Who has scored the most Premier League goals at the age of 16, 40 and everywhere in between?
All these players are Premier League regulars. And all these players have been pretty damned poor...
Fred did not join Man United to be grouped with Scott McTominay. But he is not the worst signing on this list...
How hyped is everyone for Vincent Janssen to score the goal that wins Tottenham the Premier League title?
We will get through this together. Just use our trusty January transfer deadline day drinking guide.
For every Kim Kallstrom there could be a Dele Alli. Or a Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang. It's a mixed bag.
We are lovely enough to go through what every club wants, needs and will get on deadline day.
Chelsea really are a striker short of being brilliant. Maybe Anthony Martial should be that striker...
There have been some quite hilarious January transfer window deals over down the years. Hilariously bad.
It can only be Peter Goldstein. This is what happens when there is not much midweek football...
We take a look at every PL club's record transfer progression. Let's all laugh/cry at Newcastle...
Lazar Markovic, Marcos Rojo and 18 other forgotten men. Who knew Joe Mason was a Wolves player?
A delicate combination of Edu, Denis Suarez and Raul Sanllehi has left Sven Mislintat on the Arsenal brink.
It's a term used by those who look down on that mid-table. But there's nothing mediocre about those teams...
Who gives a sh*t if you're top of the league when you don't rank anywhere in the top five of some arbitrary stats?
We're bored with betting companies on shirts. Here's 20 better suggestions. Well, 19...
It turns out that Ole Gunnar Solskjaer is the second coming of the actual Jesus Christ of Nazareth.
If he won't pay for transfers out of his own money, Rafa Benitez can still help out with packed lunches.
You can't convince Pete Goldstein that the game of the weekend is at Wembley and not Turf Moor...
Football can unite to oust the Oystons and prevent the damage at Bloomfield Road from happening to any other club.
"I mimicked the Basil Fawlty salute as a mere jocular acknowledgement of the crowd's banter."
Turns out that Liverpool sign loads of players from Southampton. And Man United spend all their money on Everton.
For once, Tottenham aren't on this list. We've finally got the message, Mauricio. You don't listen to us.
Harry the Hornet appears in two of these, so you know it's going to be good.
This is very much a game for wingers. Which full-backs will be exposed? We have questions.
It's open! Which position does every Premier League club need to strengthen?
Sure, Premier League games are fun, but what about the hours beforehand? This is an absorbing read...
With the January transfer window positively upon us, let's take a look at every club's best winter move.
Which side has been top of the Premier League table for the longest cumulative time without ever winning it?
Caption this indeed. Man United get two, Palace get two and Watford get two. Lovely job.
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