Four reasons why Arsenal are ‘boring’ and Arteta uses ‘dirty tactics’ as ‘very curious shift’ identified

Arsenal are currently the way they are under ‘annoying’ Mikel Arteta for four ‘underlying reasons’, while their supporters have changed their tune.

Also, Newcastle United ought to be careful what they wish for and there are contrasting views on the ‘Emptyhad’ debate.

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Why Arsenal are the way they are…

Criticisms of modern Arsenal all fail to understand the underlying reasons the club has become the way it is. Let’s address the criticisms one at a time.

“They’re boring!”: They’re constantly up against parked buses blockading the opponent’s goal so they can’t really play fluid attacking football. It’s the defensive blockades that other teams employ that results in Arsenal games being a grind in the league, in the Champions League things are quite different since the opposition are not as conservative. Besides, for ages Arsenal were derided for failing to break low blocks. Now we’ve found solutions to them through set pieces but people whinge about it being dull as if we should be playing like Brazil ’70 against rigid defensive blockades.

“They’ve spent £1b pounds!”: Remember all the years of austerity after we moved to the new stadium? We couldn’t spend like Russian mobsters and repressive totalitarian petrostates as we had to tighten the belt. Everyone mocked us for being cheapskates then. The massive spending is the result of over a decade of austerity to pay off the stadium debt. Meanwhile City and Chelsea have been able to spending lavishly the entire time, resulting in the inflated transfer fees and wages which Arsenal now also have to pay. But go on, mock us for adapting to the market created by the vile oligarchs and dictatorships.

“They use dirty tactics!”: We’re no worse than any other team in terms of the usual diving, pushing and shoving and gamesmanship. Remember all those years that Arsenal were laughed at for being “soft” and not being able to handle rough rugby teams like Stoke? And now that we’ve stepped up our resilience and developed some steel you guys try to criticise us for that. Damned if we do, damned if we don’t. Just admit that you’re rattled because we’re no longer soft.

“Arteta is annoying and unlikeable!”: He’s no more annoying than any other high profile manager. We’ve had the likes of Klopp and Pep going ballistic on the touchline over decisions but because they don’t manage Arsenal they’re passed off as passionate. Meanwhile Arteta tries to inject more competitive energy into a team that was frequently found lacking in the past and he’s immediately perceived as some sort of deranged lunatic. He knows that Arsenal needs to be more steadfast and streetsmart in order to win titles, we failed to win major titles because we didn’t have these qualities. He’s got to have some edge and intensity to make sure the team is competitive, just like Pep, Klopp, Mourinho and Fergie.

Tl:dr Arsenal have adapted to the modern game after years of falling behind and many people are just incapable of processing this properly.
Vish (AFC), Melbourne

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Greetings from Stewie

Greetings. Andy in the mailbox asked:

“What is Stewie Griffin going to have to write in about when Arsenal, the Viking clogger, El Pulizon, and all the MAGA-lite actually close it out?”

It’s a simple one, this Andy. First off, I will congratulate their delirium. Much like the High school loudmouth boasting about losing his virginity at 47, despite being richer than any eligible bachelor out there…it’s quite the flex. As is Stewie’s sardonic nature, I would also have to ask Arsenal’s unhinged MAGA-Lite koolaid warriors, to revisit a few key topical matters.

When Mourinho’s Chelsea was successful, Arsenal fans derided that success, calling it “Financial doping” (he spent money on players, something Arsenal are apparently loath to do). They also in unison – and we all remember, receipts are there – called Mourinho a “chequebook manager”. Given Arteta has spent over £1bn to “build” his title-winning automatons, do the same rules apply? Or will it be MAGA Revisionism IT NEVER HAPPENED, HUNTER BIDEN LAPTOP etc etc…

Arsenal fans insisted that it was impossible to “financially compete” with richer clubs. You apparently couldn’t ever win a title when faced with much richer behemoths. I spent years asking how eg Klopp did it at Liverpool, and Dortmund before that, etc. So will they acknowledge it was intellectual dishonesty all along, flat out lies and dissembling to excuse failure? Ooooor will it be RADICAL FAKE NEWS MEDIA WITH AN AGENDA, TERRIBLE FOR THIS COUNTRY! Etc etc…

Final one this: given the borderline erotic eulogies Gooners dish out towards El Pulizon, I have to state the obvious here: for years, we were told that successful winning managers like Jose’s Chelsea, then Hiddink’s Chelsea etc were “soulless” and that Arsenal fans “would hate to win that way”. Hence, a mantra from the years of Wenger failure aka “the Arsenal way” was born. I think it had something to do with playing pretty football that helps you batter a set of clueless kids, but shit your undies and get beat 10-2, 8-2 etc. the minute you face a serious team.
It also gave way to a number of (virtual) trophies: the Calendar Year trophy, the “Unbeaten v Big Six” trophy, the “FFP” trophy, the “most points in the PL over three years” trophy and of course the biggest clout of all, the Top 4 Trophy – the one where you perpetually show off about qualifying for a competition you have zero chance of winning. Like a lifetime Celibate showing off about spending a night in a Travelodge with Rihanna – yeah mate, enjoy Trivial Pursuit.

But we’ve now suddenly, seen a very curious shift. Arsenal are diabolical to watch. Enduring a full 90 minutes of that dross is enough to make you want to migrate (if those racist plebs from Farage’s Reform lot are determined to enforce anti-immigration, making any foreigner sit through 90 minutes of Viking Clogger and Friends simulate entertainment is enough to make anyone self-deport).

Now though? Arsenal fans are all about WINNING! Apparently, playing aesthetic football is diametrically opposed to winning! You see, if one spends over £1bn then you automatically have to deploy Taliban Tactics. Not like Pep, Mancini, Ancelotti, Fergie, Klopp et al ever won PL titles playing enterprising football eh!

Now, “winning is all that counts”. The problem for them, is that both things can’t be true. You can’t spend years preaching frenetically about “oil money”, “financial doping”, “boring football” etc etc – and then suddenly – pretend you never cared for those things, when it suits!!! Why haven’t we heard about the PGMOL DEEP STATE in a while? I mean, the refs literally had to apologise for farcical decisions that have gone in Arsenal’s favour eg away to Everton. Not a word. Crickets. Same way elections are TOTALLY RIGGED when Trump loses, but the system works juuuust fine (when he wins).

If requiring £1bn, seven years and £15m a year to match what Claudio Ranieri managed in one year with a nothing spend, or what the now-derided Arne Slot managed in Year One (again, spent did all doing it)…then yes, I stand corrected!
Stewie Griffin (There’s still time for them to bottle this)

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Huge risk, iffy reward

This has been an odd season in that every team, except perhaps Arsenal, has had a rocky patch or patches – and even Arsenal had a little wobble – ending up in a barrage of ‘manager x’ out stories.

The reality is that a 3 game win streak will accelerate you up the table and the reverse is true.

The latest being Howe out. Newcastle have always been a likeable team (even when not a fan.) When they are hot, they are on fire. But when not on fire, they can be woeful. The problem is that it is hard (impossible?) to play a brand of high tempo football throughout the Premier league. More true today than even when Klopp tried it in his first full season and ran into a wall after the Dec/Jan fixture pile up.

Today, teams not in Europe still have sufficient funds, because of the Premier league payouts, to acquire decent enough players with more time to prepare and recover that only large squads with quality players can break through the winter period – or focus on fewer competitions. Either injury or overplaying key players, decimates teams. Only Arsenal and City right now have those squads. Chelsea’s is massive, but either still have a few holes or are raw. Villa, still a little short. Liverpool, still need to replace a few aging players and lack depth across all areas right now. United have a decent squad now and are benefitting from the extra time to prepare (along with round pegging.)

Point is, Newcastle’s squad still relies on relatively few players and, being in Europe, can’t sustain the high tempo game for a whole season. A game which on its day is brilliant to watch and devastating. But even then, once they tire in the 60th minute plus, become too open.

Point is, Howe does need to change his game plan and style. I am sure a lot of Newcastle fans would do their nut, if they played that slow, methodical, ball retention build up against low blocks that Arsenal/City/Liverpool have adopted – relying on the brilliance of one or two (expensive to buy) players to come to the rescue. In an effort to ease the workload across a long, tiring season.

It’s hard unless you are City, to get ‘bargain’ high quality players because of the lure of Guardiola and the promise of always being in the CL and in with a chance of trophies. Even well run clubs with big revenues (Liverpool) have to pay over the top, sell players and lose out to bigger fish. So Newcastle are in tough.

Newcastle found a few bargains in players like Guimaraes in the early days of the new regime, but that hasn’t been sustained. The disruption to their Sporting Directorship/change in top management, has been the greatest impediment to Howe.

Howe is generally likeable and until Rosenior joined Chelsea, the standard bearer for an English manager, managing one of the bigger English clubs. Not sure whether English managers feel that as pressure, because the red tops certainly don’t let them forget.

Regardless, the way this season is turning out, there aren’t enough top quality managers in the world available right now, if all the clubs are looking for replacements. Unless you are Chelsea, who constantly replace managers, it’s a risky game.
Paul McDevitt

READ: Who would even replace Howe at Newcastle and take on tiny ‘PSR elbow room’? Not Maresca or Emery

When football was United

It is almost impossible to imagine the tragedy of the Munich Air Disaster in today’s terms. Eight of your first team squad wiped out instantly with other squad players never to play again. Bear in mind this was a team who had won the League title two years in the row, were in the semi-final of the European Cup and with a youthful and talented squad, were considered to be on the verge of greatness. Trying to even casually superimpose these losses over your current squad should give you pause, if not chills.

Now enough has been written about the tragedy itself and for one or two generations on, it has probably faded from significance like the World Wars. What I’d like to do instead is highlight some lesser known facts around the tragedy.

Real Madrid, fast becoming a major rival on the European front, offered to loan Alfredo Di Stefano, arguably their best ever player, to MUFC for the remainder of the season (but the offer was rejected by the FA). They even suggested that MUFC be awarded the European Cup trophy that year. They subsequently arranged friendlies to raise funds for the victims. Liverpool offered players on loan. UEFA wanted Manchester City to replace MUFC in Europe, but the idea was rejected, most notably by City themselves. Other teams also transferred or loaned players. Alas it took a decade for the Cup to reach anywhere near their former glory.

It’s almost impossible to imagine modern day fans having any degree of similar understanding or compassion although I sincerely believe that even ones biggest rivals would step up again. But once upon a time, long long ago, we were all “United” as football fans.
Adidasmufc (Any MUFC fan who makes fun of another team’s tragedies should be utterly, utterly ashamed)

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Football pricing

The MCFC emptyhad was a great article and spot on regarding pricing.

EPL matchday costs are insane when compared to other countries and some other professional sports.

But there’s also the experience factor. I’m a lapsed MCFC season ticket holder here (quit in 2007, cheers Pearce).

I figured I’d renew once the kids were old enough not to need constant hawk-eye supervision.

The reality is that I am highly unlikely to ever renew. Pricing is one issue, but I wouldn’t readily choose to take them to the Etihad anyway. Two seasons back, me and 6-year-old for a lower-cat game (Bournemouth?) was £100+ on tickets alone. Add an hour’s travel each way in traffic, parking, and rip-off beer/food prices.

Instead we went to our local Northern Prem side: £15 entry, 10-min walk to the ground. Football’s obviously lower standard, but the lad was loved it. He met players and mascot pre/post-match, ran around with school mates in the stands. I enjoyed decent craft beer at £4/pint in the clubhouse and on the terraces, plus proper food.

Now, I can take both kids and it costs £17 for the 3 of us.

Super League rugby’s similar (£25 for us three, though food/beer stings more).

The kids would choose Rugby first, Northern Prem second, MCFC a distant third.

They follow City on TV, but proper fans on the future? Possible but unlikely. I’m OK with that. I’d rather they stick to local football and rugby than line the pockets of Sky, Prem clubs, and soft-diving prima donnas.
Branmasterflash

A point Ian Watson fails to address in his Emptyhad article, is that this is a club claiming some of the largest sponsorship deals in history, but it can’t fill its stadium. Doesn’t that just act as evidence for them artificially pumping money in?
Lewis, Busby Way

A response to Stockholm

In response to Stockholm, finding the statement by the Jewish Representative Council of Greater Manchester offensive suggesting Guardiola be “more careful with his language…” when 6 months early Jews were murdered by an Islamist in Manchester says everything about you.

Israel is not an ethno-state but let me give you some facts…There are roughly 100 Christian majority countries, 50 Muslim countries and 1 Jewish country the size of Wales. Jewish communities have mostly been wiped from all counties in the Middle East. And 80 years ago in Europe, 6 million Jews including 1.5 million children were murdered.

Why don’t you let the Jewish people decide if they feel let down by Israel as your comment shows you have no idea what it means to be Jewish in 2026.
Zak