Ten proper volleys, including Manchester United title winner clincher and Zidane magic

John Nicholson 20 Aug 2024 2:02 PM

Manchester United striker Robin van Persie scores against Aston Villa

Now *that* is a proper volley

After the admin of clearing up precisely what constitutes a ‘proper volley’, it is time to marvel at Manchester United’s title winner and the Zidane swivel.

We are talking shots hit before they touch the ground, not shots which are struck after the ball has bounced. Them’s the rules.

Edin Dzeko
Playing for Roma, a long-range pass floats into the box over a hapless Chelsea defender who is only there for the money and wasn’t expecting to do anything, let alone be any good. Edin watches it all the way onto his left foot and canes it into the net off his instep with power, like few strikers have done recently for the Chelsea clown show.

Tim Cahill
In a game for Australia against Netherlands, the ball is floated from midfield into the box, 12 yards out and to the left. Tim absolutely leathers it into the net with all the force of an Aussie kicking a pom in the head. Unstoppable. Cue the traditional punching of the corner flag, which is probably a first nation tradition.

Zinedine Zidane
Real Madrid are playing Bayer Leverkusen. They cross the ball. It seems quite innocuous and hardly the most dangerous delivery you’ve seen. It was behind ZZ, but no matter; he swivels half around and volleys it from behind him into the net with unstoppable power. His leg appears double-jointed. He has no right to score.

John McGinn
Britain’s largest football arse hits a volley from about 35 yards against Sheffield Wednesday. It’s hit so hard that it swerves to the right, outside of the post, then curves to the left, inside the post and into the top left postage stamp of the keeper’s goal. That gluteus maximus really put some heft into it.

Robin van Persie
Back when no-one laughed at United and they employed proper footballers who could play, a long pass is hit from just inside the United half towards the Dutchman who receives it just outside the penalty area with an Aston Villa defender in attendance. It looks great in slow motion, which reveals Van Persie watches the ball come in from the right onto his left foot with precision, from where he volleys across the keeper into the bottom left of the net. Take that, tika-taka.

Carlos Ruiz
One from MLS for Chicago Fire v Philadelphia Union. A volley hit from 40 yards. As the ball comes loose, Ruiz catches the goalkeeper a little bit off his line. The ball loops over his head and hits the top of the net and happens so quickly, even though it travels so far, that it catches him totally by surprise.

Andros Townsend
Possibly the only goal Andros has scored by not cutting in from the right and hitting it with his left into the top corner. Playing for Palace against City, the ball is headed clear from a packed defence and comes down in front of him, 35 yards out. He cracks it into the net at speed with his right foot.

Peter Crouch
When playing for Stoke City, he takes the ball on the right corner of the box, flicks it up and in a blizzard of long, skinny legs, volleys a looping ball into the right-hand corner of the net, over the defenders’ heads. Roberto Mancini looks suitably disgusted by this piece of brilliance. Tony Pulis, on the other hand, appears to believe he’s seen a miracle.

Jonjo Shelvey
Football’s Nosferatu collects a loose ball just ahead of the centre circle in a Swansea v Villa game and without hesitation, boots it goalwards by cutting across the ball, sending it up into the air and curving away from the keeper, dropping into the net. It looks brilliant and was the sort of thing that convinced us all that Jonjo was any good when it was actually just a lucky punt from an angry bald man and was the sort of thing that took him to Turkey, on loan from Forest to Caykur Rizespor for 33 games and three goals last season (one from his own half, to be fair).

Jordan Flores
He played for Shamrock Rovers against Dundalk and scored with one of the more remarkable types of volley. The sort where a cross is hit at speed across the penalty box, 12 yards out and he hits it with his left foot raised above his head, volleying it acrobatically with power into the corner of the net. Try getting your foot that high, it’ll hurt.

Johnny Nic