Worst idea ever? Newcastle urged to ‘get in touch with Liverpool’ about Isak

“Hello, is that Liverpool? We’re just calling to say that we want to negotiate on the Alexander Isak fee…”

Hope springs eternal
Cards on the table, we were fooled by this Daily Mail headline promising insight behind a paywall:

How Newcastle CAN get Alexander Isak back – and the two key events setting it in motion, writes CRAIG HOPE

Not fooled enough to pay for a subscription of course, but fooled enough to stick the URL through one of those very handy websites that removes paywalls. We’re not giving money to those <redacted>.

We expected the Mail’s new Chief Football Reporter – after Sami Mokbel jumped ship to the BBC – to explain exactly how Newcastle can (sorry, CAN) get Alexander Isak back in the building. Because that’s what the headline promised.

But alas no, the man who brought us the insight – behind a paywall, obviously – that Newcastle’s players watched Happy Gilmore 2 on a plane this summer and laughed a lot, explains absolutely nothing of the sort.

This is as close as it gets:

But there was already a desperate need to persuade Isak to return to the squad before a ball had been kicked, which is why co-owner Jamie Reuben and director Jacobo Solis, of PIF, spoke to him yesterday afternoon in his living-room. The nature of two points left behind at Aston Villa, followed by another week without a new striker, means that the world-class one they already have must be told he is going nowhere.

So if we’re reading this correctly, Newcastle CAN get Alexander Isak back by a) talking to him and b) demonstrably needing a striker. Are those the ‘two key events setting it in motion’? We feel a little underwhelmed.

Let’s not pretend that the two key events actually likely to keep Isak at Newcastle are a) Liverpool realising that they need defenders more than strikers and b) the man himself realising that he probably needs to play some football, especially in a World Cup year.

And we won’t charge you to tell you that…

Liverpool, would you like our striker?
Staying in Newcastle, Luke Edwards of the Daily Telegraph is singing a rather different tune. Less than two weeks ago, he was adamant that actually, everything was pretty damned fine at the club.

He wrote:

It has been a testing, challenging summer for Newcastle United, but as the first game of the Premier League season towards us, they appear to have quietly rescued their transfer window.

He then detailed that ‘Newcastle have strengthened both their starting XI and their squad depth ahead of their return to the Champions League’, which is odd as Newcastle’s starting XI v Liverpool on Monday night was last year’s XI but with Anthony Elanga in place of Alexander Isak. We like Elanga, but is that really ‘strengthened’?

Now – two games and just one point later – Edwards concedes that ‘the lack of clarity is putting everything Newcastle are doing in a muddling, disorientating fog’.

The thrust of his argument is that Newcastle should come out and say that Isak is not for sale. The problem? It’s – pardon the pun – not black and white, is it? Because every single footballer IS for sale at an inflated price. Newcastle did not stop pursing Yoane Wissa because Brentford told them he was not for sale; they just figured that more money might work. It still might.

Every press conference, every media conversation, about Newcastle focuses on Isak’s future. So stop it once and for all. It is not fair on the team, the supporters, the manager or the players who gave everything to the cause and somehow lost against Liverpool.

What is the point in waiting until the window shuts on September 1?

Erm, because Liverpool might bid £150m on September 1. And because they have clearly reassured Isak that he could be for sale if Liverpool bid a certain amount.

If Newcastle, contrary to what they have insisted is the case, are still considering the possibility Isak could leave, then they should get in touch with Liverpool and tell them they are willing to negotiate on the fee. Get it over and done with.

This might just be the worst negotiating tactic we have ever heard. It would be pretty much unprecedented because it would be ludicrous.

“Hello, is that Liverpool? We’re just calling to say that we want to negotiate on the Isak fee…”

“Brilliant. We offer £115m.”

“Oh.”

We’re absolutely certain that Newcastle United have communicated to Isak that he can leave the club, but only for a certain price; there’s absolutely no point disenchanting him further by saying there are no circumstances in which he can leave the club. That would be incredibly counter-productive.

There is nothing to be gained in limping on and stumbling from one round of Isak questions to the next. With just days of the transfer window remaining, everyone deserves a definitive and final answer.

What if there is no definitive and final answer?

What weapon has the player got left to fire in his desperation to get out? The truth is none. If he remains at Newcastle on September 1 he will have to play, he will have to reintegrate. He will have no choice. If that is what is going to happen, why not admit it and get on with the task?

Because it’s not September 1 yet?

So decide and draw a line under it. Move on with Isak or without him and take the money. Make the call.

Take the money? What money? Liverpool have not made a bid that matches Newcastle’s valuation yet. They still might…but not if Newcastle give them a bell and say ‘hello, we would like to sell our striker…’.

Removal man
Sometimes you really don’t need quote marks, however much those quote marks bang on Google.

Gordon’s wild RED CARD tackle ‘removes Van Dijk’s sock’ to worsen striker crisis

Couple of things:

1) You cannot remove somebody’s sock with a tackle unless you also remove their boot.

2) Nobody has said or written ‘removes Van Dijk’s sock’ so stop using quotes.

3) You can literally see on the image (this time on The Sun) that Van Dijk’s sock has been – and we think this is the technical term – pushed down. Or, as The Sun themselves note in the article, ‘Gordon’s challenge was so bad that it dragged the defender’s sock down to his ankle’.

It’s a f***ing massive leap worthy of Anthony Gordon himself to ‘removes Van Dijk’s sock’.

READ: 16 Conclusions on Newcastle 2-3 Liverpool: Ngumoha, Osula, Ekitike, Konate and Isak