Ruben Amorim ‘rinsed’ Bruno Fernandes as Man Utd urged to sack off eight

Ruben Amorim has ‘rinsed’ Bruno Fernandes so it’s a surprise that he is not among the eight that Man Utd must lose this summer…

Headline of the day
‘Manchester Utd’s Ruben Amorim will fail for one reason, predicts woman with two vaginas’ – Daily Star.

Insert your own ‘too many c***s’ joke here.

Rinse cycle
The nature of the football content beast in 2024 is that a well-researched long-form piece can be quickly dissected into bite-sized clickbait but we are in genuine awe at the speed of the Express in picking up this from the Athletic.

Around 70 paragraphs into a very, very long piece about Ruben Amorim which involved multiple sources, Charlotte Harpur wrote this:

‘As a pundit with Portuguese channel TVI in 2019, he was always up for a joke, even at the expense of Manchester United captain Bruno Fernandes.

‘In 2019, Fernandes attended the Estoril Open tennis tournament in Lisbon, but the then Sporting captain was refused entry because his denim shorts did not adhere to the dress code. Eventually, he found a pair of trousers, but on the next programme, the pundits, including Amorim, all wore shorts in a nod to Fernandes’ blunder.’

Within an hour, the Express had this headline: ‘Ruben Amorim rinsed Bruno Fernandes on live TV as duo prepare for Man Utd link-up’.

That ‘as’ stretches this story well over five years. But honestly, all we can do is applaud.

MORE ON MAN UTD FROM F365:
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👉 Scholes slams Man Utd star for ‘trying to make goal look better’ after Chelsea miss
👉 Mason Mount set to usurp Bruno Fernandes at Man Utd: The Ruben Amorim winners and losers

Back him by sacking them
‘Manchester United have to back Ruben Amorim by getting rid of eight players’ is the headline on Samuel Luckhurst’s latest piece in the Manchester Evening News.

This might be a crazy idea but is it worth waiting to see which players Amorim actually wants before ‘backing’ him by getting rid of Victor Lindelof, Joshua Zirkzee, Tyrell Malacia, Luke Shaw, Mason Mount, Antony and Christian Eriksen?

The eagle-eyed among you might have spotted that Luckhurst only advocates ‘getting rid’ of seven players (though we are fetching popcorn for any attempts to sell Antony). Maybe Amorim gets to decide whether he wants to keep Jonny Evans…he might need him at left-back.

Clever boy
Elsewhere on the MEN, if you can read the headline ‘I spotted Manchester United star’s reaction vs Chelsea – it highlighted a problem for Ruben Amorim’ without saying ‘whoopy-do for you’ then you are more mature than Mediawatch.

Please Sir, can we have some more quotes?
Sir Jim Ratcliffe says very little about Manchester United, so when he speaks – however loosely – it makes big headlines.

‘Sir Jim Ratcliffe makes brutal comment about Man United squad days after Erik ten Hag sacked’ – talkSPORT.

‘Sir Jim Ratcliffe provides damning assessment of Man United’s squad ahead of Ruben Amorim’s arrival’ – MailOnline.

‘Sir Jim Ratcliffe makes brutal comments about the Man Utd squad during interview and fans are in disbelief’ – SportBible.

‘Sir Jim Ratcliffe’s subtle dig at Man Utd players sheds more light on Ruben Amorim decision’ – Mirror.

We thought that only Mrs Mediawatch could be both ‘subtle’ and ‘brutal’ with one comment, but it seems Sir Jim Ratcliffe also has the knack.

The ever-so-slight flaw in pitching this as a ‘days after Ten Hag sack’ or ‘ahead of Ruben Amorim’s arrival’ sensation?

The quotes are from last month. Way before Erik ten Hag was sacked and way before Amorim was even approached.

He’s right about the squad though; it is a bit sh*t.

Chaos theory
Bombastic headline on MailOnline: ‘Man United need coaching, structure, identity and something other than unpredictability and fallibility – now Ruben Amorim must sort through Erik ten Hag’s chaos quickly, writes IAN LADYMAN’

What Ladyman (sorry, LADYMAN) actually writes on the game v Chelsea: ‘United created some decent chances, carried a threat on the counter and, crucially, were free of the chaos that did sadly characterise Ten Hag’s team in the Dutch manager’s latter days.’

So Manchester United were ‘free of the chaos’ during a deserved 1-1 draw against a very good Chelsea team and yet Ruben Amorim ‘must sort through Ten Hag’s chaos quickly’?

Did somebody just see the word ‘chaos’ and get giddy? Because of course United being mildly improved and claiming a decent-enough draw really will not do…

Ifs and buts = pots and pans
Martin Samuel is on one of his hobby horses in The Times: ‘Nottingham Forest are third. Now imagine where they might have been had they not been forced to sell Brennan Johnson to Tottenham Hotspur? Higher? Top, even? We’ll never know.’

We have a fair idea, Martin.