than that, it’s a brilliant story. They should be ashamed but this is The Sun; they are never ashamed.

 

But what’s really happening in the world of football?
We’re not saying that Euro 2024 fever is yet to grip the nation but this is the top football story on MailOnline at 10am on the day that the actual tournament begins:

Former Manchester United star Ander Herrera CHASES a fan down the street after he was called out for ‘breaking’ transfer promise, before his wife slams Zaragoza, who had hoped to sign him

More as we/they get it.

Mediawatch England

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