Why are Liverpool fans so f*cking joyless?

Date published: Tuesday 19th March 2019 2:59

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Don’t worry, be happy
Micki’s fumbling take-down of City’s potential quadruple was fun, wasn’t it? A couple of questions have arisen though. Where were Wolves at the time of knocking out their victims? Top 7? Or are you taking advantage of current circumstances to make flimsy claims? It’s okay, I think I know the answer. The key thing here is context. Should City manage it, it should be regarded as a remarkable achievement in the context of historical footballing successes.

However, it should be dismissed entirely as anything other than a basic achievement when viewed in in the context of being a Liverpool supporter, and therefore existing in a fantasy land of farcical opinion and complete and utter bulls**t. Only one of these hilarious maniacs could actually put time into dismissing an unparalleled achievement that hasn’t actually happened yet. You’re actually in a title race for the first time since shell suits were in fashion (everywhere else, that is) and you’re so f**king joyless about it. So bloody scared of not winning that you tie yourselves in knots explaining why you don’t think you’ll win, you have no chance, just glad to be there, yet still need to drag everyone else down with you.

It’s bleak, sad, and a horrible example of how to support your team. Your support is tainted by your own fears of failing to do something you haven’t actually done for decades. There are many, many reasons that most of football is actively rooting against you, even thought that means supporting an team funded by a hateful and horrendous regime. The Khmer Rouge could roll out an XI and we’d still prefer them to win the league. And it is entirely because of the fans. We know you don’t care. You have every right not to. But can you at least get enough self awareness to stop the likes of Micki? Because every time one of your blithering mob pipes up with a critique of City, United, or any other team, it just acts as a reminder of the sheer madness of Liverpool fans, and how far they will go in the name of their club. Let’s all be glad that Adam Johnson didn’t play for them, because you know what would have happened.


Asterisks everwhere
I don’t think I’ve seen many City fans claiming that we’ve had the hardest of runs in the cups, but likewise have seen many fans of other clubs trying to diminish something that hasn’t even, and might not have happened. Are they that worried? Either it’s these titles have an ‘asterisk’ or these titles weren’t achieved the ‘right’ way. Both ludicrous assessments.

To begin with if the asterisk argument holds true, then Arsenals titles in the mid 90’s are asterisked due to Danny Fiszman’s financial injection, so is Chelsea’s success with Matthew Harding and later with Abramovic. Jack Walkers Blackburn? Asterisked. The Littlewoods funded Liverpool? Asterisked. United with all there external investment over the years? You better believe that’s an asterisk.

It is tired. Extremely tired.

And now on to some of the other whoppers. Apparently the result in the final against Chelsea isn’t a win, because it was only on penalties? Try telling a Liverpool fan that they didn’t ‘win’ the Champions League in 2005 and tell me what they say. Laughable in the extreme.

I’m not going to argue against the fact that in both domestic cups we have received favourable draws. There is no denying that. But it is still an achievement. The fact that we have maintained the rage in the league whilst also going the distance in the cups is an achievement. Playing all those extra games and still competing cross all competitions regardless of the standard of the opposition is an achievement. The fact is, some of these teams that we’re expected to beat have been some of the better teams we’ve played, and have taken the game to us. What does that say about some of our more fancied opponents?

Whilst the domestic cup draws have been favourable, I disagree with the assessment that in the Champions League City has been lucky. The team earned that luck. By winning the league the year before, you know that one that City broke all those records for? How did City end up with Schalke in the next round? Maybe had something to do with actually winning the group? Something the other English teams failed to do. City lost once. Liverpool, Spurs and United lost a combined 7 times in the groups. We earned an easier draw. Maybe if Liverpool, Spurs and United won their groups that would have meant City could have drawn Barca, Juve or PSG in the next round? Food for thought…
Martin Todoroski, MCFC


…Sorry, but where has the idea that, teams beating teams of perceived lesser quality to win a competition is reason to question/diminish said win, come from?
I don’t remember in previous years any single/double/treble/quadruple attempt being spoken of in this way; but in the last few mailboxes the idea is very much rife.

Micki Attridge today questions Manchester City’s possible quadruple , due to the fact that they have beaten teams one might expect them to beat.
Besides ignoring the obvious factors of how dealing with expectation and pressure is a commendable achievement of itself, where does one draw the line of who is expected to beat who?
Liverpool and Man City have been and are the best two teams in England, in arguably the best league in the world. With the exception of Barcelona, there is probably not a team in the world that either of them would not be expected to beat right now. So by that metric, would Liverpool have under-performed by not making the final of the League Cup and FA Cup, and will fail if they don’t make it to the semi final of the Champions League (only because they got Barcelona on their side of the draw – otherwise they should be in the final)?
Or is money the metric? Manchester Utd being the richest club in the world; should it be that they have under-performed in all competitions (expect the Champions League so far) and Man City are actually overachieving?
Real Madrid won the last three Champions Leagues beating only Barcelona (in the semi final in 2017) who you would not say outright that you expect them to beat (yet they won the league as well that year so maybe you would have expected that). Does this mean it wasn’t as an amazing achievement as it was because they were expected to beat all the teams?

There are X number of teams every year trying to win a small number of competitions. To win one (let alone a number of them) is a fantastic achievement.
It is the whole foundation on what competitive sport operates.
To question or belittle the victors achievement based on the opposition is a disservice and insult to both sets of players, the sport and competition as a whole.

Every year teams face teams they are expected to beat and every year these teams lose. If Man City do win the quadruple, they have done what very few have done, and not lost these games. Their achievements should not be questioned because of it, but commended.
Conor (got away from me), London


…Mikki Attridge in the Mailbox asked who City have been supposed to lose to in the cups.

Looking at Man United’s draws last season – who were they supposed to lose to?

FA Cup: Derby, Yeovil, Huddersfield, Brighton, Spurs, Chelsea

League Cup: Burton, Swansea, Bristol City

Europe: CSKA Moscow, Benfica, Basel, Sevilla

Yet they managed to win nothing.
Gav, Edinburgh


…Pub bore mails like Micki Attridge’s this morning always give me a chuckle – the ‘ignore any argument that doesn’t support my thesis’ email is a fun trigger.

City have surely had some easy cup runs, no quibble. But ignoring the future (three trophies still to be decided, after all) and the league, where Micki seems to have forgotten that City have to play everyone, even the tricky sides, is comedy. In a top six mini-league, City are top by a mile, having only dropped four points out of a possible 24; Liverpool have dropped 11 out of 24, Spurs 17 out of 24, Arsenal 19 out of 30. It’s not even bloody close. That’s without even thinking about the Champions League, where an easier road to date gives way to a path to winning that most likely runs through Tottenham, Juventus and Barcelona or Liverpool.

Pooh-pooh City all you want for spending obscene money to buy success (even if that success is by no means guaranteed – Wigan’s FA Cup record against City is something to behold). But beating City with the stick that they are supposed to win because they are the favourites doesn’t actually mean anything in competitive sport and it also doesn’t make it any less impressive if they actually manage to do it across four competitions.


A more pertinent question
I think all the Man Utd fans saying they couldn’t stomach Liverpool winning the league and would rather City win it (even the quadruple) are missing an important fact. City have won 3 league titles since 2011-12, Liverpool have never won it. So the thought of another City win doesn’t stir up the same feelings. You’ve been through it a few times before, you’re used to it even, so the idea of it happening again causes less anguish. You could compare it to Utd winning the Champions League in 1999, or getting to 18 league titles. We desperately didn’t want it to happen either, but once it happened, it didn’t carry the same weight afterwards.

The more relevant question is which of the two Utd fans would rather win if both were going for their first title. So, which?
Mick (LFC)


Football? Completed it, mate
As a Utd fan I hope City win the quadruple.

If they do, their owners will say “Football? Completed it mate” and walk away leaving City to go bust.

Why would they keep propping up a club that has won everything? Especially with the various investigations that are starting up.
Matt – MUFC ( Unlike the Glazers who are in it for the filthy lucre )


Nah, nah, nah, nah, narrative
Narrative: Liverpool have been awarded lucky penalties just when they need them.

Stats: Liverpool have been awarded 6 penalties in the PL this season:

Palace (A) – “Sakho put his arms on Salah then twice appeared to trip the forward”

Newcastle (H) – “Salah and Dummett tangled and the referee pointed to the spot, although the contact did not appear enough”

Arsenal (H) – “Salah was fouled by Sokratis” and “Kolasinac’s push on Lovren”

Brighton (A) – “Gross placed his hands on Salah before catching his leg at the key moment”

Fulham (A) – “only for Rico to foul Mane after dropping Salah’s shot”

All quotes from the BBC, to stave off accusations of bias. Five clear penalties, and one lucky one in a game we were already winning at the time. This entire narrative stemmed from Salah diving against Palace (no pen awarded) and may well have contributed to the non award of a clear pen v Leicester in a game we drew. So much for every time we need one.

Apropos of nothing, Utd have been given 10, more than anyone else in the division, despite having the attacking intent of a sea cucumber for two thirds of the season.

Narrative, huh.
JG LFC (should have a basic grasp of Latin if you’re reading the mailbox)

Sarri’s got no chance
Wading into the Sarri debate I must admit I do so enjoy having him around. Primarily as David Squires’ continued excellent treatment of him makes me look forward to every Chelsea result / mini-crisis.

I happen to think he’s an excellent manager but anyone in the Chelsea hotseat is doomed to fail. The players downed tools with Jose and will do it again; if they are not already doing so with Sarri. Unless there are wholesale changes of personnel they’ll just keep on getting the managers the sack – unwittingly aided-and-abetted by Roman’s more hands-off approach these days.

Funnily enough I think someone like Simone or Klopp would smash a few heads together there but both seem fairly happy where they are. In the case of Der KloppMeister thankfully so.

Ta-ra Fulham. A double drop would be nice.

Ta muchly.
Gregory Whitehead, LFC


Zlatan v Class of 92
Ibrahimovic is a grown man with a fuck*ng pony tail, that’s enough to negate anything he says about anything.
Andy Race (class of ’92 fanboy since 1992)


International crisis
I was under the false impression that the Nations League was getting us out of Euro qualfiers, now we have to sit through this dross.

I would just say this to the small countries. We’ll give you two friendlies per qualifying period each, at your place, so you can make money. So for example, England play Andorra and Luxembourg between September 2018 and November 2019, France play Luxembourg and Azerbajan, Spain have two and so on, then the opponents change in the next two year period.

The small countries have their own qualifying tournament for the Euro finals. The big countries just qualify, it’s what the broadcasters and other media want anyway. With the time saved, we play friendlies against each other and decent African, Asian and American nations.

Kind regards,


PFM’s abroad
Stewart, Chicago: An appropriate paraphrase would be ‘Vero Uomo di Calcio’. There’s plenty up with football and many other things in Italy but generally speaking the PFM is not as prominent. Punditry and analysis is provided generally by non-pros. Although recently Fulvio Collovati, 1982 WC winnner was suspended by RAI for sexist comments.
In terms of alternative examples of the initialism PFM, I’m sure Johnny Nic will be aware of the work of the Italian prog rockers PFM – Premiata Forneria Marconi. Not the easiest listen but then neither were Gong.
Any examples of a ‘Vrai Homme de Foot?, ‘Echte Fussball Mann’
Otto. (Man City and Genoa, not sure how accurate that German one is).

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