Arteta ‘brutally SNUBBED’ – according to man who called Arsenal ‘mentality muppets’ who have ‘gone backwards’
Mikel Arteta has been ‘brutally SNUBBED’ – but is he still a ‘deluded’ manager of ‘mentality muppets’ who have ‘gone backwards’ in Arsenal?
Liverpool have also been ‘snubbed’ in apparent proof of how far they have fallen, despite their last such ‘snub’ coming when they were one of the best teams in the world.
Also in Mediawatch, there is class, boffins and true colours. Pretty much as always.
Snub crawl
Frank Lampard was named LMA manager of the year on Tuesday. But that really is shudderingly boring, isn’t it? Far more interesting is this from The Sun website:
‘Arteta brutally SNUBBED by fellow bosses for top award despite Arsenal title win’
No update yet on whether fellow nominees Pep Guardiola, Unai Emery, Andoni Iraola, Keith Andrews, Michael Skubala and Andy Woodman were also ‘brutally SNUBBED’, or if only Arteta can possibly suffer such a fate.
A fate, by the way, that amounts to being ‘sensationally beaten’ and ‘incredibly snubbed’ for an award in favour of a manager who won the Championship title by 11 points, guiding his club to Premier League promotion for the first time in 25 years as the division’s highest scorers and lowest conceders.
Apropos of nothing, we wonder whether Charlie Wyett – the man happy to pretend this is a brutal SNUBBING – still believes Arteta to be ‘deluded’, and Arsenal to be ‘mentality muppets’ who have ‘gone backwards’.
Class is in session
This, by the way, is absolutely textbook John Cross-ing.
‘Mikel Arteta was Premier League Manager of the Year. Lovely touch to bring his whole team on stage and also pay a rich tribute to David Moyes for starting his journey in English football. Big nod from new school to old school in there, too. Class.’
A timely reminder that nothing is classy until it is officially approved by Crossy.
Lie back and think of England
There are myriad sticks with which to beat Liverpool after their dreadful Premier League title defence. But Jeremy Cross of the Daily Mirror is reaching here.
‘It feels symbolic of Liverpool’s rapid decline this season,’ he writes. ‘And a damning reflection of how standards have slipped at one of the world’s biggest and proudest football clubs.’
The ‘shameful’, ’embarrassing’ and ‘almost unthinkable’ ‘snub’? That there is no Liverpool player in England’s World Cup squad.
Cross points out that it is the first time this has happened since 1986. He neglects to mention that they were English champions and FA Cup winners then, which undermines the idea that a lack of representation in an England World Cup squad is ‘a damning reflection of how standards have slipped at one of the world’s biggest and proudest football clubs’.
It’s a reflection of Rio Ngumoha being 17, Curtis Jones and Joe Gomez being Curtis Jones and Joe Gomez, and Liverpool selling Jarell Quansah and Jordan Henderson.
There are no Bournemouth players in the England squad either. Is that a reflection of how rubbish they are too?
Boffin compares to you
AI technology platform PLAIER would put Jones in the England squad, which is obviously incredibly embarrassing for Tuchel.
James Tarkowski would also have made a selection based on a system which ‘uses a database of more than 300,000 footballers across more than 200 countries to correlate data and provide precise analysis,’ with players ‘selected in the AI squad based on the likeliness of success on the pitch as a team, rather than individual quality.’
And it is at that point that the MailOnline should probably have realised they were being a bit silly in doing a story based on the findings of an AI scouting tool which believes Jones, Tarkowski and Lewis Dunk to be central to World Cup glory.
But of course the MailOnline was going to cover both that and the Sofascore Premier League team of the season. It all boils down to one word. And you’ll be kicking yourself if you don’t get it before the grand reveal of these headlines:
‘The England squad Thomas Tuchel SHOULD have picked, according to AI boffins: TEN stars miss out as surprise Liverpool man is included – but are there spots for Foden and Palmer?’
‘Erling Haaland leads the line but there’s no room for Antoine Semenyo – and a surprise goalkeeper with almost HALF the number of David Raya’s clean sheets makes the cut: Stats boffins name their team of the season’
Numbers = boffins. And boffins = some good old-fashioned MailOnline sneering.
As Luck would have it
Here is Samuel Luckhurst in The Sun:
‘United made the most of playing one game per week in a season where they endured 16-day, 13-day, 11-day and 24-day gaps between fixtures.’
‘Endured’? The poor sods, having to put up with big breaks in between games against inevitably more knackered teams.
Enjoyed would be more appropriate, especially considering…
‘Yet two of United’s worst performances under Carrick – at West Ham United and Newcastle – came three days after their previous fixture.’
It’s almost like the lengthy rest periods between matches that they ‘endured’ this season was actually massively beneficial.
Hit the Dec
After his recent ‘true colours’ exhibition in the aftermath of West Ham’s relegation, Declan Rice continues to reveal yet more of himself.
‘Declan Rice shows his true colours with West Ham message after Premier League relegation’ is the headline chosen by the Daily Mirror website.
And it turns out that Rice, former West Ham academy graduate, player and captain, with whom he spent a decade of his life and career, was sad to see them get relegated.
