The problem with the internet is that nothing (not even a move for Antony) is a SHOCK anymore...unless you work for a tabloid newspaper and it's 1996.
How things are going for Manchester United depends on whether you are selling papers in Liverpool or trying to get clicks from United fans.
Manchester United are heading for the bottom half while the Daily Star's investigative journalists take to Fabio Vieira's Instagram...
The Premier League fixtures are out and Erik Ten Hag can thank the Premier League gods, apparently. While England are at crisis point. Obviously.
Gareth Southgate has got an absolute shooing in the press after the booing of fans in Wolverhampton destroys six years of work with England.
Nine hours after writing that Manchester United were 'rebuffed' by Darwin Nunez, the same journalist was back with a different tale.
Liverpool invented selling players to buy more players...even though Manchester City have recently done it just as well.
Some might consider £85m and £42m to be considerably different transfer fees, but through a Liverpool prism that is 'very little money, net'.
For sales and clicks obviously, but we are talking about a 34-point gap between two teams in different stratospheres and Darwin Nunez has a choice...
Liverpool do not seem daunted by the prospect of spending loads on Darwin Nunez. Unless you need to paint them as a paragon of transfer virtue.
And if you think that headline makes no sense then that's because it doesn't but Liverpool is in there, right?
It seems like everybody Manchester United targets can have their dream shirt number except possibly Mason Mount...
The media is in full 'let's pretend Manchester United are going to buy a load of players' territory - even though it is bollocks.
UEFA have diddled Liverpool by putting them in the second Champions League pot, it seems. What they need to do now is sign a certain type of player...