Man Utd handed ‘worrying’ transfer update as three-year-old plans ‘leaked’

Liverpool being in full blown banter crisis and Manchester United absolutely flying means a troubling lack of desperate nonsense around the place today.

But at least one organisation hasn’t got the memo about the end of the United banter era, which is good.

And there are evidently still more clicks to be mined from pretending the woke mob have killed Easter football, which is bad.

Amad world

A small glimpse behind the football #content curtain for you here.

There’s a rough general rule in English football journalism that the most fertile soil for click-farming arrives in times when either Liverpool or Man United are thriving but, crucially, the other is struggling.

The compare-and-contrast quality of that set-up for England’s two most talked-about clubs performs some kind of alchemy. None of us fully understand it, but we don’t need to: we merely accept and exploit it, whichever way round it currently happens to be.

Obviously for the longest time it was generally Liverpool struggling and United thriving. In more recent years, those tables have turned dramatically. For a good decade or so now, the most delicious fruits have been harvested from Liverpool going well and Man United stepping on the latest rake in their banter era.

But right now, of course, we find ourselves in what has become a rare moment of reversal back to the Fergie-era norms. It is United who are flying and Liverpool finding rakes to step on everywhere they look.

So it’s no surprise to see acres of column inches devoted to Liverpool this morning after last night’s 2-1 defeat to Wolves. Virgil Van Dijk saying this, Steven Gerrard pointing out that, demands for these players to be sold, and these other players to be signed, and that manager to be sacked – all par for the course, entirely understandable and to be expected.

But the last decade has seen some powerful muscle memory developed that is not easily forgotten, which is the only explanation we can find for the Daily Express momentarily forgetting that Man United are good now actually and bringing us this crisis-club tale.

Amad drops worrying 13-word Man Utd transfer statement after Michael Carrick decision

This sort of thing should really be about Mo Salah at this time. Or at the very least Cody Gakpo. Man United stories should be devoted to tickling Michael Carrick’s lovely balls or crediting Benjamin Sesko with the invention of double-glazing. Not worrying 13-word transfer statements.

Especially worrying 13-word transfer statements that are not – and this will shock you all to very core – in fact worrying 13-word transfer statements at all.

Let’s get stuck in.

Amad has taken to social media in what could be interpreted as a signal regarding his Manchester United future, following the weekend’s Premier League fixture against Crystal Palace.

Already rowing back quite a bit here, aren’t we? A worrying transfer statement is now ‘could be interpreted as a signal regarding his Manchester United future’ which is a lot more equivocal and is close to a guarantee that some absolute bumwater is about to be served.

But something is definitely going on. Amad had been starting all the games, you see. But against Palace, he was on the bench.

Amad has since shared an image of himself celebrating in a United kit on his Snapchat profile, accompanied by text which reads: “What is meant to grow does not stay in the same place forever.”

Absolute partridgeshrug.gif areas, these. Amad is not the first sportsperson to splash bland faux-motivational bollocks over his socials and he won’t be the last.

The message could suggest he is contemplating his future, although not necessarily in the short term. Alternatively, it might relate to personal growth and act as inspiration to reclaim his starting berth.

Or it might mean two-fifths of f*ck all? Could it also be that, do we think? We think it could be that.

Nevertheless, the timing of the post, which arrived immediately after his demotion to the bench, may spark concerns about his current mindset within the squad.

Rarely has more heavy lifting been carried out by so small and humble a word as ‘may’.

Easter smeg

We’ve still got a bee in our Easter bonnet about the upcoming 2027 fixture scandal, we’re afraid.

Yesterday’s Mediawatch dealt with this at length, but it’s already clear this is going to become another unstoppable myth on a ‘the wokes have killed Boxing Day football’ scale, so while it will achieve absolutely nothing we’re going to keep calling it out every time we see it.

It’s therapy as much as anything else at this stage. We’re sure you understand.

So to the Mirror we go today for their follow-up to yesterday’s Daily Mail panic.

Premier League ‘forced into controversial fixture changes’ for next season as plans leaked

The controversial fixtures changes for the Premier League here mean that instead of this season’s no Premier League games over the Easter weekend, there will instead next year be… no Premier League games over the Easter weekend.

And ‘plans leaked’ is a simply sensational way of saying ‘FIFA Men’s International Match Calendar 2023-2030 published three years ago by FIFA and made freely available on the internet, for anyone to read at any time’

Premier League clubs will not play over the Easter weekend next season after FIFA changed the dates of the March international break.

No, they didn’t. Easter has moved, not the international break.

As a result of the changes…

THERE ARE NO F*CKING CHANGES. We can already tell we’re going to be led away by men in white coats as we scream ‘BUT IT IS EASTER THAT HAS MOVED’ before the month is out.

The Daily Mail is reporting that the break covers Good Friday (March 26) and Easter Monday (March 29)

FIFA. Released. This. Information. Themselves. Three. Years. Ago.

Mail Plus plus

Rare for Mediawatch to thank the Daily Mail, but from the bottom of our tiny heart we thank them this morning for putting whatever frothing nonsense sits under this headline…

Abandoning English football’s proud Easter tradition is the latest slap in the face for ordinary fans from an elite obsessed by greed… a double dose of the EFL is far more entertaining than Nations League nonsense

…behind the Mail+ paywall where we don’t have to look at it, because we are beyond certain reading it would have led to us grinding our teeth to forlorn, powdery stumps. First month free, you say? Nah, you’re all right, lads.