Are Man Utd about to sack Erik ten Hag? Are they balls. But that’s the theme of the week as United are in crisis mode.
The Rasmus Hojlund propaganda machine is flying now; apparently no goals or assists in defeats is what Manchester United wanted…
‘It would be wrong to conclude that it is all positivity’ for Mason Greenwood in Getafe, but honestly it sounds lovely. Mike Keegan sees only one problem.
Harry Maguire has lashed out at Scotland and divulged his cunning plot to break into the Manchester United side. There are more ‘showdown talks’ for Ten Hag.
Liverpool youngster is the next Grealish *and* next Sterling, while Man Utd have a new Rooney and Ronaldo
It’s a great day for dubbing at the Daily Express as Liverpool find a New Sterling, while there’s breaking news about Saddam Hussein’s gold toilet.
Shockingly, Gareth Southgate did not close the England door to a 23-year-old, but one man is shouting at the clouds about Harvey Barnes.
That half-hour from new Man Utd striker Rasmus Hojlund really has made him a superstar; just ignore the price tag and the record.
The only reason Manchester United lost out to Tottenham in the £40million race to sign James Maddison this summer was obviously to do with Paul Gascoigne.
Jorge Vilda has been sacked for clapping, which sounds harsh until you do any kind of research, which is not Matthew Syed’s forte.
Mo Salah has asked Jordan Henderson how he is settling in Saudi Arabia so that’s pretty much that transfer done.
Manchester United fans might be feeling sorry for themselves but do they not realise that Rasmus Hojlund and Alejandro Garnacho have provided ‘good news’ despite 3-1 defeat.
Paul Merson is certain Mo Salah will definitely leave Liverpool, as long as you ignore the words he actually said, while Man United’s players are glum.
Ryan Gravenberch has always dreamed of wearing Jon Flanagan’s old Liverpool shirt while one writer gets confused about that Mo Salah transfer.
Depressingly grim Jenni Hermoso stuff from the Telegraph, while The Sun identify some giants roaming in tiny, ramshackle leagues.
Mason Greenwood could get a massive pay-off from Man Utd his week or join a club from a ‘ramshackle selection’ of leagues…
No fair person could have seen Trent Alexander-Arnold struggle against Newcastle and used the words ‘impressive’ or ‘understated’. Enter the Liverpool Echo.
The relationship between Mo Salah and Jurgen Klopp is obviously ‘strained’, but Liverpool can blame pesky Newcastle for the recent ‘fanciful speculation’.
This is Liverpool so this means more. Forget Sandro Tonali or James Maddison, Dominic Szoboszlai has been crowned after dominating Bournemouth.
Something Mason Greenwood said about Ronaldo *five years ago* makes a Saudi Arabia move a ‘dead’ end, because of course it does.
England’s women did not get off a 22-hour flight and go straight through the usual arrivals hall. The complete cow-bags.
Well done England women but would you have triumphed over Spain if Prince William had showed up? We will never know…
Liverpool still better than City; Lavia rejected Reds over ‘history’; Telegraph v Infantino for nonsense
Liverpool are still the bestest team ever because Man City and Chelsea are rubbish. But we start with the big clash between the Telegraph and Infantino.
Not only does Wataru Endo love his three times table, he also has a name that shares more than one letter with some other midfielders. Hilarious!
We’ve got another Boaty McBoatface on our hands after some cheeky online poll sabotage, but at least the Telegraph are respecting the outcome.
Should we have dedicated the whole of Mediawatch to John Aldridge being batty about Moises Caicedo? Well, if two papers give him columns then yes…
Some absolute bumfluff about Harry Kane comes first but one man has fallen hard for Sandro Tonali while Moises Caicedo fee is inflated…
Liverpool ‘out-negotiated and out-manoeuvred’ Chelsea by offering more money than even Brighton thought Moises Caicedo was worth…
Liverpool are receiving transfer blows all over the place but Romeo Lavia is bound to move because of what happened 19 years ago…
Chelsea and Barca suffer crushing Neymar blow, Kane clarity, and Ramsdale’s harsh warning to new rival
Chelsea and Barcelona have suffered a major blow after another team emerged as contenders to sign a player neither Chelsea nor Barcelona want to sign.
Forget Euro 2022 and the Finalissima: the proof that England’s ‘overhyped’ women have finally made it has come with a stunning hatchet job in the Daily Mail.