You cannot polish the turd that is VAR; just flush it down the toilet

John Nicholson
VAR display at FA Cup
VAR display at FA Cup

Remember when all those proponents of VAR told us, with absolute certainty, that it would sort out all the controversy in the game. They lied. Remember all those ‘what if…..’ hypothetical situations they made up to justify VAR.

Then when VAR turned out to be terrible, the same people with a straight face told us that VAR was okay, it was the people who operated the system that were at fault. Honestly, how thick do you have to be to say that? Of course it’s the people’s fault; we always knew it would be. You just didn’t listen and you’re still not listening if you’re still blaming the humans.

We knew the problem with VAR was that, like the on-pitch officials, they too make mistakes. We were never saying the camera would lie, but we knew it was still going to come down to humans. It was obvious that we’d still be debating when the ball was played and what constituted handball and offside.

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If you’re not against VAR by now then you are just not trying enough. Yes, it could be better, but that would only bring it back to the standard of refereeing before VAR. There’s a level that cannot be exceeded because people are not perfect. Accept it.

We absolutely knew this would happen. It was so obvious. Pro-VAR people are exactly like people who voted for Brexit and now it’s all turned to shit, they pretended it’s just not been implemented properly. Yeah, I know, there’s a good Brexit, it just goes to a different school. Just like those people can’t accept they were wrong and have made everything worse with a stupid uninformed decision, so the VAR extremists have resorted to drooling over minute offsides which gained no one an advantage, pretending they have corrected a terrible wrong.

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If you’re still in favour given everything we have seen, you have really wrapped your psyche in so many layers of delusion and misunderstanding that you must be very confused as you revel in the ruination of football to satisfy your own over-focused tendencies.

I think there is a small percentage who will never admit or even entertain the idea that they have ruined top-flight football for nothing in return, but many others have admitted they thought it was a good idea but were wrong, including many in the game.

There are those who thought opposition would have melted away by now, but no, it’s only got more voluble, to the extent we have Nottingham Forest stamping their feet and behaving like Violet Elizabeth Bott over VAR decisions, decisions which the system promised would no longer cause controversy. Oops.

Remember it would ‘settle down’, ‘lessons would be learned’, ‘rules would be changed’, ‘laws reinterpreted’, yeah that all came and went to no positive effect. Howard Webb took over and has tried to fix it, but hasn’t. You can’t polish a turd; no amount of pretending it’s not a turd makes any difference. The fact remains the sport cannot be bent to fit VAR’s will. It’s a round peg in a square hole and no matter how hard you push it, it won’t fit.

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Don’t come up with solutions like a limited number of challenges or time, you’re still trying to polish that turd. The only way to make it work is to not use it, then lie to yourself that this new light-touch system is effective.

Until you accept mistakes are occasionally made and any system designed to outlaw that fact is doomed to failure, you will be annoyed. It will never work to your satisfaction, though you feel it should and no system operated and invented by humans will be good enough. You are the problem and you created VAR to solve a problem that only ever existed in your psyche. No wonder it went wrong. You are still demanding a fix and in the process making everything worse. When will you ever learn?

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