16 – John Bostock (£700,000 rising to £1.25m, from Crystal Palace in 2008)
Lodged between Jack Rodwell and Jonjo Shelvey in The Guardian’s list of ‘England’s 20 future stars’ published in the year he joined, time is running out for the 27-year-old to hold up his end of the international bargain.
17 – Gareth Bale (£5m rising to £10m, from Southampton in 2007)
He came, he didn’t win a Premier League match for bloody ages, he conquered Maicon then he buggered off to have all the fun in Spain. For quite a massive profit.
18 – Jack Clarke (£9.5m, from Leeds in 2019)
If he does as well as the man he replaced (Dele Alli), then all will be grand for Jack Clarke. But first, a loan back to Leeds where he is expected to stay largely on the bench.
19 – Juan Foyth (£8m, from Estudiantes in 2017)
20 – Helder Postiga (£6.25m rising to £8.25m, from Porto in 2003)
Imagine leaving Porto in 2003 to join Glenn Hoddle’s Tottenham, scoring two goals in 24 games before returning to your former club in 2004, thereby missing out on their Champions League victory. Poor Helder.
21 – Davinson Sanchez (£28m rising to £42m, from Ajax in 2017)
The boy has only just been replaced as Tottenham’s club-record signing. Thank the lord that Liverpool were ‘happy’ to ‘let’ him go to north London.
22 – Tanguy Ndombele (£55m, from Lyon in 2019)
Hopefully rather better value than the previous record-holder – Vincent Janssen.
23 – Heung-min Son (£22m, from Bayer Leverkusen in 2015)
That’s more bloody like it. What a disaster it would have been if they’d let him go.
24 – Serge Aurier (£23m, from Paris Saint-Germain in 2017)
Suffering a wrist injury after slamming his fist on a table at half-time of Ivory Coast’s Africa Cup of Nations victory over Mali earlier this month (a match in which he didn’t even play) seems fitting.
25 – Lucas Moura (£23m, from Paris Saint-Germain in 2018)
Is he ‘bemused’ enough by his Champions League final snub to join Liverpool? One suspects Tottenham really would rather keep him.
26 – Roman Pavlyuchenko (£13.8m, from Spartak Moscow in 2008)
He scored thrice for Russia on their journey to the Euro 2008 semi-finals, promptly joined Tottenham, netted in all but one of his eight appearances in domestic cup competitions in his first season, with the League Cup final the only such game he failed to find the mark in. Pavlyuchenko and his 42 goals fared a little better than the second most expensive 26-year-old Sergei Rebrov and his 15.
27 – Moussa Sissoko (£30m, from Newcastle in 2016)
While Rafael van der Vaart (£8m) could not quite displace Dean Richards (£8.1m), Moussa Sissoko blew both out of the water three years ago.
28 – Roberto Soldado (£26m, from Valencia in 2013)
That’s £1.62m per goal in all competitions (and £3.71m in Premier League terms) to you.
29 – Clint Dempsey (£6m, from Fulham in 2012)
That’s £3m per goal against Manchester United to you.
30 – Les Ferdinand (£6m, from Newcastle in 1997)
Scott Parker (£5.5m) came close. Michel Vorm (£3.5m) less so. David Ginola (£2.5m) not at all. G’won, Sir Les.
31 – Gilberto (£2m, from Hertha BSC in 2008)
The greatest north London Gilberto ever cost less than Tottenham’s most expensive 33-year-old (Gus Poyet, £2.2m) but marginally more than their costliest 34-year-old (Nourredine Naybet, £700,000).
32 – Fernando Llorente (£14m, from Swansea in 2017)
That’s a small price to pay for shooting from the hip against Manchester City.