Falling hard for Woltemade and Newcastle’s Big Nick Energy

Ian Watson
Newcastle striker Nick Woltemade with, inset, a fan with his shirt.
Nick Woltemade is making a positive impression beyond the North-East.

Football breeds cynicism these days and negativity is too often the basic instinct. Frankly, it’s not healthy. But every so often, amid the bullsh*t and bluffers, a character emerges for whom it is impossible not to root.

Newcastle United have unearthed one in Nick Woltemade. The Germany striker became their record recruit this summer, somewhat out of the blue, which is a good start. Surprise signings always trump the ones preceded by months of speculation and brinkmanship.

In the modern game, huge, mega-money signings don’t tend to prompt warmth from the outset, certainly when they are made by a team other than your own. More often, with the player’s stock at its highest, many people seek to bring it crashing down.

Woltemade felt different. From the point the German was unveiled, he was easier to invest in than your average £70million striker.

Initially, it was the underdog effect. Describing any record signing as such seems ludicrous, but Woltemade was on the back foot as soon as Stuttgart were done squeezing ‘idiots’ Newcastle for every last euro they could.

The 23-year-old ‘mistake’ was very obviously not first, second or maybe even third on Newcastle’s shopping list of strikers. And from a performance perspective, filling Alexander Isak’s boots was a daunting task for a young player still wet behind the ears.

With only 32 top-flight starts to his name and just 14 goals – all in a farmers’ league, obviously, not in Our League – Woltemade was a ballsy signing by Newcastle, prompted by necessity more than courage, we must say.

It was hardly a shot in the dark; Woltemade’s performances as a relative rookie were making big clubs take notice and he arrived at Toon with two full Germany caps to his name. But while Woltemade made everyone else’s watchlist, Newcastle moved decisively and expensively.

Again, part of the novelty is that Woltemade just doesn’t look like your average expensive star. What the expectation is there, we’re not entirely sure, but it almost certainly doesn’t resemble the offspring of an illicit liaison between Rudi Voller and Peter Crouch.

When he showed up in Leeds to watch his new team on the day he was announced, Woltemade might have chosen to make a statement through his attire. He did – just not how we have come to expect. The new recruit threw up peace signs from the Elland Road executive box while wearing a sober black suit, with a club tie and pin badge.

Big Nick was all business and we’re not sure if it says more about us or the game that his formal look made the impression that it did. As a young, newly-minted star, one who gave ‘fashion’ as his main off-the-pitch interest during his unveiling duties, it seemed like a conscious choice, a subliminal message to tell the Toon Army he meant business and is here to work for the team. Perhaps to highlight an immediate contrast between himself and the perception of the fella he was bought to replace. Yes, it is possible that we are overthinking it.

First impressions, though, don’t last long in a sport in which you are only ever as good as your last game. But in his first six weeks on Tyneside, Woltemade has already shown himself to be worthy of the worship afforded to him by the Toon Army.

Newcastle fans betrayed, as they see it, by one of their biggest heroes had to channel their adoration somewhere, if only to distract from the sight of their ex hanging off Arne Slot’s arm. And they fall hard at St James’.

Woltemade, though, seems like a safe bet. We base that on little more than hearsay, chatter from Eddie Howe and around the Newcastle camp that the new boy is sound as f***. There are no guarantees, of course, as the lads who spent the summer covering their Isak tattoos will testify. Maybe the German will break their hearts eventually, if one of the really big boys ever came calling. Bayern, perhaps through salty tears over their failure to sign Woltemade this time.

The steepness of the striker’s career arc coupled with his early performances for Newcastle suggest it won’t be long before envious eyes are being cast towards the north east. Harry Kane may have no immediate plans to leave Bavaria, but when he requires a successor, it is hard to immediately think of a forward better suited to the job.

Because, like Kane, Woltemade is more than a traditional No.9. It took Kane years to develop and finesse the instinct to drop deeper and play a leading role in the build-up, but it seems to come natural to Woltemade. Overall, the cynics looking for an obvious weakness to pin on Newcastle’s new no.27 (a number chosen in tribute to his mum – of course it is) are still searching. And they might be for a while yet.

Some man-mountain centre-forwards are not as strong in the air as their height suggests they ought to be. Not a problem for Big Nick. Good feet for a big man? You bet. Can he take a penalty? Only the best and most oddly satisfying one we’ve seen in bloody ages.

Right now, Newcastle are fortunate to have stumbled upon a striker who appears a natural-born finisher, because Woltemade is having to make the most of the opportunities that come his way. And without his goals, their only Premier League scorers this season are Bruno Guimaraes and Will Osula. Nothing yet from any of their wingers.

Howe’s immediate concern is adding some attacking potency to the defensive solidity they have already established. Some teething troubles were inevitable. Woltemade is different to Isak, who stayed high rather than dropping deep so Newcastle’s wingers and midfielders must recognise when they can penetrate the gaps the German opens up.

With the quality available to Howe, especially in midfield, it is hard to foresee Newcastle remaining impotent for long, especially with that pure Big Nick Energy up top.

F365 Says Nick Woltemade

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