Dunk to Guehi via Kane, Bellingham and Watkins: Ranking all 26 England players at Euro 2024
Another major tournament ticked off with England not winning it, two more years of hurt added to the list and now it’s going to be 30 years of 30 years of hurt by the time a bloated World Cup kicks off in America two years from now.
It was a funny old tournament for England. You don’t need us to tell you that they didn’t really play that well that often, something even the staunchest Gareth Southgate stan should be able to accept. Much as his staunchest critic should be able to acknowledge his tournament record with the Three Lions is one that deserves respect.
But enough about the manager. There’s plenty of chat about him and his future to be found elsewhere. Let’s focus on the players, and really quite pointlessly and arbitrarily rank them. Even the ones who didn’t actually play. Especially the ones who didn’t actually play. We just like ranking things, okay?
26) Lewis Dunk
Just shouldn’t have been there. One of two unused centre-backs in the squad, but the other – Joe Gomez – at least offered versatility and at 27 might still feasibly have an England career ahead of him. England would have lost absolutely nothing and potentially gained plenty for the future had his spot in the squad gone to Jarrad Branthwaite and absolutely everyone bar Southgate could see that when the squad was named.
25) Dean Henderson
Third-choice goalkeeper at a major tournament comprising a maximum of seven games has to be the best and cushiest job in the entire world of sport. What a life.
24) Joe Gomez
Mr Utility, taken to Germany as second reserve in about four different positions and never actually needed in any of them. We’re actually fine with this one. The fact Gomez was never actually needed is in our view no more an indictment of his qualities or Southgate’s thinking than Dean Henderson not being required.
23) Aaron Ramsdale
Really is no shame in being England’s number two, despite what you might think if you only watched England players in club football.
22) Adam Wharton
Should have a fine England career ahead of him and this early tournament experience can’t do any harm. Offers something slightly different to Kobbie Mainoo but both have enormous and tantalising potential to fill the hole at number eight that has been there for so, so long.
England have had plenty of sixes and 10s but have never really had a truly compelling number eight since football made its decisive move away from 4-4-f***ing-2. It’s cost them really quite significantly in at least three of their last four tournaments, with Croatia, Italy and Spain all decisively superior in that area when eliminating England. It would be lovely to think we might now have a couple of them knocking around for the next decade or so.
21) Conor Gallagher
Does run around an awful lot and get stuck in. Quite handy to bring on when defending a late lead for two minutes of added time, sure, but it does not really an international midfielder make. Far more suited to the blood and thunder of the Premier League – as is Rice probably, now we come to think of it – but in international football is likely to find himself very swiftly overtaken by your Kobbie Mainoos (this has already happened, to be fair) and the Adam Whartons of this world.
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20) Jarrod Bowen
A borderline pick among the back-up attackers who made the cut due to being a right-sided player when England had a preponderance of left-sided options, in direct contrast to their defensive stocks. Duly replaced Saka relatively late on in the first couple of games and did little wrong, but the suspicion that this was a responsibility that could be covered by Cole Palmer and thus free up a squad place for a wildcard like Jack Grealish or something more pragmatic (i.e. literally any fit left-back) was only confirmed by subsequent events.
We have a nagging suspicion that the fate of a few players at squad-naming time was decided by Southgate wanting to make a point about prioritising recent form rather than his faves. Bowen’s season with West Ham absolutely merited a place over Grealish or Marcus Rashford, but when push came to knockout football shove, would Southgate have rather been able to look down his line of substitutes and see one of those lads sitting there instead?
19) Harry Kane
Hmm. UEFA’s rule tweak means he walks away with a one-sixth share of the Golden Boot in a career that therefore takes another ludicrous turn on its unprecedented path scooping up individual pots and pans while always, always, always narrowly missing out on the real prizes like World Cups or Champions Leagues or Carabaos.
But he was utterly rotten in Germany, clearly far more inhibited than was let on by the back injury that curtailed his Bayern Munich season he could barely move at times and was frequently withdrawn at previously unthinkable stages of matches potentially heading for penalties.
Absolutely should not have started the final, and the parallels with his performance in Tottenham’s 2019 Champions League no-show in Madrid are unavoidable – right down to the man who should have started in his place being the one who got them there in the first place with an improbable late winner against the Dutch.
We’ve had plenty of fun in the past with people pretending his goals don’t count, but in truth this month those goals really do struggle to mask the debilitating overall effect he had on England’s football.
Three goals are three goals, but such was Kane’s deadening overall impact that he’s arguably lucky to rank as high as this above those who barely figured or didn’t play at all. You can’t argue Lewis Dunk made England actively worse, and you certainly could make that argument around Kane. You don’t even necessarily have to believe in The Curse.
Assuming this was just an injury hangover and not the start of a decline that’s more terminal, we’re still minded to believe he’s got at least one more tournament in him as England’s leading man. But we will never, ever be convinced he was anywhere near fit enough to play anything like as much as he did in Germany. Not when Southgate had so pointedly elected to bring both Watkins and Toney as specialist cover while Cole Palmer is a false nine plenty good enough to fight for a starting spot in that Spain side that swept all before them.
18) Kieran Trippier
Gareth’s security blanket and utility man did what he generally does for England these days: deliver performances at left-back that are underwhelmingly adequate to the point of offensiveness. Not really Trippier’s fault, of course, but the difference when Shaw was on the pitch was so great that we can’t help wonder whether Southgate couldn’t have found room in his 26 somewhere for another left-footed defender given three outfield players didn’t get a single minute and Anthony Gordon barely more than that.
17) Anthony Gordon
Cannily emerges from the tournament with reputation enhanced having shrewdly been barely involved at all. Quite why the seemingly obvious appeal of his pace and directness was restricted to a couple of minutes at the end of England’s 90-minute snooze against Slovenia is a puzzle, especially when Trippier’s position on that side of the pitch with Bellingham/Foden nominally joining him so often left those watching crying out for a proper left-sided specialist to get a proper go.
16) Eberechi Eze
The wildcard attacking option in a squad shorn of other such talents, Eze was never quite able to truly impose himself on any of the three games where he was introduced. Harsh to be overly critical of a player who, though now 26, remains inexperienced at this level.
The peak form Eze hit when provided with absolute role clarity in the second half of Palace’s season under Oliver Glasner compared to his more confused and confusing England outings might not be the most damning example of Southgate’s failure to extract anything like the quality available from his attacking players, but it’s on the list.
15) Kyle Walker
Walker was very Walker in this tournament but the (largely justifiable) absolute faith he places in his recovery pace to get the job done against anyone on earth finally came undone in the final with both goals coming on his watch. There was an arrogance about the way he allowed Marc Cucurella an entire quarter of the football pitch to run into on the assumption he could still put out that fire.
That pace and the hugely impressive way it has barely dimmed across the latter years of his career now appears less Walker’s greatest attribute and more his only selling point. It has become a crutch. Like Southgate himself, this is a man who has done a huge amount to alter England’s fortunes but it’s probably time to call it a day now given the vast number of attractive alternatives.
14) Declan Rice
While so much attention fell on who should partner Rice in England’s midfield it largely slipped under the radar that he himself wasn’t actually playing that well after a brilliant first season for Arsenal. Very much moved on the radar with the error that led to Netherlands’ opening goal in the semi-final and was outmatched and overwhelmed in the final.
For all the pre-tournament concerns about England’s defence and in-tournament despair at England’s moribund attack, when they were finally defeated it was once again by the team that was able to conspicuously dominate them in midfield. For Croatia 2018, Italy 2021 and France 2022 read Spain 2024.
13) Trent Alexander-Arnold
Not really his fault, we would contend, that he sits this low on the list. The midfield experiment was a complete failure but that is not all or even mainly on Trent. Brought on to take a decisive penalty against Switzerland and did precisely that which by itself lifts him from somewhere near the bottom of this list to mid-table.
Arguably should have got more minutes when England were playing with wing-backs. Trippier makes more sense than Alexander-Arnold as an out-of-position left-back, but we’re not at all sure that remains true for out-of-position left wing-back.
12) Phil Foden
In a way we’d almost rather he hadn’t had that first half against Netherlands. It would make it easier to just accept that he’s some kind of Reverse Pickford and we’ll never see Man City Foden in an England shirt.
Instead, there was just enough to keep us all dreaming it might one day happen and to persevere with sinking more time and effort into it. Remains far too good a footballer to write off as an England player, but there’s an awful lot of evidence stacking up now and very little of it is positive. It’s not all about stats, but no goals and no assists was especially disappointing here coming into the tournament off the back of his best ever season in club football.
11) Ivan Toney
The iconic no-look penalty will never be forgotten and he was useful in general play when deployed off the bench. Essentially, the man did precisely the job he was taken to Germany to do and nobody can have any complaints with that.
10) Ezri Konsa
Stepped in for Guehi in the Switzerland game and did perfectly well. Really is quite mad looking back a month ago when we were all sh*tting ourselves about England’s defenders but cooing about the attack. We’re all idiots.
9) Jude Bellingham
Vaguely disappointing and frequently guilty of trying to do absolutely everything by himself. Very nearly good enough to do so, which either makes it much worse or slightly better. Can’t quite decide. Like England more generally, he certainly had his moments. Scored England’s first goal of the tournament and absurdly kept them alive when actual humiliation beckoned in the last 16 before teeing up Cole Palmer for the equaliser in the final.
One of a great many players at this tournament – and this is very much a wider UEFA/FIFA criticism than one aimed at any specific player or country – who just looked a little bit knackered by it all.
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8) Luke Shaw
Gareth Southgate’s great gamble on Shaw paid off, really. They did manage to muddle through with Kieran Trippier – no matter how unconvincingly or unedifyingly – until Shaw was fit, and when Shaw finally was fit to start in the final he was near faultless in perhaps most demanding role of the night.
Still seems mad that England didn’t take any proper specialist cover at all in a 26-man squad, even if the plan was clearly for Shaw to be far more involved far earlier in proceedings than proved to be the case.
7) Bukayo Saka
England were a moments team at Euro 2024 and Saka encapsulated that as well as anyone. His good moments were really f***ing good, with his equaliser against Switzerland in no way damned by being the least good and least dramatic of England’s three late game-saving/winning goals in the knockouts.
The penalty in the subsequent shootout was a Stuart Pearce-like moment of catharsis, while he generally spent much of the tournament looking at his best when England were at their most humdrum. Not sure if it’s praise or criticism, really, but at the times when England were being most pointedly and infuriatingly crap going forward, it was Saka who appeared most likely to do something about it.
6) Kobbie Mainoo
Belatedly identified as the best solution to England’s midfield problem and fully justified the eventual faith placed in him. He really might be a better footballer than Conor Gallagher, you know. His performances against Switzerland and Netherlands in particular make the Alexander-Arnold experiment look particularly mad, but he – like Declan Rice – was simply overwhelmed by Rodri, Fabian Ruiz and later Martin Zubimendi as Spain utterly dominated midfield in the final.
5) Cole Palmer
If at any point in the next decade there is an England major tournament where Cole Palmer doesn’t start a single game, we’re going to go ahead and assume it involves multiple tabloid front pages urging people to pray for the medically-unlikely rapid recovery of his broken metatarsal.
Assisted the memorable semi-final winner, scored the equaliser in the final that briefly threatened the smashiest grab of all time and should very obviously have been involved more than Southgate allowed, given what he contributed in the mere 30 minutes he was afforded on the pitch in those two games.
4) Ollie Watkins
Absolutely did the job he was brought to Germany to do, and then some. England’s ultimate failure won’t stop Watkins’ quite brilliant semi-final winner entering England lore any more than it has prevented David Platt or Paul Gascoigne doing so.
His pace and intelligent running allowed England to stretch previously comfortable defences in a way they simply couldn’t while a half-fit Kane lumbered forlornly around. Really should have started the final in hindsight. And also, if we’re honest, foresight.
3) John Stones
Came into the tournament on the back of precious little football with Manchester City in the second half of the season, but a quick glance around at who did well for England and who did not suggests that missing a good chunk of the second half of the season is actually ideal tournament preparation. Formed an excellent partnership with Guehi, with neither man afflicted by the dreadful weariness that appeared to so thoroughly inhibit higher profile team-mates.
2) Jordan Pickford
Cemented his ‘Not A Great Goalkeeper, But A Great England Goalkeeper’ legacy. There are many valid reasons why he remains at Everton, but slick his hair back and stick him in England’s goal at a major tournament and something really quite wonderful happens to Pickford. Revels in penalty shoot-outs, makes big boy saves on the regular and there is arguably no player in history who has raised their game in major tournaments for England the way Pickford has so consistently and for so long.
1) Marc Guehi
Brilliant. Pretty clearly England’s best player in Germany and that says a great deal about a great deal. Fair play to Guehi, of course, who stepped manfully into a starting role and helped turn a perceived pre-tournament weakness into England’s greatest strength. The credit he gets is fully deserved, but if England had been anything like what they were supposed to be there is simply no way Guehi could have been their main character.
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👉 One ‘terrified’ and ‘comical’ England player sums up the Southgate era
👉 England player ratings: Kane anonymous and still trophyless, Rice exposed, Pickford brilliant
