Just how sh*t are Spurs, Arsenal, Everton, Leicester?

Date published: Monday 13th July 2020 8:07

They are basically all terrible. Spurs, Arsenal, Chelsea, Leicester. All awful.

Winks Aubameyang Tottenham Arsenal F365

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‘Scream inside your heart’ or… Spurs 2-1 Arsenal (arbitrary number of conclusions)
He sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. He knows if you’ve been good or bad, so be good for goodness’ sake. Kolašinac has been the wonky shopping trolley wheel in the makeshift Arsenal back three and Mourinho was prepared for that dozey pass.

Tierney marking Alderweireld was the most obvious mistake in Arteta’s otherwise promising first (half) season.

Once Spurs’ left and right backs were both on yellows Arsenal neglected to apply more pressure on them. That shows the lack of killer instinct Arteta needs to instill. At face value it’s just sheer incompetence.

Bellerin not passing forward to Pepe for most of the game deserved either an early hooking for Hector or Nicolas. Or, like most Arsenal fans probably felt, Bellerin shouldn’t have reclaimed his starting position so easily.

Aubameyang not making the runs when Tierney was looking to feed him/Tierney not feeding Aubameyang when he was ready to peel away from the defense was seriously headache inducing.

Winks committed three yellow card offences. He was booked for the third. It might not have changed the result. But, then again, there would have been a spare man to defend that late Harry Kane attack down the left, and subsequent match-winning corner.

Mustafi has somehow contrived to become Arsenal’s best CB this season. There have already been too many signs of the apocalypse this year.

Harry Kane continues to be an effective defender from the front. That’s now his main contribution.

Surprisingly, Mourinho did not park the bus. Spurs were on the front foot from the start. In fact, Arsenal were busy making twelve point turns at the depot before we got caught out with a set-piece.

Despite Spurs’ surprising positivity Arsenal were arguably the better team overall. There is hope for Arsenal next season. Albeit only for a top six place. Well, let’s say sixth.

Losing the north London Derby is painful. However, neither side can truly rejoice with both Wolves and Sheffield Utd looking likely to claim the remaining European slots. I’m not sure who’d have the more embarrassing All Or Nothing. Tell you what, though, I’m glad Amazon aren’t shining a light on our failings.
Simon (screaming inside his heart) AFC


How sh*t are Spurs?
I really enjoy a mid-game musing because it has the potential to make me look like a footballing oracle or, more likely, an idiot.

Objectively speaking, we are a mid-table team now. Not just by position but by quality of player. Let me expand:

Davies – mid-table (at best). Very limited, not particularly outstanding at anything.

Aurier – relegation-level full-back (regardless of what league he is in). Clearly very athletic but that’s it. Often doesn’t know what to do with a football much less understand what a football is. Mainly culpable for Arsenal’s opener which is true of 76.3% of goals we concede (stat not verified). Also got himself booked ridiculously for putting himself in a position where he could have simply passed back to Lloris in the first instance. But why do that when you can be a complete and utter c*nt giving away a free kick in a dangerous area and getting a yellow for good measure.

Sanchez – not CL quality.

Sissoko – held in high regard because 1) he was just so terrible to begin with and he got better, although how you’d expect any other result from being that shit I just wouldn’t ever know. He can improve a million times over and is still nothing more than a mid table type player. At a stretch and 2) he tries quite hard. Something most of our team don’t.

Winks – we love a local hero but no. He’s like one of those Cleverly types isn’t he?

Lucas – again, held by some in a slightly misguided light simply because of ‘that night’ in Amsterdam. I still get goosebumps watching that game back but he is pretty shit. How he gets in ahead of Lamela (who works just as hard and is simply better), Stevie or even Jose Dominguez Is beyond me.

Kane, Sonny, Le Colso and Lloris you can argue a case for, fairly obviously and you can even say that Toby still serves a purpose with better players around him.

It’s not pessimism but I fully expect Arsenal to go ahead and win this. I’m delighted to say we were the better team but they still scored out of nothing/Aurier. And actually, all I wanted was some enjoyment from the game which I had in that first 45 minutes. Some movement, a few decent passages of passing and some actual efforts on goal. Still a lot of awful decision making at time’s that make you approach cardiac arrest but also some nice moments. Is it the 442? Who knows. Mourinho doesn’t.

Yeah, it’d be nice to win but I’ve never know pain like this watching this Spurs team. Even in the 90s, we were dog shit but at least it was fun (sometimes). So I just want to enjoy some of the football we play and I kind of did in that first half. Let’s see how well this email ages….
Glen, Stratford Spur


Footballing idiot, at your service.
Glen, Stratford Spur


Now you must lay off Jose…
And those who were dancing were thought to be crazy by those who cannot hear the music…

Those extraordinary words of Nietzsche are ringing harmoniously in my ears right now. When you guys posted my paragraph defending Jose after the Bournemouth dry performance, I could almost imagine Spurs fans around the world rolling their eyes. But as we have stolen the glory (see what I did there) from the Gunners today, it has only proven my point. Jose wasn’t brought in to play tiki taka and dominate possession; Jose was brought in to win matches which are important. Today’s match was important, and we won it. That’s what matters and maybe what matters even more is that some haters may finally shut up and realise that football (like life) has its ups and downs. This season Spurs have had extraordinary lows, we can only hope that next season brings some highs.
Anns Mahboob


Passing the virus on…
Schadenfreude is usually not my thing, but after some five years of turgid, lateral football, it’s nice to see we’ve handed that baton to some of our competitors. Chelsea and Arsenal are both playing that game now, and Spurs aren’t too far behind. Low blocks, midfielders that rarely get close to the opposition box, forwards left to deal with constantly being outnumbered, and having to shoot from distance, hardly anybody running past the last man or playing on the shoulder of the defence. The ball being switched from side to side, long periods of possession often ending in poor or aimless crosses. On the rare occasions where promising positions are in danger of being reached, the safe pass is always chosen and before you know it, the ball has been recycled back to the defence. Ah, I still get the jitters. Please don’t let that come back to Old Trafford any time soon.
Ved Sen, MUFC


How sh*t are Everton?

I wrote in before lockdown to compare Everton to a contestant on the Crystal Maze working out what game they’re playing. We have not improved. The football against Wolves was passive and lacking any direction or drive.

Bournemouth and Villas survival chances improved by their wins today, they will be further enhanced by the fact that they still have Everton to play in their final 3 games and Watford and West Ham don’t.

Bring on the end of the season, Ancelotti has a job on.
Matt, EFC, London


Oh Leicester…
A fantastic season, performing above expectations and close to achieving the unexpected, manager lapping it up and believing the hype, only to shoot themselves in the foot repeatedly and miss out in the run in.

Liverpool 2013-14
Leicester 2019-20

Classic Rodgers.
James Broughton


Thank you Dominic
Well those two goals could be the most important in Dominic Solanke’s Chelsea career, we shouldn’t have to rely on other teams, but maybe Leicester are just worse than us, certainly helps when players like Soyuncu completely lose their minds and kick out, which in turn means he misses the final three games of the season.

Bournemouth have hope, they say it’s the hope that kills you.
Mikey, CFC



Too many penalties
There are too many penalties in the game right now. This has been bothering me ever since the introduction of VAR. I remember thinking that France in WC18 were fortunate, for lack of a better word, at times, to break open a game in which they weren’t playing particularly well, due to a technically correct ticky-tack foul in the box. My impression is that it is even more pronounced since the restart.

I have no stats to back this up, just my impression based on what I’ve seen. Ronaldo scores at least one penalty in every game. Ramos likewise. Man U’s much vaunted resurgence has coincided with a fair few.

Certainly, the big teams seem to be getting these calls in their favor. It could very well be that the calls are all correct. It could very well be due to them playing in the opponents’ box more than vice versa. Whatever the reason, the high number of penalties is causing damage to the game in my opinion.

With VAR’s ability to spot every tiny infraction in the box (I’ll leave the consistency of application aside), I think it’s time to revisit what merits a free shot 12 yards from goal, a near certain score. Only the harshest infractions should result in the gift of a penalty kick. Whether it’s making the box smaller or moving kicks for less serious infractions (the majority) back to the 18 or farther- there needs to be a way to reduce the number of penalties.

In my opinion it sucks watching a big team, already laden with every advantage under the sun, get bailed out in a tough match because there was a coming together in the corner of the box. Penalties are boring, and it’s boring when more matches have them than not. Even in a best case scenario, where penalties are awarded fairly and consistently, they devalue goals, they are a boring way to score and to decide a game.

Any ideas for a solution?


Best of a nation
Hungary – Kubala 3 , Kocsis 2 Puskas 1 .
England – Moore 3 Gascoigne 2 , Robson 1
Argentina – Di Stefano 3 Messi 2 Maradona 1.
Holland – Neeskens 3 Van Basten 2 Cruyff 1 .
Cameroon – Lauren 3 Milla 2 Eto ó 1
Yugoslavia – Savisevic 3 Boban 2 Stojkovic 1
Spain – Puyol 3 Iniesta 2 Xavi 1
Australia – Viduka 3 Johnstone 2 Kewell 1
Belgium – Ceulemans 3 Hazard 2 DeBruyne 1
I’d be interested to hear the Scots’ viewpoint on Scottish players . I know they had a good team in ´62 .
Perhaps – Burns, Dalglish, Baxter?
Peter (Check out Kocsis goals per game at international level ) Andalucia


Hate? Why the hate?
Wow I got a fair bit of hate for my choices. It’s only a bit of fun.
Dr Louis

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