‘Ralph ten Hag lost’ at Man Utd as £51m signing set to have ‘arse ripped out of him’

Date published: Tuesday 9th August 2022 6:19 - Will Ford

Ten Hag Man United

Erik ten Hag looked ‘lost on that touch line’ as Manchester United fell to an opening day defeat to Brighton.

The United boss has in general avoided criticism in the wake of their 2-1 loss at Old Trafford, despite perhaps deserving a share of the blame, with the majority of condemnation aimed at the players, who are deemed not good enough, and the Glazers, who continue to take money out of the club.


F365 says: Arnautovic and Rabiot? Ten Hag doesn’t have to put up with this sh*t from Man Utd


Former Red Devils Gary Neville, Paul Scholes and Roy Keane have all had their say, but what we all need is the thoughts of one of football’s great thinkers, Richard Keys.

The disgraced former Sky Sports presenter, who now works for beIN Sports with lackey Andy Gray in tow, writes a blog to spout his often nonsensical  bullsh*t.

This week he’s had a pop at Erik ten Hag, whom he hilariously refers to as ‘Ralph ten Hag’ in a highly amusing reference to interim boss Ralf Rangnick, who preceded the Dutchman at United and didn’t have the best of times.

He’s also confused (as he often is) by the signing of Lisandro Martinez, who joined in a £51m from Ajax this summer.

Keys wrote: ‘Brighton we’re terrific. They had a plan. They believed in it – and it’s very evident they believe in their coach as well. They played through – and all round United.  And let’s not forget they sold their two best players for £100m in the summer.

‘So why couldn’t Ralph ten Hag’s United have done better? They were hopeless. Nothing has changed since Rangnick picked his last team. Nothing. No – I’m sorry. They’ve got a 5’8” centre-back that’s likely to have the arse ripped out of him most weeks now that proper No9’s are back in fashion. Who’s idea was that for goodness sake?

‘Ten Hag has talked a good game since his appointment. He delivered nothing on Sunday.

‘I saw Henry Winter argue in The Times that United have got the right coach – but the wrong squad and owners. Really? Have Brighton got a better squad? I don’t think so – but their coach got them playing. Ralph ten Hag looked lost on that touch line.’

Keys is also very happy to talk about referees (sometimes misogynistically), and claimed the it was a bad day at the office for VAR on Sunday, particularly when it came to the United goal, where a defender we weren’t aware plays for United (whom we assume is Scottish or at least has Gaelic roots) was definitely offside.

‘VAR was also hopeless I’m sorry to say. McTominay should’ve gone off. Brighton should’ve had a pen – and United’s goal should’ve been disallowed. If it wasn’t handball – McGuire was off-side – and of course he was ‘active’. He forced the own goal.’

‘McGuire’. FFS.

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