Cole Palmer has ‘brains of a suet pudding’ as Spurs relegation celebrated
Cole Palmer has just one decent season to his name and a record ‘bloated’ by penalties. He gets a proper kicking.
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Enjoying Spurs’ impending relegation
I would quite like them relegated.
I have been an avid football fan for 41 years now and I have seen one season Spurs were relevant.
They’ve had great players and been very funny. Relevant. No.
But whether it’s the London media or their fanbase it keeps coming up big club. BIG BIG club. Are you really?
Danny Blanchflower was 65 years ago this year. And I’d wager very few Spurs “fans” demanding leagues and trophies know who the f*** he is.
F*** em.
And I’m not confident they bounce back
And they’re no loss except guaranteed 6 points
Please redact my name. I know I have a stick and and am stirring. Also West Ham same goes for you. You peaked Bobby Moore and a whole generation of journalists who idolised him. Not a big club.
To start the argument…
Non contestable big clubs and it pains me who I start with:
Manchester United
Liverpool
Everton
Leeds
Newcastle
Arsenal
Aston Villa
Rude late arrivals
Chelsea
Man City (but they were always big just unsuccessful)
Honorable mentions
Wolves
Sunderland
Middlesborough
Small clubs who smashed it and there is a strong Brian Clough theme:
Derby County
Nottingham Forest
Ipswich
Blackburn
Leicester
Name redacted
READ: Morgan Gibbs-White relegates Tottenham Hotspur unless hungover, depleted Palace beat West Ham
That was rough on Spurs
Not a Spurs fan or sympathiser, and generally would enjoy seeing the team that beat us in the Europa League finals last year lose.
But that was heartbreaking and devastating, even for me as a viewer. Don’t know how they come back from this even if and when they beat Wolves next match.
Commiserations to Spurs fans. That was rough.
Aman
Spurs not relegated yet
Jason is right that the weekend was bad for Spurs but wrong to say Gibbs White relegated Tottenham.
There are 15 points to play for and we are currently one point from safety. We’re also playing the worst team in the pl next week and played markedly better yesterday.
Spurs will fight to the last minute of the last day and only when that whistle blows will we know if we are relegated or not. COYS!
Sam
On referees and PGMOL again
Another day, another controversy. Five days after sending Lisandro Martinez off for taking off Calvert-Lewin’s hair tie, resulting in a 3 match ban, Paul Teirney looked at Ouattara pulling Bassey’s hair and decided it wasn’t even a foul. Ok fair enough, on Monday Tierney also didn’t think much of the hair pulling incident at first glance, but lucky for Leeds fans VAR was there to intervene to give Martinez the card he deserved according to the letter of the law. So far so fair one might feel.
Except today, when Tierney didn’t pause for a second thought, VAR were not interested in re-refereeing the game and Tierney was not invited to look at the serious foul play, Ouattara did not get the card he deserved according to the letter of the law, from a referee who red carded Martinez for the same offence on Monday, meaning a week on Monday, when Manchester United face Brentford, Ouatarra will likely feature while Martinez will still be banned.
I’m not convinced that there is a conspiracy against Man Utd. I do think it’s more likely gross incompetence from match officials. But it is a problem when the conspiracy is so plausible. The inconsistency in decision making by PMGOL and its referees throughout this season and before is beyond a joke.
From the non-red card for Collins preventing a goal scoring opportunity for Mbuemo in Brentford vs Man Utd compared to the Maguire red card and penalty against Bournemouth, less than a minute after Truffert was allowed to pull down Amad in the area for no foul or penalty. Or disallowing a goal for Martinez against Burnley for a foul so soft it should be captured and turned into luxury toilet paper, but failing to rule out Okafor’s first goal after Calvert-Lewin smacked Yoro in the face with his forearm immediately before his clearance fell to Okafor. An VAR intervening to call back the game for “serious foul play” in relation to Martinez’ hair pulling antics but not pulling the game back for Walker stamping on a prostate Dorgu, which was also caught on camera.
It should not be a tribal thing where we are OK with inconsistency when it affects another team but get up in arms when your team is on the receiving end. I imagine Fulham fans must be wondering why they had to see the game out against 11 men. I know Spurs fans saw the foul by Calvert-Lewin on Yoro and wondered why Kolo Muani’s goal vs Arsenal was disallowed. And to top it off Maguire got an extra game ban for allegedly telling an official “they’re a f**king joke”, which he denies claiming he said “it’s a f**king joke”. The joke is that, without evidence beyond backing their own man, they decided that Maguire was guilty (even though they are demonstrably shit at doing their job and frankly in either case whether Maguire directed the statement at an official or in general, it’s a spot on assessment) and gave him an extra game ban rather than look at or address the inconsistency in their decision making.
To bring it back to hair pulling, it’s hard to believe that none of the match officials beyond Paul Tierney saw the Martinez incident this week, but you must believe it to be so if they all disregarded the clear foul and the precedent set on Monday this week.
It is a joke, it’s embarrassing. We’re constantly told the Premier League is the best league in the world and yet week after week decisions look arbitrary enough that there is fertile ground for conspiracies to thrive. Given the money involved both in terms of prize money, and the money that fans in the UK have to pay to see the Premier League, as well as the billions made betting on the sport even if we don’t actual care about the nobility of the ideal of competing on a level playing field, I think the least we can demand is that decisions are consistent and implemented fairly.
Daniel, Cambridge
Chelsea v Man Utd questions
1-who told Cole Palmer that’s a cool haircut- Stevie Wonder?
2-do Chelsea disapprove of home fans singing ?
3-do Chelsea not practice set pieces?
4-per #3: FYI-near post corners should be above 4′, didn’t you get the LinkedIn memo?
5-how the hell did Amorim not play Mainoo every week ?
6-whatever we received for Garnacho, whoever did that deal was a genius
7-is there a better teenage CB than Hayden in the league?
8-booing Mount , how classless are Chelsea’s fans?
9- if Delap is the answer, wtf is the question ?
10-is there a better player in the league than Bruno Fernandes?
11-did Garnacho beat his man once?
12-if Palmer wants to play CL next year, does he know the bus # from Wythenshawe to Stretford?
13-is there a better header of the ball offensively as well as defensively than Uncle Cas?
14-who’s that twat from Argentina?
Steve (ex-Flixton Red), Ontario (better Arsenal than cheating City)
READ: Rosenior sack certain as Garnacho excuses exposed by Manchester United again
Is Cole Palmer actually any good?
Obviously a worrying result for Chelsea, in a series of worrying results. I only saw the highlights but they seemed pretty unlucky to me. Hit the post or the bar, what, 3/4 times? Just wide of the upright a couple more times as well. One of those days where you could play 180 minutes and you’re not going to score.
Anyway. This one is a particular bugbear of mine. Cole Palmer apparently said before the game that if they don’t get into the Champions League everything changes. Translation – he’s going to do one if their form doesn’t improve.
So here’s a blue sky, out of the box thought. Why doesn’t he try living up to his reputation and play a s**t load better then? His reputation is based on *one* – count them , *one* – really good season. He never hit those heights before and he sure as hell hasn’t since.
His record is bloated by endless penalties and precious few goals or assists otherwise. But to hear him described, you’d think he was the Second Coming of Gascoigne sometimes. Tuchel clearly sees it the same way as I do, Palmer isn’t going to the World Cup. We need someone as good as his reputation, not the player he really is.
Someone will undoubtedly pay top bananas for him and he won’t live up to the price, not even close. Pep doesn’t let real quality leave until they’re too old to contribute. He didn’t let a top, top player leave here either.
Brains of a suet pudding, a stupid smug goal celebration and a horrendous f**k ugly hairstyle that needs immediate sorting. He’s cosmetically challenged enough as it is.
Personal abuse is never right of course, but I just can’t stand this m****f****r. So I’m making an exception in this case.
James, Liverpool
Mocking Everton history with zero class
Just after Everton scored the opening goal the commentator screamed, “ANOTHER PIECE OF EVERTON HISTORY”
Now I’m going to set aside the hilarity that it then got disallowed by VAR, but it’s equally comedy that scoring a goal against their big city rival counts as a piece of history. Liverpool win Champions Leagues and domestic trophies galore while Everton sometimes open the scoring at their own stadium. It’s sweet that even in our worst season the levels still are what they are.
First of all, to give credit where due, that Gakpo assist was so filthy it should’ve come with an age warning. It was so good that I was watching on TV and honestly thought he’d misplaced the pass for a second until suddenly my brain saw what his had at pitch level and actually executed to perfection. Fair f**ks pal. Easier to write this because of the W obviously.
Konate was all at sea (as usual) for their goal. I get that people switch off or have brain farts sometimes but why does he always do it on match day? He’s really not done anything to justify a new contract. Letting him go for free stinks but I think it would set the right tone, especially if we can make an agreement with someone like Senesi for the summer. It also annoys me that this switch off led to not only the goal but also the injury of our second keeper. Woodman did fine but does he have what it takes to see us through the last 5 games? Maybe a PNE can write in to advise…
The winning goal, coming as late as it did, from the guy that it did. Really doesn’t get sweeter at times does it? I’m sure VVD is still extremely annoyed about the season he lost to Pickford so it’s hard to have much sympathy watching that guy lie on the floor wondering why he’s always a loser. Might be those T-Rex arms mate.
Minty, LFC
How good are Sunderland?
Imagine there’ll be a sea of Arsenal-City-scouse Narrative tomorrow, but wanted to say a quick word about the Villa Park madness this afternoon.
Easy to be magnanimous in victory so this will have a touch of #sosogood about it,but Sunderland are a magnificent football team. Miles better than everyone we’ve played in Europe this season (and half the ones we played last year tbh), and most of the teams we’ve played in England.
This applies to a stack of teams in the prem tbh, but it’ll be a crime (probably literally) if they finish behind Chelsea this year.
Neil Raines Haway the Villa
Nickname corner
Adidasmufc…in response to your question about clever footballer nicknames that aren’t simply some appendage or abbreviated play on the actual name… Claude Makelele’s nickname at Chelsea was tripod.
There’s kids at home so I’m not willing to go any further.
Minty, LFC
…Jason McAteer was called ’Trigger’.
He allegedly shouted ”One hundred and eighty” as Jimmy White walked into a club, once.
Sixyardbox, Stockholm
…Adidas MUFC asked about nicknames not related to surnames that are actually used.
There are different types. There are the actual on-field nicknames, which are necessarily short and then there are the honorary moniker types, that commentators like but people would never actually use to the player’s face.
Of the former you have Pele, Zico, Cafu, Razor (was used an awful lot but sadly lifted from Donovan Ruddock).
Of the latter you have Der Kaiser, the Beast Nadal, the Baby Faced Assassin, the Holy Goalie.
And then you have the third type, which fans use, e.g. Slabhead, Psycho, Le God (well, related to the name, but it was quite good), ‘King’ Kenny.
I suppose there is the sad fourth type also, which is “the [insert adjective] [insert supposedly similar established player]”. For example, the Ginger Pele, the Egyptian Messi, the Latvian Michael Owen, the Croatian Cruyff, etc. Yawn.
It’s not the height of wit, but I am partial to the Slabhead nickname for Maguire mentioned above because of its near-universal adoption and cruel aptness.
Remy the Saint
