Who do Arsenal/Jeremy Corbyn think they are?

Seb Stafford Bloor

Period of reflection
Combine two trending news stories in the same opinion piece and you should have a winner. Martin Samuel certainly thinks so, with this contender for intro of the day in the Daily Mail.

‘It is rather fitting that Jeremy Corbyn is a supporter of Arsenal. He’s deluded, they’re deluded. They’re made for each other, really. Corbyn steered Labour to their worst election defeat since the 1930s, lost seats that were considered winnable by a glove puppet with a red rosette, yet continues to believe he carried the political argument.’

Magic Granddad probably did have some interesting plans for Samuel’s salary, so no great surprise that the big man wasn’t a fan, but you get the sense that he was tapping that Corbyn theme irrespective of what subject his column landed on this week. It’s been five days since the election, Martin. Five days.

Mediawatch is obviously aware that there are many, many bad takes concerning Arteta, we’ll get to some of those later, but Samuel seems particularly irked by Arsenal’s determination to follow some sort of procedure.

‘If Arteta is the man, why does it require further meetings at all? Is Kroenke ticking boxes, or could he still take against Arteta at this late stage and begin the search again? If so, what has been achieved beyond the ruination of Arteta’s relationship with his employers? And who do Arsenal think they are?’

What? Arsenal are the probably the easiest target in the whole of English football at the moment, so how are we criticising them for ushering a potential new appointment through an interview process? Isn’t this one of those situations in which if the opposite happened, if they’d handed him a contract sight unseen and with the cavalier insistence that it would all just probably work out, then that would be more of a story.

‘It is said Arsenal were planning to meet other candidates this week. Yet how did they imagine this process would work? If Arteta was no more than one name in a notebook, where could it leave him, or other contenders?’

But that’s how jobs work, Martin. Except perhaps in football journalism, where somebody just offering to double your money for an unadvertised job is pretty commonplace.

AND WHAT DOES JEREMY CORBYN HAVE TO DO WITH IT?

 

All I want for Christmas is…you
We can’t quibble with Daily Mirror man John Cross urging Arsenal to be aggressive in their pursuit of a new full-time coach or his insinuation that certain mistakes were made 18 months ago prior to the appointment of Unai Emery. He’s absolutely right. But, like many others, he has a strange faith in Mike Arteta based on…not very much.

‘Mikel Arteta was just days away from getting the Arsenal job in 2018 – and they must not let him slip away again. Arteta, 37, represents the perfect choice for Arsenal despite it being one of the most challenging and difficult times in the club’s recent history.

‘But that is also why they must think outside of the box, go young, be innovative, go with an outstanding coach and go with someone who has strong links to Arsenal and understands the club’s DNA.’

It’s like a mind trick, this. We’re not saying that Arteta isn’t an excellent coach – his relationship with Pep Guardiola confirms otherwise – but what is the basis for this assumption that he’s destined to be special? Interesting? No doubt. Worth keeping track on over the next couple of years? Absolutely. But someone that a club of Arsenal’s standing would regret not appointing straight out of the gate? It’s bizarre.

Arteta is ‘young’, that’s fair, but where does his reputation for innovation come from? From helping Guardiola coach a variant of the game with which he’s been successful for a decade?

 

POG-back to this again
Paul Pogba should be returning from injury soon, so expect the vein in Graeme Souness’s neck to start throbbing and, unfortunately, lots more of this kind of thing.

The Mirror are upset. Ole Gunnar Solksjaer reported on Sunday that Pogba’s comeback has been delayed by illness, and David Anderson isn’t having any of it.

‘Despite his illness, Pogba was still able to celebrate his brother Florentin’s wedding back home in France on Friday. The midfielder appeared to be fit and in good health in social media footage of him dancing with his brothers.’

Right, here’s the problem: when players get ill, football clubs often discourage them from coming to training for fear that they might infect other members of the squad. That’s particularly true during congested periods of the season, especially if the player in question isn’t available for selection anyway.

In fact, that’s generally true in most offices at this time of year. Nobody likes the brave, Lemsip soldier, who makes a big show of coming in, coughing all over everyone and spreading his Black Death through the various departments.  That guy’s a pain; we all know someone like that.

So there’s no ‘despite his illness’ about Pogba’s situation. It’s also HIS BROTHER’S WEDDING, so he a) would need a bloody good excuse not to be there and b) would look a bit precious if he sat sulking in the corner because of a runny nose and a cough.

Shall we stop this? It’s gratuitous and repetitive.

 

Liverpool propaganda of the day
This modern phenomenon horrifies and fascinates Mediawatch in (just about) equal measure.

Over to Liverpool.com for today’s hard dose:

‘Why Man City and Leicester have provided a no lose situation for Liverpool this week’

The Eureka moment seems to have come when someone in the office realised that Manchester City and Leicester are behind Liverpool in the Premier League table and that, by a strange quirk of the fixture list, they play each other on Saturday evening.

‘It will be a stern test for both teams next week, and after Brendan Rodgers’ men dropped unexpected points to Norwich this weekend, another week without a win may prove a test of their credentials they don’t pass.’

MW might be being mean-spirited, because it’s probably a younger, intern-type being tasked with writing this stuff, but…come on…let’s fill in the gaps between the keywords too.

‘The reality is Liverpool can focus on the task in hand next week without having the worry of either of the chasing pack making relative ground on them. Whatever the result next week, it is a no-lose situation for Jürgen Klopp’s men in their hunt for long-awaited Premier League success.’

Why does it have to be this way? Liverpool are really good – brilliant in fact – so why the need for these daily Pravda bulletins?

 

Liverpool propaganda of the day (runner-up)
‘Huge advantage for Liverpool being at home in Champions League second leg against Atletico Madrid’ – Liverpool Echo

Because statistically, teams who play away in… oh, you know what they’ve done.

‘There have been 278 two-leg knockout ties since the Champions League was rebranded in 1992/93. A total of 167 of those (60%) saw the team who played at home in the second leg go through to the next round.’

Alternatively, you could have written about the difficulties facing Atletico Madrid. Diego Simeone has had to rebuild his defence entirely, Joao Felix hasn’t hit the ground running after his huge transfer and Alvaro Morata certainly isn’t Diego Costa, who continues to struggle with injury. Isn’t that the real MASSIVE ADVANTAGE for Liverpool?

 

Headline of the day
‘Kevin roams Arsenal’s home alone in his own stratosphere.’

Niiiiice from The Independent‘s subs.

 

Recommended reading
The Guardian’s 100 Best Players in the World (100-71)