Erik ten Hag sack definitely ‘looming’ as three, six, NINE Man Utd issues revealed
Are Man Utd about to sack Erik ten Hag? Are they balls. But that’s the theme of the week as United are in crisis mode.
Mediawatch
Onana nightmare continues as Manchester United man hits new low ‘just hours’ before Salah exposed
Things cannot get much worse for Andre Onana at Manchester United after he ‘dropped another clanger’, while Mo Salah’s successor had no shots or key passes.
Manchester United crisis: Four players ‘ignored’ Fernandes, Ten Hag blanks Onana, big Kane ‘error’
Manchester United have scored nine goals and conceded 14 so clearly should have signed Kane. But it’s alright because Hojlund ‘showed he could match’ him.
Ten Hag ‘all wrong’ about Liverpool, and Kane would have Man United in the title race but maybe not
The Echo try to crowbar Liverpool into a week when Manchester United are the only story in town, with limited success, plus some Harry Kane guff.
Man Utd paid £64m for 6/10 Hojlund and that’s ‘what they wanted’, apparently
The Rasmus Hojlund propaganda machine is flying now; apparently no goals or assists in defeats is what Manchester United wanted…
Greenwood given special Wing’s treatment as he is rescued from Man Utd ‘fear’ by ‘well-run’ Getafe
‘It would be wrong to conclude that it is all positivity’ for Mason Greenwood in Getafe, but honestly it sounds lovely. Mike Keegan sees only one problem.
Maguire slams Scotland fans, shares Manchester United ‘masterplan’ as England kickback continues
Harry Maguire has lashed out at Scotland and divulged his cunning plot to break into the Manchester United side. There are more ‘showdown talks’ for Ten Hag.
Liverpool youngster is the next Grealish *and* next Sterling, while Man Utd have a new Rooney and Ronaldo
It’s a great day for dubbing at the Daily Express as Liverpool find a New Sterling, while there’s breaking news about Saddam Hussein’s gold toilet.
Man Utd man is STILL English but Harvey Barnes prompts ire with possible ‘tartanisation’
Shockingly, Gareth Southgate did not close the England door to a 23-year-old, but one man is shouting at the clouds about Harvey Barnes.
Why Man Utd are justified in spending £72m on Europe’s 20th best young forward
That half-hour from new Man Utd striker Rasmus Hojlund really has made him a superstar; just ignore the price tag and the record.
Gazza helped Spurs beat Man Utd to £40m transfer; Ten Hag should fear Solskjaer and Rooney
The only reason Manchester United lost out to Tottenham in the £40million race to sign James Maddison this summer was obviously to do with Paul Gascoigne.
Jorge Vilda, Luis Rubiales and a shot at the ‘woke’ from a Times man with form
Jorge Vilda has been sacked for clapping, which sounds harsh until you do any kind of research, which is not Matthew Syed’s forte.
The truth about Jordan Henderson, Mo Salah and Saudi Arabia ‘talks’ as Liverpool resist
Mo Salah has asked Jordan Henderson how he is settling in Saudi Arabia so that’s pretty much that transfer done.
Jadon Sancho aside, Man Utd ‘future is bright’ after Hojlund assisted assist to non-goal
Manchester United fans might be feeling sorry for themselves but do they not realise that Rasmus Hojlund and Alejandro Garnacho have provided ‘good news’ despite 3-1 defeat.
Salah WILL definitely maybe leave Liverpool for Saudi Arabia if some other things also happen
Paul Merson is certain Mo Salah will definitely leave Liverpool, as long as you ignore the words he actually said, while Man United’s players are glum.
Ryan Gravenberch gets dream back-up shirt number as Salah loyalty bizarrely questioned
Ryan Gravenberch has always dreamed of wearing Jon Flanagan’s old Liverpool shirt while one writer gets confused about that Mo Salah transfer.
Jenni Hermoso commits sin of ‘laughing’ while Mason Greenwood could join ‘ramshackle giants’
Depressingly grim Jenni Hermoso stuff from the Telegraph, while The Sun identify some giants roaming in tiny, ramshackle leagues.
Man Utd to pay Mason Greenwood off to avoid ‘ramshackle selection’ of leagues?
Mason Greenwood could get a massive pay-off from Man Utd his week or join a club from a ‘ramshackle selection’ of leagues…
‘Impressive’ Alexander-Arnold praised for not sh*tting in soiled Liverpool shorts v Newcastle
No fair person could have seen Trent Alexander-Arnold struggle against Newcastle and used the words ‘impressive’ or ‘understated’. Enter the Liverpool Echo.
Mo Salah latest: ‘Strained’ Klopp relationship and Newcastle to blame for ‘fanciful speculation’
The relationship between Mo Salah and Jurgen Klopp is obviously ‘strained’, but Liverpool can blame pesky Newcastle for the recent ‘fanciful speculation’.
Liverpool man is two games in and already ‘best midfield buy of the summer’
This is Liverpool so this means more. Forget Sandro Tonali or James Maddison, Dominic Szoboszlai has been crowned after dominating Bournemouth.
Thin-skinned Ronaldo blocks Greenwood’s Saudi Arabia escape route over five-year feud
Something Mason Greenwood said about Ronaldo *five years ago* makes a Saudi Arabia move a ‘dead’ end, because of course it does.
England women are already villains for following men through ‘hidden exit’
England’s women did not get off a 22-hour flight and go straight through the usual arrivals hall. The complete cow-bags.
Why did ‘lovely’ and ‘brave’ England lose World Cup final? Because a man wasn’t there…
Well done England women but would you have triumphed over Spain if Prince William had showed up? We will never know…
Liverpool still better than City; Lavia rejected Reds over ‘history’; Telegraph v Infantino for nonsense
Liverpool are still the bestest team ever because Man City and Chelsea are rubbish. But we start with the big clash between the Telegraph and Infantino.
Liverpool target Wataru Endo is maths fan with hilarious name as transfer ‘reality’ revealed!
Not only does Wataru Endo love his three times table, he also has a name that shares more than one letter with some other midfielders. Hilarious!
Premier League’s Ultimate Team revealed to be 78-point, 66-goal runners-up who won nothing
We’ve got another Boaty McBoatface on our hands after some cheeky online poll sabotage, but at least the Telegraph are respecting the outcome.
Moises Caicedo should have joined Liverpool because Chelsea lost to Oxford in 1985
Should we have dedicated the whole of Mediawatch to John Aldridge being batty about Moises Caicedo? Well, if two papers give him columns then yes…
Sandro Tonali is a ‘strutting alpha male’ as £100m Caicedo truth is obscured
Some absolute bumfluff about Harry Kane comes first but one man has fallen hard for Sandro Tonali while Moises Caicedo fee is inflated…
Moises Caicedo: How Liverpool ‘out-negotiated and out-manoeuvred’ Chelsea with £110m
Liverpool ‘out-negotiated and out-manoeuvred’ Chelsea by offering more money than even Brighton thought Moises Caicedo was worth…
Liverpool! Romeo Lavia! £171m! That’s a really massive number, isn’t it?
Liverpool are receiving transfer blows all over the place but Romeo Lavia is bound to move because of what happened 19 years ago…
Chelsea and Barca suffer crushing Neymar blow, Kane clarity, and Ramsdale’s harsh warning to new rival
Chelsea and Barcelona have suffered a major blow after another team emerged as contenders to sign a player neither Chelsea nor Barcelona want to sign.
‘Overhyped’ England slammed, James should face Beckham abuse as World Cup quarter-final ignored
Forget Euro 2022 and the Finalissima: the proof that England’s ‘overhyped’ women have finally made it has come with a stunning hatchet job in the Daily Mail.