‘Full kit w*nkers’ to ‘mistaken identity’ – USA’s World Cup opener lives up to the hype
Fox Sports’ build-up for the United States’ World Cup opener started three hours before kick-off in Inglewood as years of impatient waiting finally came to an end.
The Americans were awfully excited. Perhaps a little too excited at times, as Stuart Holden became a cheerleader outside the Los Angeles Stadium and Alexi Lalas said the words “full kit wankers” on live TV.
The latter made for an excellent viral clip thanks to the combination of a pundit saying a bad word and a classic, meme-worthy Thierry Henry reaction.
Americans are good at becoming a meme or caricature of themselves, and the glitz, glamour and importance of co-hosting a World Cup finals sent that into overdrive.
That is made less funny by the fact Mauricio Pochettino’s team is actually pretty darn good, dawg.
Inevitably, there will be the odd shout that the United States will win the World Cup, but with their group consisting of Paraguay, Turkey and Australia, they have an excellent chance of finishing top, which gives them a strong opportunity to put together a tournament run.
Saturday morning’s opener against Paraguay felt as crucial as it had been billed, and the much-maligned host nation delivered.
This is arguably the greatest United States team of all time, with their starting XI consisting of players like Antonee Robinson, Christian Pulisic, Malik Tillman and Weston McKennie, while also being able to call upon Ricardo Pepi, Tim Weah and Sebastian Berhalter from the bench.
It’s a decent squad and a potential dark horse even without home advantage, but with those expectations and previous Copa America and Gold Cup failings comes immense pressure, which can be a real hindrance in competitive sport – even if it can be spun as a privilege.
Pulisic – or the LeBron James of soccer – has more weight on his shoulders than anyone as the poster boy, but the supporting cast clearly gives him the freedom he needs to thrive. He put Paraguay to the sword, looking extremely dangerous every time he had the opportunity to run at opposing full-back Juan Jose Caceres, who was booked after a bleak 10 minutes and managed to avoid an early bath.
Pulisic’s bursting run on the edge of the box took two Paraguay defenders out of the game before Damian Bobadilla turned the ball into his own net after seven minutes.
The US were in the mood and suffocated their opponents, spurning a huge chance when Sergino Dest fumbled a touch with the goal at his mercy and then having a Folarin Balogun goal ruled out for offside in the 28th minute.
Balogun was allowed to celebrate properly a couple of minutes later as a rattled Paraguay found themselves 2-0 down and staring at a humiliating defeat. It was the most convincing performance by any team at this World Cup so far.
The USA put an incredible amount of energy into the first half and, had they gone into the break only a goal up, there would have been a lingering fear of them running out of steam and being punished for not taking their chances. But it was game over in the fifth minute of injury time when Balogun officially put Mauricio Pochettino’s side into Dreamland.
Balogun was a spectacular, constant danger whose ruthless finishing rewarded the USA’s incredible pace, press and tactical fluidity. Having a World Cup game over by half-time takes some doing, and their opening 45 minutes of football in 2026 saw more goals scored than in their entire 2022 group-stage campaign.
With the job done, Pochettino gave Captain America, Pulisic, a rest and the pace understandably dropped, though the USA still threatened as Paraguay laboured to avoid a certified pasting, actually finding a consolation goal through Mauricio with their first shot on target in the 73rd minute.
There was no hat-trick for Balogun, but we did witness the very first “mistaken identity” VAR review at a World Cup finals.
It felt bizarre and time-consuming at first, but anything that helps eradicate diving from Our Game is most welcome. Tim Ream was initially booked for a foul on Miguel Almiron, only for referee Danny Makkelie to be sent to the pitchside monitor, overturn his decision and give Almiron a yellow card for simulation.
And amid the novelty of the latest VAR alteration, the sight of a red card in Makkelie’s hand would have had a few hearts in mouths.
There will be some interesting debates about this new rule in the coming days, but not as many reactionary takes from US supporters claiming they can become world champions.
We like this team and we loved this performance, but not quite.
It was a near-perfect result, with Paraguay’s consolation goal the only blemish, though Gio Reyna’s brilliant curler for 4-1 deep into second-half injury time might be enough to make that irrelevant.
Still, it was a fitting way to live up to the hype – in some cases, three hours of constant hype – and give a group of fans who rarely need an excuse to dream and exaggerate a reason to do exactly that.
The hype may be too much to live up to when the Australia game rolls around next Friday if the Americans do, in fact, go too far with their tournament predictions.
Regardless, we can’t take anything away from Saturday morning’s performance, and there’s no doubt that was the most convincing any team has looked at the 2026 World Cup so far.