Every player who didn’t make the opening day matchday squads

Which players failed to make the matchday squads for their Premier League clubs this weekend, despite being fit and (just about) able? As that implies, those with injuries and suspensions are not included…

ARSENAL

David Ospina – Busy feigning an injury somewhere ahead of a probable move to Premier League goalkeeping graveyard Besiktas.
Emiliano Martinez – Fourth-choice keeper who spent last season on loan at Getafe, where he kept two clean sheets in four La Liga games. Watch out, Petr.
Carl Jenkinson – One of just three namedropped by Unai Emery as players who could still leave this summer. Pack that Arsenal-themed bedroom up.
Konstantinos Mavropanos – A member of Arsenal’s famed central defensive quartet, but was not sacrificed to the Manchester City gods on Sunday.
Danny Welbeck – Yet to make his long-awaited debut as Arsenal’s new left-back.
Joel Campbell – Still unfathomably exists.

BOURNEMOUTH

Jack Simpson – Eddie Howe has said he would be “reluctant” to lose Jack Simpson to Rangers as he has “a streamlined squad”. But there was no room for him against Cardiff.
Jefferson Lerma – Followed a busy World Cup with a hectic summer at club level. Will grace the Premier League with his £25m presence soon.
Marc Pugh – Bournemouth’s longest-serving player has still played more games for the club in League One (123) and the Championship (84) than in the Premier League (67).

BRIGHTON

Jason Steele – Traded a role as Sunderland’s second-choice keeper to sit third in Brighton’s pecking order.
Martín Montoya – He’s coming for you, Bruno. Just give him a minute.
Ezequiel Schelotto – After joining on deadline day last summer, he failed to make just one of the subsequent 35 Premier League matchday squads in 2017/18. The book of Ezequiel suggests he’ll be back.
Markus Suttner – Played 13 Premier League games last season, apparently. We demand proof.
Mathias Normann – Will surely be loaned out before the transfer window closes on his little Norwegian fingers.
Richie Towell – Has played one league game for the club since joining in November 2015. Like all good things in life, it lasted six minutes, occurred on a Tuesday evening in March 2017 at Rotherham and included a used Towell.
Tomer Hemed – Lost his No.10 shirt to Florin Andone, despite the fact that no player scored more goals for Brighton in pre-season. It’s like it all meant nothing.
Percy Tau – Chris Hughton has absolutely no respect for the Premier League’s first ever Percy.

BURNLEY

Anders Lindegaard – Had the prior engagement of sticking pins into his Joe Hart voodoo doll.
Adam Legzdins – The lesser-spotted example of a fifth-choice goalkeeper.
Kevin Long – First-team chances short.
Aiden O’Neill – Is set to link up with Usain Bolt at Central Coast Mariners. There’s one to tell the grandchildren.
Matej Vydra – Played 90 minutes for the Under 23s instead, scoring in a 4-1 win over Cardiff.
Nahki Wells – Was expected to be included in the deal that saw Vydra join from Derby, but is still hanging around Turf Moor like a £5m bad smell.

CARDIFF

Brian Murphy – Third-choice keeper.
Matthew Connolly – Has been named in Cardiff’s 25-man Premier League squad, but not in the 18 that travelled to Bournemouth.
Loïc Damour – It turns out Neil Warnock has assembled too many central midfielders.
Stuart O’Keefe – Far too many.
Kadeem Harris – Played just three games in their promotion-winning season, so he’s well on course.
Lee Tomlin – Did you really think Lee Tomlin was going to play in the Premier League?
Anthony Pilkington – Will likely leave on loan after being omitted from Warnock’s first-team plans.
Rhys Healey – Scored six goals in eight games on loan at Torquay last season, so expect him to find another temporary home.

CHELSEA

Rob Green – Surprisingly dropped in favour of nominative determinism.
Emerson – Antonio Conte never really wanted him, and Maurizio Sarri probably doesn’t either.
Gary Cahill – Was surely in charge of the team bus seating plan and dressing room playlist.
Tomas Kalas – Spent two years on loan at Middlesbrough before heading to Fulham for a couple more. Will retake his place in the WhatsApp group sooner rather than later.
Ethan Ampadu – When does the Carabao Cup start again for Premier League clubs?
Michael Hector – Remember when Chelsea responded to Jose Mourinho’s complaints about transfers by signing Papy Djilobodji and Michael Hector? Ed Woodward has plenty still to learn.
Kenneth Omeruo – Wanted by Leganes and Bursaspor, the lucky pup.
Ola Aina – Will be joining Torino on loan soon. F***, Chelsea have too many players.
Mateo Kovacic – Only joined last Thursday, but immediately jumped ahead of plenty of players in the midfield queue.
Danny Drinkwater – Speak of the former Red Devil. He remains at Chelsea due only to his wages and the fact they have yet to accept they will recoup nowhere near their initial £35m outlay. The closure of the Premier League transfer window has severely limited his options, of which actually playing for Chelsea is not one.
Charly Musonda Jr. – Was last seen helping scupper Brendan Rodgers’ chances of ever managing Chelsea. So is probably a hero at Stamford Bridge.
Tammy Abraham – We have triple-checked about 427 times, but he has definitely not been loaned out. Yet.
Lucas Piazón – It’s Fulham or nothing, unfortunately.

CRYSTAL PALACE

Julián Speroni – Signed a new one-year deal in the summer and is now the Premier League’s longest-serving current player. But is still third-choice keeper.
Ryan Inniss – At the age of 23, he is yet to make his Crystal Palace debut.
Max Meyer – Still getting to grips with his new role as Meyer of London.
Jonathan Williams – Last played for Palace in January 2016, when it was still acceptable to call him ‘Jonny’. You’re 24 now, Jonathan.
Jordan Ayew – Did only join on deadline day, so we’ll let him off.
Sullay Kaikai – As sad as it is, a seventh loan spell could be on the horizon.

EVERTON

Mateusz Hewelt – Bless you.
Yerry Mina – Either signed a little too late to be considered for selection, or just didn’t fancy a trip to Wolverhampton. Difficult to say.
Kurt Zouma – Might already have been weighed down by inheriting the No.5 shirt from Ashley Williams, John Stones, Samuel Eto’o and Johnny Heitinga.
Jonjoe Kenny – Not good enough to dislodge Seamus Coleman, but might just edge Cuco Martina.
Cuco Martina – Sorry mate.
Brendan Galloway – Not been the same since he joined Tony Pulis on loan at West Brom.
Tyias Browning – His last Premier League appearance came in Brendan Rodgers’ final game as Liverpool manager. It’s all your fault, fella.
Matthew Pennington – Is behind an actual piece of toffee in the central defensive pecking order.
Nikola Vlasic – CSKA Moscow most certainly want him.
Muhamed Besic – Middlesbrough most certainly wanted him.
Yannick Bolasie – Read above
Kieran Dowell – Signed a new three-year contract alongside Callum Connolly earlier this month, with his teammate joining Wigan on loan immediately after. Still no word on his own future, mind.
Bernard – Watch this space, for he will be coming to a Premier League pitch near you soon.
Ademola Lookman – “He is our present and our future. Now he has to fight for his position,” said Marco Silva earlier this month. So yeah.

FULHAM

André-Frank Zambo Anguissa – A true Football Manager signing that was apparently discovered when assistant director of football operations Frank Talbot put in a simple search for a midfielder aged 25 or under with speed and power. Jay Spearing was unfortunate to miss out.
Rui Fonte – Played for Arsenal that one time. Rarely for Fulham, mind.

HUDDERSFIELD

Erik Durm – David Wagner insisted the defender “has looked good” in training, but such a fragile boy must be handled with care.
Juninho Bacuna – Yet to even start catching up with older brother Leandro in terms of Premier League experience.
Abdelhamid Sabiri – An early victim of both the competition provided by a summer of spending and the more conservative tactics deployed against Chelsea.
Elias Kachunga – As above.
Isaac Mbenza – And again.
Collin Quaner – Once more.

LEICESTER

Eldin Jakupovic – He was really good that one year.
Filip Benkovic – Rocked up to the party a little too late.
Danny Simpson – Left out in favour of Daniel Amartey, who proceeded to play basketball within two minutes.
Yohan Benalouane – Still ruing the fact he was once one appearance away from claiming a Premier League winner’s medal.
Nampalys Mendy – Is a very generous fifth in the central midfield queue.
Andy King – Is an even more generous sixth.
Hamza Choudhury – Could even be ahead of the aforementioned two due to Claude Puel’s favouring of youngsters. But still just as far away from the first team.
Bartosz Kapustka – Signed by Claudio, isolated by Craig, ignored by Claude. Messrs Ranieri, Shakespeare and Puel can’t all be wrong, surely?
Fousseni Diabaté – Too bloody good and too bloody young not to feature sooner rather than later.

LIVERPOOL

Simon Mignolet – Third-choice keeper. Possibly.
Alberto Moreno – Started on the opening day last season, before being lapped about 30 times by Andy Robertson.
Connor Randall – Was on the bench for Jurgen Klopp’s first game as Liverpool manager. Has rarely been seen since.
Marko Grujic – Fighting (and losing to) too many players in central midfield to stick around.
Divock Origi – Still at Anfield for now,  although Fenerbahce are circling.
Dominic Solanke – Has fallen behind Daniel Sturridge in the running to come on for the final ten minutes of any given match, but is still just 20.
Lazar Markovic – Cost £20m that one time.
Sheyi Ojo – “The ideal scenario is always to stay and fight for your spot, but I’ve got to make a decision based on my career, on my football.” The Championship surely beckons.

MANCHESTER CITY

Eliaquim Mangala – He will surely be heading out soon.
Jason Denayer – Might a return to Celtic be on the cards?
David Silva – There are unconfirmed reports of an injury, but he probably just fancied a rest. Or maybe he’s off to Millwall on loan?
Fabian Delph – Is this the season it is discovered that he is actually a fine striker too?
Oleksandr Zinchenko – Turned down a move to Wolves. But why?
Brahim Díaz – The club obviously want to loan him out to Girona. The player would much rather stay and fight for limited opportunities.
Douglas Luiz – Coming over here, not being able to get a work permit.
Patrick Roberts – An obvious imminent move to Girona will make him La Liga’s first Englishman since Grimsby legend Charlie I’Anson.
Daniel Arzani – Won’t be staying.

MANCHESTER UNITED

Phil Jones – Could have been out with a gurn strain, but Jose Mourinho never mentioned it.
Jesse Lingard – We’d still be celebrating if we ever scored at a World Cup, too.

NEWCASTLE

Rob Elliot – Third-choice keeper.
Freddie Woodman – Fourth-choice keeper.
Federico Fernández – Might actually have been signed to work at House of Fraser.
Achraf Lazaar – Has somehow ended up as one of the club’s only actual left-backs, yet still nowhere close to playing.
Isaac Hayden – Wants to move back south to be closer to his family.
Henri Saivet – Busy being brilliant on Football Manager 2008.
Jacob Murphy – Rafael Benitez will have his reasons.
Rolando Aarons – We did say.

SOUTHAMPTON

Fraser Forster – And I’m free, free fallin’. Yeah I’m free, free fallin’.
Jack Rose – Insert Titanic joke here. But also: fourth-choice keeper.
Maya Yoshida – He’ll be back. He always is. The new boy’s lustre won’t last long.
Matt Targett – Recovering from the news that Fulham bid £15m to sign him.
Steven Davis – Not started since January due to injury and the fact he is actually now 83 years old.
Harrison Reed – But Harrison does not play.
Sam McQueen – At the centre of the most uninspiring tug of war between Aston Villa and Bristol City.
Shane Long – Was overlooked despite scoring two goals in 30 Premier League games last season. Or because of. Yeah, maybe that.
Sam Gallagher – It’s not a good time to be a non-goalscoring Southampton striker.
Josh Sims – Has been sadly lost in a sea of midfielders.

TOTTENHAM

Paulo Gazzaniga – Has still kept a clean sheet in every match he has played for Tottenham.
Kieran Trippier – Mauricio Pochettino said “nobody is injured”. Kieran Trippier, much like the rest of the nation, is probably still just recovering from that free-kick.
Danny Rose – PSG, Schalke or a battle with Ben Davies. Pick your poison.
Cameron Carter-Vickers – Time for another loan spell.
Josh Onomah – Was referred to as “part of our plans” by the manager in July. Let’s wait and see.
Vincent Janssen – Finished last season with more fouls than touches in the Premier League. Islam Slimani’s move to Fenerbahce does not bode well.
Georges-Kevin N’Koudou – Will be loaned out again after that underwhelming Burnley spell.

WATFORD

Pontus Dahlberg – Third-choice keeper.
Miguel Britos – Watford have about eight centre-halves, and apparently no room for one who has just turned 33.
Marvin Zeegelaar – Couldn’t pick him out of a line-up if he was even anywhere near one.
Dimitri Foulquier – “I must make another transfer or take in another loan,” apparently.
Marc Navarro – Will eventually play after his “mystifying” sale.
Brice Dja Djédjé – Signed in summer 2016, yet to make his Premier League debut, and will surely complete a hat-trick of 25-man squad omissions next month.
Stefano Okaka – Wanted by Bursaspor and Real Valladolid. But not Watford.
Adalberto Peñaranda – “I think all the players are going to stay with us and I do not think this player is going to go out loan,” says Javi Gracia of a forward who really could be very good. But those work permit issues need sorting…

WEST HAM

Aaron Cresswell – Returned to pre-season “a little bit later than I’d hoped”.
Reece Oxford – Not good enough for West Ham, but very much is for a clutch of Bundesliga clubs.
Carlos Sánchez – Will be picking up yellow and red cards for fun soon.
Josh Cullen – Time for another loan.
Lucas Pérez – Might not have made a great deal of difference at Anfield, although his positioning can’t have been much worse than Angelo Ogbonna’s.

WOLVES

Will Norris – Third-choice keeper.
Danny Batth – In his fourth Premier League season as a Wolves player, and still yet to make his first top-flight appearance.
Leander Dendoncker – Give him a chance.
Adama Traoré – And him.