Mediawatch: How will Sturridge survive Dr Crippen?

Date published: Monday 18th April 2016 12:33

Different planets
‘Daniel Sturridge delivered a Man of the Match display as Liverpool blitzed Bournemouth – yet Jurgen Klopp warned he could be back on the bench against Everton on Wednesday.’ writes Darren Lewis in the Daily Mirror.

What Darren Lewis of the Daily Mirror does not mention is that Klopp directed the following comments directly at Darren Lewis of the Daily Mirror after he asked question after question about Daniel Sturridge:

“We have a football game and you want to talk about one player?

“Are you not interested in the game?”

“That’s how you understand football? You really work in sports? That one player can win a game?”

“He scored a goal, but was it from a cross or not? We live on different planets, I think, if you think one player can win a game.”

“This is a game, where we have 11 players in different positions. And you are interested in only one player?!”

“I enjoyed the game of Daniel Sturridge today, really. But to get a question like this, after a game like this, I don’t really understand.”

Klopp was then asked if Sturridge – who has started Liverpool’s last four Premier League games – is now “undroppable” and he replied: “Nobody is undroppable. Undroppable…this means I cannot leave them out, right?

“We have other players. Divock Origi is not in the worst shape, and I decide as the manager whether we play with one, two, three or four strikers!”

So clearly, ‘Jurgen Klopp warned he could be back on the bench against Everton on Wednesday’. Like every other player in this Liverpool squad.

Well done, Darren, you got your story.

The sub-headline on Lewis’ match report: ‘DARREN LEWIS saw a classy display from a forgotten man.’

To repeat: Sturridge has started Liverpool’s last four Premier League games. Who the f*** has forgotten him?

You really work in sports?


Making a murderer
The Sun’s
Paul Jiggins on Jurgen Klopp suggesting that Daniel Sturridge needs to learn the difference between “serious pain and what is only pain”:

‘The German has displayed a bedside manner akin to Dr Crippen’s…’

Yes, that’s murderer Dr Crippen.


How the Daily Express website sold the news: ‘Angry Liverpool boss Jurgen Klopp hits out at Daniel Sturridge comments.’

It’s almost genius.


Danny, the champion of the world
Paul Jiggins describes Daniel Sturridge’s performance as a ‘masterclass’, claims he ‘inspired Klopp’s rookies’, says he ‘was the sharpest player on the pitch’, describes an ‘extraordinary piece of skill’ and writes that he was ‘as bright as a button’. He uses the word ‘Sturridge’ 11 times in his match report.

Conversely, the name of Jordon Ibe – who set up Sturridge’s goal – is used once.

Guess who was The Sun’s Dream Team STAR MAN?


Garth invader

At least somebody at the BBC clocked that Borini did actually play in midfield; it just wasn’t Garth.


Official line
‘REF CLANGERS SPARK STORM’ is the unequivocal headline on the Daily Mail’s match report from Leicester’s 2-2 draw with West Ham. Apparently, ‘no-one goes home happy after string of crazy decisions’. According to Martin Samuel, referee Jon Moss was ‘equally random’ and ‘made massive calls seemingly on a whim’.

What a shame for the Mail, then, that former referee Graham Poll – heralded by the same newspaper as ‘the official line’ – judges that ‘most of his calls were correct’ and concludes that ‘is it hard to criticise for the decisions he gave’.

Not that hard, apparently.


Can’t do right for doing wrong
This is Martin Samuel on the decision to send off Jamie Vardy, apparently made ‘on a whim’:

‘In the 57th minute, Moss sent off Jamie Vardy for diving. He was running through with Angelo Ogbonna in contention when he collapsed in a heap. The home crowd screamed for a penalty; instead, Moss produced a yellow card, Vardy’s second of the game, and sent him to the stands.

‘Was he correct? Replays suggested as much.

‘Vardy appeared to slow his run and change his direction to take him into Ogbonna’s path before taking a dramatic fall on contact.

‘Yet it would have been exceedingly hard to call on first sight, and after several replays many were still not sure. Moss knew the consequences of a second booking, too.

‘Leicester were leading 1-0 at the time meaning, if Tottenham lose at Stoke tonight, the Premier League could be won against Swansea next Sunday. So Moss was not just removing Vardy from this game, but from the biggest match of his life. He would have had to be absolutely certain of that dive — and it is hard to see how he could be, at that pace. It took several replays for the truth to emerge.

‘In the Hollywood script, Vardy will be painted as the victim of a huge injustice. He wasn’t – although the hostile reaction of the home crowd is what ultimately overwhelmed Moss, and this is where it began.’

So the decision was correct but you could not initially tell it was correct, so that makes the referee – who was much, much closer to the action – a clown that should have been hooked with a ‘big shepherd’s crook’? Excellent work. You really work in sports?


The Wright call
Ian Wright on that Andy Carroll/Jeff Schlupp penalty on the BBC: “The most you can point your finger at Carroll for is to say he was running back in there recklessly and he made contact.”

What you’ve done there, Wrighty, is describe Andy Carroll committing a foul in the penalty area. Which generally leads to a penalty.


Becoming the story
The front of the Sunday Times sports section promised a big interview with an unnamed ‘Leicester hero’, oddly illustrated with a picture of journalist Jonathan Northcroft.

Flick to the inside pages…the ‘Leicester hero’ was Andy King.

Fairtyale stuff.


Shock of the day
Apparently David de Gea made a ‘SHOCK CLAIM’ at the weekend.

According to The Sun, he ‘astonishingly revealed’ something.

And what did he ‘astonishingly reveal’?

Sit down before you read this. It seems that Manchester United’s players were – and this is truly shocking – “a bit tired” at the end of four games in two weeks. The pooves.


Surprise of the day
John Cross on Dimitri Payet in the Daily Mirror: ‘Player of the Year? Well, you wouldn’t know it at Leicester. I’m surprised by his nomination but maybe it’s down to his recent impressive form, he’s hit the heights at the right time just as the voting papers go in.’

Just the nine goals and eight assists for Payet this season. What a load of sh*t.


Sergio Aggro
What Bacary Sagna said about Sergio Aguero: “For me, Aguero is the best attacker in the world.”

What The Sun heard Bacary Sagna say about Sergio Aguero (the ‘Argie assassin’ even in 2016): ‘Frenchman Sagna reckons his Manchester United team-mate is now even better than La Liga stars Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo.’

Mediawatch suspects that Sagna – who obviously mentions neither Messi nor Ronaldo – is quite rightly making a distinction between strikers and other attacking players.

And yes, that does say Manchester United.


Recommended reading of the day
Michael Cox on Shinji Okazaki

Thore Haugstad on West Ham’s tactics v Leicester

James Ducker talks to Massimo Cellino

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