Ronaldo to ‘QUIT’ and Gerrard trends everywhere

Editor F365
Cristiano Ronaldo complains to the referee

Ronaldo cannot ‘quit’ so it is absolute nonsense, as is the surge to write about Steven Gerrard…


I Quit! I Quit!
Mediawatch has long been amused by the concept of footballers under contract ‘quitting’ clubs. See, for example, Harry Kane being ‘ready to abandon all plans to quit Tottenham’ last week when he has absolutely no option at all when it comes to quitting Tottenham. You cannot abandon impossible plans to make a non-existent transfer no matter how hard you try, Charlie Kane.

So the headline ‘Five clubs Cristiano Ronaldo could join if he quits Man Utd including reviving Man City transfer and return to old sides’ raised our eyebrows for several reasons. First, even Ronaldo cannot choose to ‘quit’ Man Utd in the middle of a contract, and second, who the hell would take on his reported £480,000-a-week salary?

After being heavily linked with a move to Eastlands over the summer, it would be even more extraordinary if Ronaldo joined City following his second spell at United.’

It really would. So extraordinary it is absolute unadulterated bollocks. City were never going to pay Ronaldo that kind of salary last summer and they absolutely will not pay that kind of salary a year later. And which element of City’s 2-0 victory over Manchester United made anybody think ‘the one thing City need now is Ronaldo’?

‘It is just a question over whether United would let him go to such a big rival.’

Yes. That’s definitely the only stumbling block here.

They then claim that Real Madrid ‘would likely be able to afford Ronaldo’s wages’ because of course Real Madrid have absolutely no financial problems, before touting PSG, Sporting (Portuguese football is famously rich) and Inter Miami as possible options for when Ronaldo ‘quits’ the best contract he would ever have been offered at one of the biggest clubs in the world.

And where has this idea of ‘quitting’ Manchester United come from anyway? From the Express website, of course, who confidently tell us:

‘It’s not entirely out of the question he’ll demand to leave the club at the end of the season if they find themselves stuck in Europe’s second-tier club competition next term.’

Couple of things:

a) Actually, it is pretty much entirely out of the question that he will demand anything of the sort.

b) This really is opportunistic bollocks peddled by people who write for Google rather than actual people. Unfortunately, those people are multiplying by the day.


Also in Ronaldo land…
Headline on Mirror website: ‘Cristiano Ronaldo explains “extra happiness” after escaping Man Utd struggles.’

Sub-headline on Mirror website: ‘Cristiano Ronaldo has revealed an “extra happiness” after temporarily getting away from Manchester United, following a terrible run from Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s side’

Opening line on Mirror website: ‘Cristiano Ronaldo has revealed an “extra happiness” since temporarily departing Manchester United to head for international duty with Portugal.’

Actual quote from Cristiano Ronaldo: “Good morning. It’s always an extra happiness when I’m back to my country!”

So that will be ‘Portuguese man likes Portugal’ then? Utterly shameless.


Buffalo stance
But that’s nothing compared to this doozy, again on the Express website:

‘Cristiano Ronaldo has told Man Utd owners the Glazers his stance on Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’

It’s oozing in keywords but it’s also oozing in absolute bollocks.

From the very first line – ‘Cristiano Ronaldo’s private stance on Ole Gunnar Solskjaer as Manchester United manager isn’t known’ – it is clearly utter hogwash.

Ronaldo has not told ‘Man Utd owners the Glazers’ anything; he told Sky Sports last month that “adaptation will take time” at Manchester United and never once mentioned Solskjaer. There has been no pronouncement – public or private – about his stance on Solskjaer.

The author? The same man who had written literally 24 hours before that Ronaldo could demand to ‘quit’ the club, of course.


I’ve got the key(word)
That phrase ‘Man Utd owners the Glazers’ has clearly been identified as a powerful keyword by the Express website

‘Cristiano Ronaldo has told Man Utd owners the Glazers his stance on Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’ – November 10

‘Man Utd owners the Glazers’ worrying observation as Ole Gunnar Solskjaer faces sack’ – November 10

‘Man Utd owners the Glazers ‘aware’ of Ole Gunnar Solskjaer problem that may force sack’ – November 9

‘Man Utd owners the Glazers face ‘significant’ hurdle on Ole Gunnar Solskjaer sack decision’ – November 8

Football365 column the Mediawatch has its own stance on this absolute shit.


Trending topics
The notion of writing for Google rather than people is how you end up with these kind of headlines as ‘trends, trends, trends’ becomes the mantra of modern journalism…

‘Steven Gerrard set for Manchester United reunion as Aston Villa appointment confirmed’ – the Manchester Evening News spin the arrival of Gerrard at Aston Villa.

‘Jack Grealish can show Steven Gerrard what might have been on Aston Villa return with Man City’ – the Manchester Evening News spin the arrival of Gerrard at Aston Villa in a different direction.

‘Steven Gerrard to Aston Villa sealed by former Liverpool insider’ – the Liverpool Echo are getting involved.

‘Steven Gerrard and Aston Villa could make Liverpool millions in January transfer window’ – the Liverpool Echo could be here a while.

‘New Aston Villa boss Steven Gerrard has already made his stance on replacing Jurgen Klopp at Liverpool clear’ – actually we should stop here because the Liverpool Echo have written 12 Gerrard stories in two days.

‘Newcastle United’s relegation rivals Aston Villa appoint ex-Liverpool legend Steven Gerrard after Rangers exit’ – the Shields Gazette get in on the action.

‘Rangers boss Steven Gerrard may have already hinted at dream Aston Villa signing from Chelsea’ – spin one way…

”Downgrade!’ – Arsenal, Chelsea and Tottenham fans react as Aston Villa appoint Steven Gerrard’ – then spin the other.

‘Steven Gerrard has already made his Arsenal feelings clear amid Aston Villa appointment’ – must be getting dizzy now.