The Summer of Kane is going to make last year's Sancho Saga look positively joyous. We're already annoyed.
Another week, another European Super League-based prick. Bonus: this time, there's two!
You can have your own opinions on the Man United protests, but you can't have your own facts.
It was tough identifying a single prick among the vast array of pricks in a record-breaking week for prickery...
It has gone, the game. Football. The game. Our game. The one we loved. The one we grew up watching. It has gone.
A miserable one this week, with a growing scandal that isn't going to go away.
Even if it is an "impossible job" it must be possible to do better than Aidy Boothroyd, surely.
Harry Kane was fouled for a penalty and yet there are more conspiracies. Football fans are special.
Acting a prick in a way that makes other people act like pricks is bad prickery.
Andrea Agnelli’s ideas are, almost always, entirely absurd and nakedly geared towards big club success.
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer donned his tinfoil hat after Man United's draw at Chelsea. Prick.
He's a good and kindly old man. This week, though, he was also kind of a prick.
Harry Maguire had a very odd day on Sunday, forgetting all his football training and then also his media training.
Sending people death threats makes you a prick. Surely we can all agree on that. But how did we get here?
Don't lose 9-0. Definitely don't do it twice. And definitely don't then complain about the ref.
It's taken 19 weeks, but Harry Redknapp has finally PFMed his way into the list.
In which we call the greatest footballer of all time a prick...
There were lots of pricks this week. Great times. Unless you're Newcastle. Then it's sh*t.
Professional footballers: please stop breaking Covid regulations. Or at least stop posing for photos when you do.
Leeds' social media bods had to know what would happen after *that* tweet. They were pricks to press ahead.
They've done studies, you know. Against Everton, Arsenal win 60% of the time, every time.
We were short of ideas this week. Then Danny Drinkwater booted a 16-year-old. Thanks, Danny.
Football is behind just about every sport other than boxing, where the point is literally to concuss each other.
In This Most Unpredictable Of Seasons, it turns out that the best team with the best manager are the best.
Sometimes the prick is an actual villain, or something unpleasant. And sometimes it's a funny penalty miss.
Probably not since the first wasteful Mourinho selection has there been a more likely eventual PotW.
It seems to have been assigned solely to WBA. But the 5.30pm Monday PPV slot is particularly horrid.
Pickford, Richarlison, twitter dot com, Liverpool fans (yes, yes, #NotAllLiverpoolFans), Morgan. All pricks.
Project Power Grab may over-reach and be doomed in its current form, but it's still definitely a prick.
Deadline Day barged in on Monday, swinging its dick around. Who invited you?