It’s classless of Toni Kroos to laugh at the absurdity of football; he was probably still wearing that t-shirt too, sending a message to Liverpool…
We all like clicks. They pay the bills. But this – on the Mirror website – is absolutely sh*t and they absolutely know it:
‘Toni Kroos mocks Man City after Champions League exit – “a f****** joke!”‘
They are more than happy to give you the impression that Kroos has called Manchester City “a f****** joke”. Actually, it’s not even an impression; that’s pretty much what that headline says. They say ‘Kroos mocks Man City’ and the truth is that he doesn’t. He should sue. If he were Martin O’Neill, he would.
‘Toni Kroos couldn’t help himself from laughing at Manchester City’s remarkable collapse in the dying minutes of a dramatic Champions League semi-final against his Real Madrid.’
Well he could. Because he did. What he was clearly ‘laughing’ at (with the use of emojis) was the absurdity of this Real Madrid side.
‘The German midfield maestro simply tweeted four laughing emojis at the Citizens’ expense…’
Some of that sentence is true.
‘…and then added on Instagram : “This team is a f****** joke.”‘
Odd that the Mirror don’t include said Instagram post in a story entirely about this Instagram post. Well, not odd when you see it…
Still think he was mocking Manchester City?
But why worry about the truth when there are clicks to be garnered from giggling fans of Liverpool and Manchester United?
Top of the classless
And the theme continues in the Manchester Evening News, though the clicks they want are from angry Manchester City fans so…
‘Toni Kroos shares classless response to Real Madrid’s Champions League win over Man City’
He posted some laughing emojis because the football match was absurd; Real Madrid’s run to the final is absurd. He is a 32-year-old man about to play in his fifth Champions League final. Do you really think his instinct is to laugh at Manchester City? Is it f***.
‘Real Madrid star Toni Kroos has posted a truly classless message in response to a devastating comeback from his side that gunned down Manchester City on Wednesday night.’
How dare he enjoy his own team’s victory? The lowest of the low. Scum.
Prepare to succeed
‘Real Madrid were so confident of beating Man City clash they had special shirts designed to celebrate win’ – The Sun.
Why are the media always amazed that clubs prepare for a victory? They BOOKED a bus? They RESERVED hotel rooms? It’s called logistics, guys.
What’s the alternative? A printing press next to the pitch to knock out some shirts at full-time?
And how do you beat a clash? Not sure that’s safe to Google.
To a tee
But really, we know what those t-shirts were. Because this means more clicks. So…
‘Real Madrid send T-shirt message to Liverpool after Man City Champions League comeback’
You might think that Real Madrid were celebrating and looking forward to another Champions League final, but you would be wrong. It was a ‘message’ because everything in football is a ‘message’, and most things are a ‘message to Liverpool’ because clicks.
From the Mirror story:
‘After the game once victory was secured, the Real Madrid players all donned special versions of their home strip personalised with the words “‘All out for” above the number 14. The shirt is in reference to the fact that Los Blancos currently have 13 Champions League titles in their trophy cabinet and now have the chance to add to that tally.
‘This is not the first time the European titans have done this kind of gesture, with all the players wearing shirts that also read “All out for” above the number 13 before the 2018 final in Kiev against Jurgen Klopp’s Reds. The photos sparked outrage among the Liverpool fanbase – many of whom described the stunt as disrespectful.’
Again with the lack of class. Where do these Real Madrid players get off with their celebrations, their laughter and their t-shirts?
The Real story
Where mere mortals think they’ve wrung every conceivable piece of online content out of the latest news story, the Telegraph shows the barrel is never too deep to be scraped. pic.twitter.com/FhZUtj0vmi
— The Sun Apologies (@SunApology) May 5, 2022
Do Ron, Ron Ron
Neil Custis, Sun exclusive, January 2022: ‘CRISTIANO RONALDO is set to leave Manchester United in the summer if the club do not qualify for the Champions League.’
Neil Custis, Sun exclusive, March 2022: ‘CRISTIANO RONALDO’S Manchester United future is in serious doubt after missing Sunday’s derby.’
Neil Custis, Sun exclusive, March 2022: ‘Fuming Cristiano Ronaldo is increasingly intent on quitting Man Utd this summer after holding showdown talks with agent’
Neil Custis, Sun exclusive, May 2022: ‘CRISTIANO RONALDO is now considering quitting Manchester United as their hopes of the top four fade.’
So four months after he was ‘set to leave’, he is ‘now considering quitting’? And two months after he was ‘increasingly intent on quitting’, he is ‘now considering quitting’? Makes perfect sense.
Oddly, Ronaldo was not letting it be known that he might ‘quit’ Manchester United during February when he managed only one goal in nine games, but consistently wants to ‘quit’ when he is actually scoring goals. A coincidence, we are sure.
Also, and we are as bored of writing this as you are of reading it: He has a contract; he can’t just ‘quit’ unless he buys out his contract. So if ‘Old Trafford chiefs know they face a huge fight to keep the superstar’ then they are idiots because he is literally going nowhere unless they choose to sell (and he agrees to go) or he pays his way out of his own contract. He is not in charge here.
Still, we look forward to being exclusively told next month that he is ‘thinking about maybe quitting’ Manchester United. Especially if he ends the season with 20 Premier League goals.