Who would you actually want your club to spend £300m on?

Date published: Sunday 14th July 2019 11:11

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Leave to Stew
OK Stewie,

We all get it, y​ou don’t like Arsene Wenger and have made that abundantly clear in literally every email you have ever sent to the hollowed pages of F365 but geez, give it a rest, please. He hasn’t been Arsenal’s manager now for 12 months and yet every email from you contains a dig at him. Did he slight you in some way? Did he smash your face into a car windshiled and then took your mother Louis, out for a nice steak dinner only to never call her again afterwards? I just don’t get it, for the love of all that is holy, Let. It. Go.
Andy West CTID


I wonder…
…if Stewie will still be blaming Wenger for everything that goes wrong at Arsenal 427 months after his departure?
James, Kent.



Stewie, great evisceration of the Arsenal squad constructed by the phoney Arsene Wenger. You have laid bare what rubbish we have been left with.

Now it’s so clear what the problem is, what’s the solution?


Cech, mate
Now after reading Stewie Griffin’s mail from Friday I get the impression he just really doesn’t like Arsenal or their entire squad, but I felt the need to correct a point he brought up about Petr Cech.

First of all he was sold to Arsenal out of good faith, Thibaut Courtois was clearly Chelsea’s first team keeper for the present and future, Petr Cech was far to good to just be a back up keeper and still was a top class player, he had also given his all for Chelsea and was loved by both the fans and Roman due to his achievements at the club, at the time he had a very young family that were settled in London and after clear the air talks it was sanctioned by Roman that he could join Arsenal, Jose Mourinho was not willing at all to sell to a rival team, this was brought up many a time by him, let’s not forget that during his debut season Petr Cech picked up the Golden Glove for the most clean sheets in the Premier League, he had a solid campaign, also lifting the FA Cup.
Mikey, CFC (Petr Cech is arguably the greatest keeper of the Premier League era)


Sake, Arsene
Other things Arsene Wenger can be blamed for.

Global warming
Love Island
Piers Morgan
The Star Wars prequels
Bruce Dickinson leaving Iron Maiden in the early 90s
The X Factor
Donald Trump getting elected.
New Transformers movies
Falling on your keys
That girl/boy you like not liking you back

Give it a rest man, go support someone else or stop watching football all together and enjoy your life.
Graham Simons, Gooner, Norf London


How would you spend £300m?
Imagine this! The club you support has just made you Director of Footbal and handed you a kitty of 300 m GBP net spend to revamp the squad. Who would you buy and sell and what would be your first 11?

– Only allowed players that are actually available and your club has a shot at getting. Messi for instance is going nowhere nor is De Jong going to United so can’t be included in your transfer business even if you buy just one player for 300 m.
– You can not buy more than 1 player from any club.
– Any player that was brought by another club this window, cannot be bought by your club,
– The business your club has already done this window counts towards your transfer spending and cannot be sold.
–  Use as most realistic values as possible based on latest transfer rumors.
– Add ons are included in costs

Se here’s my United business:
RB: Bisaka (50 m – club buy)
Winger: Daniel James (20 m – club buy)
CB: Alderweild (28 m) – They clearly need someone with experience. Maguire is not that level yet to induce calm in defense while Kalidou, my first choice, does not seem available.
CM: Milinkovic-Savic (75 m) – What United lack most is a replacement for Matic. However, there are no top quality defensive central midfielders so we get Savic instead (who is used to a more attacking role) and hope that he is good enough defensively.
AM: Bruno Fernandes (62 m) – Debated about getting Eriksen but Fernandes has better scoring record which United need. Also, there are not many rumors linking United with Eriksen suggesting that he is not interested anyway..

Winger: Nicolas Pepe (60 m) I wold have prioritized signing a strike but none are available that have proving scoring prowess so Lukaku stays another year. United also need wingers who can score. Daniel James is still too young and Pepe is someone who can add goals to the squad immediately.

Total spending: 295 million. (We offer 2 million bonus for the striker who gets 20+ goals and 3 million bonus for any other player who does the same.)


Klopp that
Watching the meltdown on sh*t media outlets(I am looking at you S#N) regarding Liverpool’s transfer spree, it got me thinking if Klopp was having another go at his initial vision for Liverpool first 11. Young, hungry players who would follow his instructions to the word.

Remember when he gave Mignolet a 5 year contract? Or backing Lovren, Moreno and blooding youngsters like Ibe, Brannagan, etc. Upon finding that none of his players could deliver, he tweaked and went for high quality talent and improved them to win us a trophy. Now with enormous Goodwill in the bank and more support, I believe he will go for initial strategy again. The difference this time is the world class talent like Van Dijk, Salah, Mane, Fabinho, Alisson and Firmino to look up to. Training and competing with them and most importantly, being in an environment where a trophy has been won, pressure is off but the hunger to win the league remains,

Klopp has a chance of succeding this time around. Hoping to see the academy come to the fore.
Vikas, LFC, India(Lamps at Chelsea makes me excited to see the kids shine)


Kitted out
Just want to say, love the article on the new kit BS! All of a sudden excited for the season to start, and to see United down 1-0 at home to Crystal Palace.
Henry, LFC, Köln


Neymar nails
Who could’ve predicted Neymar’s Paris dreams would’ve turned sour after a couple of season? Almost every fan, pundit and casual observer. Who could’ve seen that his monster valuation would make finding his next potential suitors a next to impossible task? Definitely not Neymar.

You have to question his mentality and the advice of his team who convinced him that taking 200m from PSG to buy out his own contract was a great career move. Even if he did want to get out of Messi’s shadow (which is understandable), the way he carried out his initial transfer should’ve been a red flag for PSG themselves. The best move for Neymar at that time would’ve been to wait around for another season or two to run down as much of his contract as he could and secure a move to another European powerhouse (Madrid were going to be losing CR7 soon at that point, he could’ve just waited it out). But no, Neymar had to pine and throw his toys out and we’ve reached this point where PSG want him gone, Neymar wants to go but there’s no club in the world that can justify putting up 200m (or more reportedly), and matching the astronomical wages of a 27 year old, injury prone player, with well known attitude issues.

At this point, for Barcelona it would be madness to even pursue Neymar. I understand how they might be looking for Messi’s long term heir, but that definitely ain’t Neymar. Griezmann would cost them less than half, is around the same age as Neymar and would have less of a toxic effect on the dressing room.

In the end, it is a shame that we will never see Neymar live up to his potential. The only player in this generation who could even come close to CR7 and Messi in terms of ability will never reach those lofty heights.
Yash, MUFC (Can’t forget his performance in the Barca vs PSG comeback, one of the standouts in CL in the past 5 years)


Rapi-no thanks
Rolled my eyes at Johnny’s predictable Hero of Week article. I am pleased that the semis and final of the tournament were well supported and I genuinely hope that more girls are encouraged to start up the game as a result and grow the sport. The call for equal pay is more than a bit ridiculous right now given that anyone in any occupation is paid a proportion of the money that they generate for whoever they work for, and currently the women’s game generates next to no money in comparison to the men’s game (maybe that will change one day, and if so absolutely there should be equal pay).

However, I am sick of the likes of Johnny’s self indulgent ‘right on’ nonsense. There appears to be a fiercely fought race to see who can be most ‘woke’ when it comes to the WWC. It’s not enough to just enjoy the games and hope that the women’s game gains more support in future. No, we must scream about it until we appear rabid to prove how right on we are, and most importantly anyone who simply didn’t care to watch any games needs to be cast out and labeled a sexist and misogynist. Utter garbage. Most football fans, and the public in general, didn’t want to watch all the WWC games. 99% of those people are neither sexist nor misogynistic.

Incidentally, and I hate to go all political on your a$&, but this is the same reason it will be at least 2 more terms before the Democrats get back in power in the US. Trump is a lying embarrassment of a man, but anyone who has watched the Democratic primaries know he will win the next election in a landslide. Why? Because the Democrats are so desperate to be seen as ‘right on’ and ‘woke’ (like JN recently) that they are racing each other to see who can get furthest down into the deepest darkest left where not even your run of the mill liberal can follow them. While everyone in the US worries about national security, the economy, universal healthcare and a sane immigration policy, they only talk about whether there is a third gender and constantly play identity politics. They’ve totally lost sight of the big picture of what is best for everyone. It’s depressing as it means we’re stuck with the orange man for another 4 excruciating years.

The condescending (to the players) and aggressive condemnation and outing of anyone who dared not to watch all the WWC games, risks doing the same harm to the women’s game. By being so aggressively high and mighty they risk turning those of us with best wishes and intentions for all women’s sport into people who resent being screamed at and labelled as sexist by loonies and as a result end up feeling the opposite.
Mike (already sighing at the self righteous responses from fellow readers who now feel the need to scream insults to prove how right on they are) WHU


A complete b*stard XI
Okay I thought with all the disappointing, over achieving 11s I thought I would give you my complete bastard 11. 3-4-3

Keeper – Harold Schumacher – after his assault on Battiston he commented, so what I’ll pay for his dental work (bastard)
Centre half – Ryan Shawcross – Mistimed was the word used, dirty as f*ck is what Arsenal fans said (Industrial bastard)
Centre half – Martin Keown – That assault on Ruud Van, the industrial defending whatever the cost (Ugly bastard)
Centre half – Sergio Ramos – The fact he can actually play doesn’t take away the fact he’s a right dirty bugger (Sangria supping bastard)
Centre mid – Nigel de Jong – just for that assault on poor Xavi Alonso in the World Cup final (red card avoiding bastard)
Centre Mid – Roy Keane – the ball was there, at least I think it was, take that you c*nt, no-one accuses me of a fake injury (my bastard)
Centre Mid – Patrick Viera – Rolls Royce midfielder with a nasty streak including kicks and stamps (French bastard)
Defensive Mid – Graham Souness – the stamp on the poor fellas ball sack then complaining he caught his thigh, presumably with a flying bollock (Scouse bastard)
Left side forward – Alan Shearer – sneaky elbows, the volley of Lennon’s head then the strop afterwards (Sneaky bastard)
Centre forward – Eric Cantona – Where to start? the fan, the stamp on Moncour, the two footed launch in France (King bastard)
Right side forward – Diego Costa – Elbows, sneaky kicks, stamps, grabs, pulls (Snide bastard)

So there you go, Honorable mentions to Pepe (mad bastard), Joey Barton (criminal bastard) and Duncan Ferguson (Hard bastard)
Paul Murphy, Manchester (feeling a lot better thanks)


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