Van Dijk ‘hits back’ at Roy Keane and his ‘rant’ by saying he likes him!

Editor F365
Virgil van Dijk and Roy Keane with Liverpool and Manchester United badges
Virgil van Dijk and Roy Keane with Liverpool and Manchester United badges

And how embarrassed must Mo Salah be after the Liverpool forward had exactly as many shots as Manchester United…


The word ‘rant’ was fast going out of fashion in the 20th century. Look, we have a graph and everything…

The use of the word 'rant'
The use of the word 'rant'

You know what little uptick at the end denotes? Yes, the advent of clickbait. Suddenly the word ‘rant’ has currency because it suggests something angry and uncontrolled that you absolutely need to read now because second only to ‘sex’, anger sells. We want to see people rage and rant and generally lose their sh*t.

The dictionary definition of ‘rant’ is to ‘speak or shout at length in an angry, impassioned way’, while the noun is defined as a ‘tirade’.

Keeping that in mind, does this look like a ‘rant’ to you?

Roy Keane never raises his voice, never loses control; hell, he doesn’t even sit up straight. He’s definitely ‘impassioned’ but he’s not ‘angry’. If anything, he’s disappointed. And we all know that’s worse.

So here come The Sun:

Roy Keane blasts Van Dijk in stunning rant live on Sky Sports after Liverpool star ‘disrespected’ Man Utd in interview

Now it’s a ‘stunning rant’. Except it’s really, really not. It fails on both counts. It’s neither ‘stunning’ nor a ‘rant’. Nor a ‘blast’ to be fair. Though kudos for the ‘live on Sky Sports’ detail which suggests that the channel would have been shocked by such a ‘tirade’.

Keep a lid on it, Roy. Oh, you did.

The Express are also doing their best to send that ‘rant’ graph through the roof:

Roy Keane fumes at ‘arrogant’ Virgil van Dijk for ‘disrespecting’ Man Utd in angry rant

It’s genuinely not angry; it’s a bit ‘arsey’ at worst.

Here’s our favourite paragraph:

He raged: “It is a missed opportunity for them, yes, and we heard Van Dijk speaking there – a bit of arrogance from Van Dijk dissing United, he needs to remind himself he’s playing for a club that’s won one title in 30 odd years.

Because when Mediawatch ‘rages’, we say things like “it is a missed opportunity for them, yes”. And we spout statistics. Really, really angrily.

Over on the Mirror website, we are told that Keane ‘furiously slammed’ Van Dijk. That’s not even misleading; it’s just a lie.

If you worked on the newspaper and had put together this brilliant back page…

…you might well be a bit narked yourself about what was being published in your name.

Elsewhere on the Mirror website, who never knowingly undersell any potential controversy:

Man Utd news LIVE: Ten Hag hits back at Van Dijk, Shearer takes aim at Antony, transfer latest

‘Hits back’? The Mirror themselves say ‘Manchester United boss Erik ten Hag barely batted an eye-lid after being told of Virgil van Dijk’s claim that Liverpool were the only side trying to win at Anfield on Sunday’.

He then said: “This is his opinion.”

Yikes. Cool your jets, Erik.

But there’s ‘hitting back’ and then there’s ‘hitting back’, and Van Dijk really has ‘responded to a criticism or accusation with a strongly worded critical attack’.

We ludicrously expect better of the Daily Telegraph and when we read headlines like ‘Virgil van Dijk hits back at Roy Keane after Liverpool v Man Utd jibe: ‘I am not arrogant’’, we expect that a) Van Dijk has hit back and b) he has said ‘I am not arrogant’.

Neither of those things are true as this is what Van Dijk said when told about Keane’s comments:

“I like Roy Keane, if he said that then it’s fine. He is Man United through and through and I understand he could react like that but I felt what I said and there is absolutely no arrogance in that.”

So he likes him, he thinks what he said was ‘fine’ but claims there is “absolutely no arrogance in” what he said.

So obviously…

‘Virgil van Dijk hits back at Roy Keane’s ‘arrogant’ dig after Manchester United vs Liverpool’ – Manchester Evening News.

‘Virgil van Dijk hits back at Roy Keane’s claims that he ‘disrespected’ Man United, with the Liverpool star insisting that there was ‘no arrogance’ in his post-match comments following their goalless draw at Anfield’ – MailOnline.

It’s a whole load of confected nonsense, but at least we can understand why the media chose to confect such nonsense after a pretty poor game.

This is just weird from the Daily Mail:

He had the same number of shots (six) as Manchester United had in total and created five chances, which is more than Manchester United’s collection of players had in total. But yes, how embarrassing that he ‘failed to score or assist at Anfield for the first time in the Premier League this season’. He must be hiding his head in shame today after that ‘no-show’.