Manchester City exodus begins as ‘first star to quit’ after charges paves way for Haaland

The Manchester City exodus will begin after a ‘star’ became the ‘first player to quit’, paving the way for Erling Haaland and friends.

We even have some England too.

Holt! Who goes there?
Another day, another wait for Manchester City updates. Except what’s this from The Sun website..?

‘First Man City player poached after Prem’s guilty verdict’

Wow. Not sure how the defections have started in early October with the transfer window slammed entirely shut, but the concept of rules being broken is not exactly alien here.

So who is this brave soul, the first of a presumably great many to jump a ship sinking into oblivion?

‘MANCHESTER CITY have seen teenage sensation Charlie Holt quit for Cardiff – just days after the Premier League giants were found guilty of breaching financial rules.’

Oh for fu…

It is a shameless deployment of the proud tabloid staple of ‘just days after’. That should be reserved for players daring to leave their homes within a week of a chastening defeat, not whatever this is.

The idea that Manchester City ‘have been forced to deal with their first exit since the Premier League released the bombshell findings’ is enjoyable though. Ferran Soriano is filming his unblinking address to staff as we speak in a doomed attempt to play down the panic-inducing exit of a 17-year-old who doesn’t have a Wikipedia page, and who will be going straight into a relegation-battling Championship team’s U21s.

Holt ‘jumped at the chance to swap crisis-hit City’ and ‘the youngster is expected to be followed through the exit door by a host of City superstars’. He has definitely blazed the exodus trail for Erling Haaland and co.

I think I better leave right now
But of course, where one outlet leads…

‘First Man City player leaves club after charges verdict as transfer confirmed’ – Daily Mirror website.

‘First Man City star to quit club since charges confirmed as player speaks out’ – Daily Express website.

‘First Man City player leaves weeks after guilty verdict on 115 charges’ – talkSPORT.

That Express one is a proper piece of work; Holt is quite obviously no ‘Man City star’ and he ‘spoke out’ only about his playing opportunities at Cardiff rather than declaring a vote of no confidence in Sheikh Mansour.

My name is Erl
If that doesn’t force Haaland’s hand to leave, this might.

‘Erling Haaland brutally trolled after releasing mic’d up Man City training video,’ report never-knowingly-exaggerative Sun website.

Considering that among the remarkable five ‘brutal’ jibes aimed at Haaland on socials is the excellent, ‘What’s the purpose of training when you will be playing in the Championship next season,’ from someone who seems to believe the second tier is actually the Lancashire and Cheshire Amateur League Division B, it does feel like the multi-millionaire will be OK.

Mystery solved
‘Cryptic on-camera chats, transfer talks and no media – What Man City stars have been up to since guilty verdict’ – The Sun website.

It turns out the vast majority of them have been on international duty in the international break.

Hey, Jude
England did play on Tuesday evening, of course. And one player impressed Ian Ladyman of the Daily Mail:

‘Jude Bellingham was magnificent once again and is now having the kind of influence on team-mates that simply can’t be bought.’

Agreed. It would be nice to get an apology from Ladyman’s colleague, but we can’t have everything.

‘Bellingham is developing into a truly elite footballer. For England’s best player, there currently appears to be no horizon and, crucially for England, he is now dragging others along with him. It has been quite a turnaround for a player who was not selected for his country just 11 months ago.’

As Ladyman knows full well, Bellingham wasn’t selected because he had barely played since having shoulder surgery.

One man’s ‘quite a turnaround’ is another’s rehabilitation, recovery and resumption of being brilliant.

Turn it up
Over at the Daily Mirror website, we have this:

‘Harry Kane moment at Wembley speaks volumes as England captain marks historic night”

And as ever, precisely what this specific volume-speaking moment actually was is quite unclear, because it turns out that John Cross does not adjust his writing style to fit into one of the five or six headline templates Reach have.

Kane did not ‘break a silence’, share his ‘true feelings’ or show his ‘true colours’, nor was the game played behind-closed-doors and thus entirely in ‘secret’. So we are left with a presumably quite loud thing that apparently happened at Wembley.

Being generous, the headline writer might be latching onto the part about how Kane ‘got an even louder reception’ than Jude Bellingham, which doesn’t feel particularly a) surprising, or b) voluminous, especially on his record-equalling 125th cap.

Mediawatch instead prefers to believe that someone thinks Harry Edward Kane doing yet more goals in 2026 in any way represents the speaking of volumes.

Weirdest opening paragraph of the day
‘HARRY KANE marked his record-equalling night with a brilliant cross for ex-West Ham defender Vladimir Coufal to score with an equally impressive finish, albeit accidentally’ – Charlie Wyett, The Sun.

Wyett does quickly go on to write about the two actual goals Kane scored, but the obvious, definite, real takeaway was the one he set up and which could have been quite easily avoided.

Weirdest point of the day
‘Yet the nation’s record goalscorer, aged 33, will rewrite history – again – when he picks up cap No126 against Croatia at Wembley on November 12, a game which unusually for England, will be on a Thursday’ – Charlie Wyett, The Sun.

England have played both Wales and Serbia on a Thursday within the last year. But also…what?

Ref’s sake
‘Referee gives Lionel Messi bizarre gift after final Argentina match’ – Metro.

One might humbly suggest there is no less bizarre gift to receive from a referee than his cards.