Would Allardyce be a success at Man United? Sorry, what?

Daniel Storey

Somehow still managing to be hyperbolic
‘The Special One, super-coach at Porto, Chelsea, Inter Milan and Real Madrid, is done as a manager’ – Neil Ashton, The Sun.

He might just go somewhere else? In fact, he probably will.

 

The blame game
Duncan Castles, 8.49pm:

‘Jose Mourinho catches Tottenham out with shape and strategy. Manchester United’s players far more focused and intense.’

Duncan Castles, 9.56pm:

‘Huge and important victory for Tottenham Hotspur. Manchester United had more than enough chances to be ahead before defenders’ errors cost them the game.’

When they play well, it’s the manager’s doing. When they play badly, it’s the players’ fault. You have to say that’s magnificent (and entirely predictable).

Remind us who picks, coaches and in many cases signed those players and who chose the system in which the defenders struggled during the second half?

The name is on the tip of our tongues…

 

We have reached peak Talksport

A decent football manager has become a parody solely through his unwavering commitment to self-promotion.

When a dick move comes back to haunt you
Wrote Daily Mail chief sports writer Martin Samuel last Wednesday, on the subject of the Manchester United women’s team:

‘For many years, Manchester United endured accusations of sexism and discrimination for not having a women’s team. This year, happily, they relented.

‘Anyway, on Sunday, the future arrived. Liverpool Women versus Manchester United Women in the Continental Tyres Cup, two huge and traditional rivals, the game promoted with interviews, features and previews in every national newspaper last week.

‘Attendance: 829. What a pity those who berated Manchester United in columns, into microphones and through social media had something better to do that day.’

As Mediawatch wrote at the time, ‘it’s almost as if the development and popularity of the women’s game might have been slightly dented by the banning of women’s football for 50 sodding years, at a point when it was incredibly popular. And that it might take quite a long time for the women’s game to catch up from that 50-year ban. And that demeaning it at every opportunity comes across as unnecessarily classless.’

We also pointed out to Samuel that his barb at Manchester United’s attendance might have carried a little more weight if United had not been playing away from home. But of course that wasn’t going to stop him.

It may therefore interest Samuel to learn that on Saturday, United played their first home fixture in the Continental Tyres Cup and the match was attended by 4,835 supporters. As Rob Dawson of ESPN reported, that was more than the average crowds of 26 League One and League Two clubs last season.

Samuel’s column on Tuesday is remarkably missing mention of that particular attendance.

 

Blowing a Gayle
In The Sun, chief football writer Charlie Wyett takes Rafael Benitez to task over his tactics against Chelsea. Wyett concludes that Newcastle fans would have revolted if any other manager had used the same tactics, and say they will soon be getting sick of Benitez. So far, so ballsy.

‘Benitez will argue that with 14 minutes left against Chelsea, his team were on course for a point – despite having trailed to a controversial penalty,’ Wyett then writes in mitigation.

‘But Joselu’s header looked like earning a point, until Deandre Yedlin’s unfortunate late own goal. Had Dwight Gayle headed home at the death, Rafa would have been applauded for his tactics – if not his style.’

If Gayle had headed home at the death, applause would have been accompanied by bemusement; Gayle joined West Brom on loan three weeks ago.

 

An odd target
Writes Stan Collymore  – the man who previously told us that David Silva wasn’t all that – in his Daily Mirror column:

‘Let’s get one thing straight. Hazard is under no pressure at Stamford Bridge. Zero. On and off the pitch.

‘The Belgian has a wonderful lifestyle in London with all the riches that come with being one of the best in the world.

‘On the pitch, if he’s fit he plays. No one is pushing him from behind in the squad, forcing him to deliver all the time, not just some of the time. And for me that’s a shame.

‘When you’re in that kind of situation it dims the fire a little and it seems to me that Hazard’s been in that mode for the last few seasons at Chelsea.’

A reminder, for it seems to be needed: Eden Hazard has just been named the second best player at the World Cup, has won two Premier League titles in the last four seasons, has been picked in the PFA Team of the Year in four of the last six seasons and has also been named the PFA Player of the Year. We’re not sure ‘you aren’t the same as Ronaldo or Messi’ need be damning criticism.

 

The new king
As part of his pop at Hazard (using his usual trick of praising him – ‘Don’t get me wrong, I like Hazard and think he’s a top, top performer’ – followed by several hundred words of criticism), Collymore anoints a new ruler of world football.

‘Vinicius is the new star at the Bernabeu. The Brazilian 18-year-old is the next big player, bigger than even Neymar and Kylian Mbappe. And he’s going to be the real deal.’

Perhaps, yes. But he’s never played a competitive minute of football in Europe and is only 18 months younger than the now apparently passe Mbappe. Shall we perhaps wait a little while to crown him king?

 

Explosion
Fair play to Express Sport, who have managed to get an exclusive interview with Barcelona defender Gerard Pique at a poker tournament in Spain. But Mediawatch must take some umbrage with the sensationalising of Pique’s quotes on the future of Paul Pogba:

‘In a transfer bombshell that will send shockwaves through Old Trafford, Pique – unprompted – turned the conversation with our man in Barcelona to a potential transfer.

‘”We will be happy to have him [Pogba] here, obviously. We want the best players to be at Barcelona,” he revealed.

‘”But we respect Manchester United because it’s his club. Until he says something or the club says something, he’s a Manchester United player.”’

Manchester United turned down a concrete offer from Barcelona for Pogba on August 7. We’re pretty sure one of their players saying ‘We’d be happy to have him but he’s Manchester United’s player’ will cause smaller ‘shockwaves’ than that particular development.

 

Deliberation on the nation
March 20, 2018:

“There’s no decision to be made. I’m here now with Ireland at the moment and I’ve been called up by Martin. And if I didn’t want to play for Ireland I wouldn’t be here tonight picking up this award. I’m really looking forward to this week and I’m looking forward to getting to know the boys better.

“I haven’t had a call from anyone at the FA. Not at all. England have never wanted me at under-age level, it’s always been Ireland. I’m fully focused on playing with Ireland.

“To get called up here by Ireland… my nan and granddad are from Cork and they sadly passed away, so for me to be playing for Ireland now, they’ll be looking down on me very proud. My family are very happy that I’m playing with Ireland” – Declan Rice.

August 27, 2018:

‘West Ham’s Declan Rice left out of Ireland squad as he considers England approach’ – Evening Standard.

Ah.

 

Thanks but no thanks
‘Watch the horrific moment footballer dislocates his elbow after winning header’ – Sun Football.

We’re actually fine, ta.

 

Recommended reading of the day
Sid Lowe on Real Valladolid.

Paul Hayward on Rafael Benitez.

Rory Smith on training scouts.