Sean Dyche would have made Manchester United better?

Date published: Friday 15th April 2022 12:50 - Editor F365

Sean Dyche shakes hands with Ralf Rangnick

The Mailbox is dominated by Burnley and Sean Dyche, while we also have thoughts on fights and more. Send your views to


Dyche sacked? Sorry, what?
Unbelievable shithousery from the board at Burnley, and great news for Everton. He’s made them punch above their weight for years and they do this to him?

Teams in the Premier League that would be in a better position had Dyche been in charge this season:






Aston Villa

Man Utd

I’m not even trolling by having United on there. The preening poseurs that ponce and prance around OT would be doing far better with a bit of old school management sticking a rocket up their collective arse. Not that United would ever consider giving the job to an old school working-class Brit these days, even though it worked out pretty well last time.

Dyche will be snapped up by some canny chairperson somewhere. He’s done an amazing job at Burnley.
Mat (fancy Liverpool to turn City over this weekend)


…Small club overachieving in the Premier League with a long term manager. Loses job when meet some trouble.

Where have we seen this before. Wait loads of times.

Will end in tears for Burnley.


Dyche decision is actually justified
It’s wrong to gloat about someone losing their job, so I’m not going to. However, while the timing is surprising, the decision Burnley have made isn’t.

I said earlier this season that Dyche’s Burnley play like Roy Hodgson’s Crystal Palace, attempting to grind their way to safety and shackling their most exciting players. I would not be surprised if there were Burnley fans who had seen how well Wilfried Zaha has performed in Patrick Vieira’s team and wondered if the comparably talented Maxwell Cornet would benefit from a similar setup. The Premier League team has changed and even the midtable teams Burnley aspire to match have adopted a more possession-based approach designed to create lots of chances, while Dyche and Hodgson are in the relegation mire because they haven’t moved with the times.

There’s always been something a bit chicken and egg about Dyche and Burnley. Does the manager use those tactics because he can only attract players who can play that style, or can he only attract those players because more artistic players aren’t interested in taking Burnley’s offer to play that sort of football. It’s perhaps telling that behind the headlines of Burnley pulling off a transfer coup to sign Wout Weghorst, he was only available because his (lack of) vaccination status meant he was not allowed to play in the Bundesliga. Not sure what it says about Dyche that he had so few qualms signing such a player up.

It seems like their should be a German word for when a couple splits up and both of them trade down with their new partners. That’s the case for two of my friends, and possibly the case for Burnley and Dyche. The Clarets will either end up with someone who uses Dyche’s style but not as well as him, or take a risk on someone completely different. For Dyche, it’s a strange situation. It’s unlikely any of the teams above Burnley wanting a progressive style will turn to him, so that leaves either firefighting when someone needs defensive organisation next season, or more likely going to the first Championship side who decides their promotion challenge is faltering. Either way, at best it will be a sideways move, instead of upwards.
Ed Quoththeraven


Rivalries don’t need violence
I have to say that the common narrative that great rivalries have violence and aggression and therefore City/Liverpool isn’t one is pretty stupid.

By that rationale United v Arsenal is not the biggest and most exciting rivalry.

Blackburn v Burnley is bigger and more exciting, so much so fans regularly trash their own town centre.

Or how about Millwall v West ham?

Or how about Fenerbahce and Galarasaray, people regularly die in that rivalry.

You don’t need aggression or violence for it to be a great rivalry, you need two teams competing at the highest level regularly.

The fact United and arsenal was filled with cards doesn’t make it better, if it did then we would all love watching atletico, but we don’t. We tune in to watch football, we want fast attacking play, goals, sweet passes and a breakneck pace.

Throwing bits of pizza at each other and shoving people like its primary school playground fight doesn’t make it exciting, it makes it pathetic and childish.

Watching Martin Keown swing van Nistelrooy around by his shirt and scream in his face after he missed a penalty didn’t make me think – awesome rivalry. It made me think sad losers who can’t win on the pitch so they resort to shithousery.

Is the City/Liverpool rivalry great? I don’t know. But I do know it wouldn’t be made better by being more aggressive and violent that would just break up what is almost always superb football.


Who said City were angels?
Why is it that if you have an issue with Atletico, you must think City are angels? No one has said that.

Stuart, there is a difference between rolling back on to the pitch to kill time, and sweeping your leg through a player’s calf after a tackle just to make sure you take a chunk (which I’d hardly describe as fair, he got sent off for it after all). One does not purposefully cause physical harm and is conducted by every team when they need to, the other is performed by rash idiots who’ve lost their heads or Atletico.

Obviously it’s still not great when teams kill time, or do any of the more cynical aspects of the game but don’t equate obviously different behaviour.

And Stuart, I remember this “50/50” throw-in, it was a stonewall City throw, that’s why they talked about it; they were amused, not disgusted.

No one likes commentary teams though, we all know this don’t we?! The bias is cringe-worthy, they get stuff wrong, they don’t seem to know the rules despite being ex-professionals, they can’t make proper sentences, and if they do it’s usually so bland it’s pointless. All the rubbish about protecting us from bad language, and “no one wants to see that” obviously needs to get in the bin, I didn’t think this was anything new, and it doesn’t seem to be changing any time soon.

The Atletico Vs City game was tremendous entertainment, but you can still have issues with the way a team/manager behaves instead of assuming everything is utterly polarised all the time.
David (bit calmer now, a relaxing weekend fixture against LFC will help)


Favourite football fights
Got to say John Matrix AFC has a valid point about “Scenes we DO love to see”, we all get a bit excited when a fight breaks out on a football pitch and i don’t think any of us have thought “best turn this over to the news channel till it has stopped”, a little confession but that is why i watch some derby matches because whenever there is a rivalry the chance of a heated game are there and it is just fun to watch, some classic fights on the pitch have to be:

– Lee Bowyer and Kieron Dyer, nowadays this would be a Pay to View fight on a random channel
– Joey Barton vs the Manchester City squad on the famous 11/12 final day, he just wanted a fight
– Paolo Di Canio and the referee, still hilarious to watch
– Eden Hazard vs that very old, nearly an adult ball boy
– Inter Milan vs Valencia back in 2007, now that is quite something to watch

So what are the mailboxers’ favourite football fights?
The Admin @ At The Bridge Pod


Oh Davie Moyes…
That Moyes fella is doing some job over at West Ham.

He really should be snapped up by a bigger team.
Robbie DFC. Eire
* I still wish Declan Rice was Irish..


Man Utd and fans know nothing
Okay, is it time for us all at the Man Utd fan base to finally realise that we know nothing. Should we not be seen as equally incompetent as Ed, as hopelessly lost on tactics as Ole and his coaching team, as equally angry as Jose was and as equally dull as LVG? I was going to put as equally wrong over David Moyes but….. although I do feel they got rid of him too soon which started this whole car crash situation we see at the club now. But in essence, we know nothing, just like the board, the executives, the pundits and the majority of the Utd fans, I include myself.

I think if the fanbase was truly honest with themselves, there are very few Utd signings since Fergie left that have not been championed by the club and the fanbase as a whole. Media, pundits, managers, fans have all but said that we’ve signed a truly world-class talent or a special talent that will evolve into a freak universal legend.

Let’s have a look at these special or world class or ones for the future, generational talents that we have all championed upon them signing and how many of those signings have actually been any good?

We see Fellaini, not a total flop but didn’t do anything apart from wave his elbows.
Mata, still here nine years later having done nothing for the last six.
Who can forget Di Maria, what a signing that was.
Falcao, ok it was on loan and we all wanted him to do something but he never did.
Harry Maguire, championed as the rock we needed.
Wan the man, sewn up our RB position for the next 10 years apparently.
Depay, again we championed him and again we were wrong.
Schniederlin, maybe not championed but was seen by many as a good signing.
The German Bastien, a stop gap signing but was supposed to be able to do a job.
Some wanted us to sign Ighalo permanently.
Lukaku, started ok then fizzed out to oblivion, went to Inter did well, gone to Chelsea and he’s worse than he was with us.
Rojo, we all said ‘Who?’, then watched youtube and came out with ‘He’s a beast, what a player!!’
Dan James, lovely guy who again was looked at as a bargain buy, great signing. Although I feel he did more in his 1st season than Sancho has.
Mkhitaryan, the assist king from Dortmund.
Sancho, the assist king from Dortmund
Sanchez, the assist king from Arsenal and a goal scoring threat every time he gets the ball.
Martial, what an impact, we were in awe of the young kid from France.
Fred, getting one over on Pep just like we did with Sanchez.
Cavani, he has gorgeous hair so must be good.
Varane, him sending that little video when he signed just melted our hearts.
Ronaldo, the greatest goal scorer of all time, like a good wine.
Pogba, Pogboom. The return of the one who got away.
VDB, a little magician.
There are a few others as well, Dolot, Telles, Herrera, Zlatan, Bailly who is in the same ilk as Rojo ‘Who’ until we watch Youtube. Lindelof and Blind (great hair again). Others that I can’t even be bothered to put as they were non existent.
Last but not least, Fernandes. Great signing, world class.

All if not a majority of these players were championed by the fanbase, some of them still are. Realistically though, how many of those have been any good and lived up to the media hype and fan expectations? Probably shouldn’t say fan expectations as so many Utd fans now worship mediocrity.

Zlatan did what he was supposed to do.
Fellaini wasn’t a total flop but by god it was ugly sometimes/most of the times.
Herrera gave us a bit of bite.
Fernandes, up until the end of last season was doing his job.

So, I think it is fair to say that we as a fanbase know just about as much as the ones on charge of recruitment at the club. At the time of their signings, the club believed in them and so did we. Looking down the list, and there are more that nobody has ever heard of, that is an appalling transfer record. All with great promise and all but about four have given us absolutely nothing. Season after season, we get worse despite the fanbase backing almost every signing. Our entire squad is filled with these media and fan hyped show ponies that will never win a bloody thing with us.

When we say that Ed was terrible, Moyes was woeful, so was LVG and Jose but Ole was awesome then Ole wasn’t awesome. Pogboom is incredible, Ronaldo will score 60, Mata is a maestro, Martial is a god, Varane is the missing piece, sancho is world class, Cavani has to play and Maguire will make us better, you have proved that like everyone else, they know nothing, you know nothing, I know nothing, we all know nothing. Still waiting for the heavy metal football under this incredible interim manager, it’s all nonsense from all angles.

Manchester United forward Cristiano Ronaldo during a match

When eventually Ten Hag is announced, let’s heed our expectations. When we next sign someone, let’s not get carried away by the hype of what they may or may not have done in the past in some nondescript league somewhere, let’s not start singing their name as the second coming because the club foolishly paid 4 times what they are worth and lets not, for the love of god, sign or attempt to sign anyone from Dortmund ever again. Man Utd seen to keep them afloat with the ludicrous transfer fees on duff players. Kagawa, Micky, Sancho please NO Haaland.

On the point of who we should sign, well it isn’t football manager so I would simply look at sides like Brighton, Wolves, Leeds etc and we could probably get upgrades for almost every position. Personally, I would go for Phillips over Rice. Maybe Lamptey at Brighton, I’d even say that Mings at Villa is better than all of our CB’s, that’s how poor our lot are. Not sure on Neves at Wolves but Bissouma again at Brighton would be a big upgrade. I’d also look at Sa at wolves as a DDG replacement, just think he is a better all round keeper. Raphinha at Leeds would have been a better and cheaper shout than Sancho, looks like he is off to Barcelona, but Traore before he went there would have been perfect. Bamford would have been better than signing Ronaldo.

But again, I know nothing so they could all come and stink out the place for another 3 years. They probably wouldn’t come unless they get paid 250k a week ffs. Hopefully now though, we will have a manager with an actual plan, only time will tell. Come the start of next season which really can’t come fast enough, if it is the same old faces doing the same old thing then I’ll just give up and live with the realisation that we’ll be shit for another 10 years. At least that way it will be a good excuse to get properly drunk every time we win, as it won’t happen very often.
Mike (Let Haaland go to City and see if he can keep his goal scoring record in a league where players tackle you)


Looking for Eric
Tim McKane, I don’t remember Djemba-Djemba being that much of a hit to be honest…did I miss something?
Mr Grumpy-pants


…I loved the mailbox and in particular Tim McKane’s comments. It’s nice to see people remember the influence that the previous great Eric has had on Man Utd. Good to know the streets will never forget Eric Djemba-Djemba.
Edward Canhands (Cantona who?)


Little bit of politics…
Arsenal’s visit Rwanda sponsorship has a different meaning today…
Alex, South London

More Related Articles