Manchester United make hilarious transfer ‘decision’ over Alexander Isak after ‘transfer request’
Manchester United have chosen not to sign Alexander Isak and that is their call, but one player has dropped a ‘bombshell’ with their decision to ‘QUIT’.
United front
‘Manchester United have ruled out a move for Alexander Isak – despite the striker’s desire to leave Newcastle’ – David McDonnell, Daily Mirror.
Mediawatch has ruled out a move for Jessica Alba – despite her recent divorce.
Isak, back and crack
That really is an exceptional ‘exclusive’: that Manchester United – who famously have to sell to buy having haggled for about six weeks over a second £60m-plus signing of the summer – won’t actually be entering a race against Champions League clubs and title contenders to shatter their transfer record on a £150m centre-forward with the lure of precisely no European football.
It is a monumental boost for Liverpool, who must have been concerned. And it is the dictionary definition of a great scoop in the journalism world. Keep those sources close to your chest, fella.
The preposterous idea this is in any way Manchester United’s call, propagated by a headline which starts with ‘Man Utd make Alexander Isak decision’ is entirely undermined by the end of the third paragraph:
‘…but Newcastle’s £150million valuation has priced them out a move for him.’
You don’t sodding say? And even if money was no object at Redundancies and Cost-Cutting FC, persuading possibly the best striker in world football to turn down multiple suitors for the 15th-best team in England seems like a challenge they could do without.
But sure, Manchester United have made a ‘decision’ on Isak. Why stop there? It turns out they have made calls on Kylian Mbappe, Erling Haaland and Lamine Yamal too. And pretty much every other professional footballer not overperforming in the Premier League’s mid-table to bottom half while turning 26 this summer.
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Alexander the great
This absurd line extends to the Daily Mail, whose writers Kieran Gill and Chris Wheeler report entirely earnestly:
‘Chelsea and Manchester United have ruled out a move for unsettled Newcastle striker Alexander Isak, who has been left out of their pre-season tour of the Far East after saying he wants to explore a move away.’
You can maybe just about have Chelsea, who have engaged in enough transfer ridiculousness in recent years for it to be necessary to specifically rule them out of every transfer race, even one they have barely been mentioned in until now.
But in no world does it need to be revealed that Manchester United won’t be in the running, nor should anyone pretend it is their choice not to get involved.
Unlikely lads
And of bloody course Samuel Luckhurst of the Manchester Evening News has to wade in without fully committing to the bit:
‘Manchester United are unlikely to move for striker Alexander Isak despite his apparent desire to leave Newcastle.’
The big question: Is not quite ruling out a signing which has less than zero chance of happening just ‘another step in the right direction for the club’?
Grant my last request and just let me hold you
It shouldn’t really need pointing out twice in a week but this sort of headline from the London Evening Standard…
‘Liverpool get Alexander Isak boost as striker hands in Newcastle transfer request’
…is nonsense. Handing in a transfer request is slightly more official and formal than just letting it be known you want to explore your options. There’s paperwork and everything.
And just like Hugo Ekitike did not submit a transfer request ahead of his Liverpool move, Isak is yet to play a card which is not yet really worth using for now.
Shaw thing
There does seem to be a problem in identifying who calls the shots at Manchester United.
To keep it simple: it is not their decision not to sign Isak; and it is not Luke Shaw’s decision to ‘quit’.
Yet that is how The Sun phrases ‘serious interest from Saudi clubs’ in a player who ‘is ready to listen to offers’.
Shaw ‘fears his Red Devils career might be nearing an end’ and ‘knows he is liable to be making up the numbers once the Prem kicks off next month,’ yet Ruben Amorim ‘is in no hurry to dump him’.
Sounds like he’s pretty much off.
Reporting that ‘the injury-hit star could be gone by January’ when there is more than a month remaining of the summer transfer window doesn’t half dilute the suggestion that this is a situation of immediate concern.
And with two years left on his contract, it feels like Manchester United might have the biggest say as to whether Shaw actually does ‘quit’ or not.
Luke but don’t touch
‘Man Utd’s current longest-serving player in quit bombshell’ – Metro website.
Nope.
Traff out loud
Of course the MailOnline pretend Shaw being open to leaving is the biggest story in all of world football, sticking it top of their homepage with ‘QUIT’ in the headline.
Who really cares about Alexander Isak making Luke Edwards’ entire head fall off while he desperately tries to make sense of Newcastle’s hilarious summer (still waiting on that £125m triple swoop…), when a 30-year-old who played 12 times for Manchester United last season is considering his own options?
Not to exacerbate the Edwards pile-on, but his tweeting the Daily Telegraph exclusive that Newcastle ‘are also back in for James Trafford with a possible deal involving Martin Dubravka now being discussed,’ then deleting the tweet when Fabrizio Romano revealed that Trafford was off to Manchester City seven minutes later – and ‘Newcastle are also informed about Trafford’s decision’ – is phenomenal work.
At this stage Edwards just needs a transfer exclusive to go in off his arse. Get yourself some sources who leak things like Manchester United withdrawing from the Isak race, man.
