Yoro clashes with Ronaldo but different Man Utd teammate gives Rashford dreadful ‘advice’
Marcus Rashford may ignore some frankly awful Man Utd advice to make a ‘shock’ Premier League move, while Leny Yoro is busy arguing with Cristiano Ronaldo.
Mediawatch
Rashford slammed for taking ‘flamethrower’ to Amorim relationship as ‘era of tough-nut footballer’ dies with Walker
Marcus Rashford saying he is open to leaving Manchester United has boggled minds. Kyle Walker being ‘the game’s last genuine hardman’ is weirder still.
Cole Palmer makes his depressing move into football superstar celebrity official
Cole Palmer has long since revealed himself to be really quite good at football. But the Chelsea maverick is a superstar with the ‘Wag’ SEO treatment now.
Sancho (and Beckham) ‘true colours’ shown in pathetic Manchester United reporting
Jadon Sancho did not have the best relationship with Manchester United but the club should be furious on his and David Beckham’s behalf at recent headlines.
Van Nistelrooy infuriates managers, ‘bonkers’ Amorim and Slot is the next Paisley
Future Leicester manager Ruud van Nistelrooy is coming over here and taking our jobs, while it is so difficult not to see Arne Slot as the next Bob Paisley.
Guardiola contract ignored as more digs at Rashford take back-page precedent
Pep Guardiola extending his Manchester City deal is a back-page splash on any day, never mind during a sleepy international break. But Marcus Rashford…
Man Utd’s ‘hell of a brains trust’ praised for ‘intelligent’ gamble which will cost another £25m
Man Utd deserve pelters for keeping Erik ten Hag but Ruben Amorim is a ‘sensible’ and ‘intelligent’ choice by the man who brought Eddie Howe to Newcastle.
Ten Hag turns up for work at normal time ahead of mysterious Manchester United ‘crisis meeting’
Erik ten Hag turned up for work at a normal time ahead of a non-existent Manchester United ‘crisis meeting’, possibly involving ‘cool’ Ruud van Nistelrooy.
Salah ‘shock’ announcement over contract as accurate as ‘bizarre’ Neville and ‘remarkable’ Ten Hag
Liverpool thrashed Manchester United but that was not enough. We have to pretend Gary Neville and Erik ten Hag said ‘bizarre’ and ‘remarkable’ things.
Manchester United teammate ‘will block’ new signing’s ‘dream’ and Liverpool hatch genius ‘pays off’
Liverpool know their Marc Guehi patience has paid off and they plan on ‘extracting greater value out of Crystal Palace…than Newcastle managed’.
Man Utd given huge double boost with Jenas update and Liverpool’s Sterling non-hijack
Raheem Sterling is heading to Liverpool instead of Manchester United, who might be surprised to find themselves embroiled in the Jermaine Jenas stuff.
Liverpool youngster is the next Grealish *and* next Sterling, while Man Utd have a new Rooney and Ronaldo
It’s a great day for dubbing at the Daily Express as Liverpool find a New Sterling, while there’s breaking news about Saddam Hussein’s gold toilet.
Mediawatch on Lukaku, Zouma (again) and Collymore whataboutery
The columnists are out in force today, with Romelu Lukaku still under the spotlight and Kurt Zouma-related contrarianism.
Solskjaer aimed vicious ‘parting shot’ at ‘flops’ after ‘betrayal’
The Sun are adamant that the players carried out a ‘betrayal’ of Solskjaer against Watford.
Manchester United are ‘top of the league’ so shush…
Manchester United are top of the league so Ole criticism should stop. Oh and the wrong Ronaldo.
Ronaldo petrifies players and those Newcastle Nazis
Ronaldo is exactly like Winston Churchill because Newcastle are exactly like the Nazis…
Ronaldo, his poor mum and the traitorous Declan Rice
Ronaldo reduces his mother and Mediawatch to tears while Declan Rice is next ‘transfer masterplan’ target.
Ronaldo allows £73m man ‘under the radar’ apparently…
Jadon Sancho is allowed to be a bit sh*te because of Ronaldo, who will definitely be on the bench v Newcastle.
Have England become ‘The Harry Kane team’ now too?
Harry Kane can score a goal a game for England if he likes, but the media expect him to break records.
Can Ronaldo ‘adapt’ and ‘integrate’ at United by Saturday?
It’s the big question as the media is once again dominated by Ronaldo, who has been ‘noticed’ playing football…
Latest Ronaldo exclusive: ‘He could be on the bench!’
But first, Ronaldo could be forced to drive slower. There is just so much Ronaldo news around…
Southgate in ‘confusing’ Greenwood stance
Gareth Southgate has taken a ‘confusing’ Mason Greenwood stance and Pep Guardiola could copy his tactics.
Ronaldo, Ed Woodward and the great PR swindle
Forget ”funny, clever and engaging’, Ed Woodward is some kind of magician for making Ronaldo happen…
Liverpool suffer double squad blow as CR7 cardio questioned
Cristiano Ronaldo is a “killing machine” one day but when he joins Manchester United we speak of tired legs.
There can be no bad Liverpool news while Mbappe exists
The Liverpool Echo always has Mbappe to fall back on. But the MEN cannot make their mind up on United’s midfield.
Solskjaer and a ‘body of work’ that transcends trophies
Never mind trophies, never mind title challenges, check out Ole Gunnar Solskjaer and his 100 games.
But Ronaldo said he’d never play for Mark Hughes in 10th…
But Cristiano Ronaldo said he would “never” join Manchester City. In 2009. When they had just finished 10th.
‘Greedy’ Kane is hung out to dry by The Sun as Spurs lose out
The Sun have been in bed with Harry Kane all summer but now he is ‘greedy’ and solely to blame for everything.
Kane panic takes hold as Sun shoot at ‘frosty’ Nuno, Athletic
The Sun are scoffing at The Athletic using someone’s brother to get access. The Sun. The Sun are doing that.
One-handed column writing is hard and Arsenal are irrelevant
Arsenal are irrelevant, says full-page column in national newspaper. And that’s not even the troubling part…