Liverpool spend £69m on worst finisher in Europe but Red spin is dizzying

Editor F365
Liverpool transfer targets Alexander Isak and Hugo Ekitike
Alexander Isak and Hugo Ekitike have been linked with moves to Liverpool.

It’s ‘scary’ how much Hugo Ekitike is like Alexander Isak, as long as you ignore the goals. And Liverpool are…

 

How Liverpool have signed the new Haaland
The Liverpool propaganda machine is strong. You might foolishly think that Liverpool missed out on their prime target Alexander Isak (though maybe not) and had to settle for Hugo Ekitike for a really quite expensive £69m (particularly for a player who has just scored 15 goals) but you would be so very wrong.

As Chris McKenna writes in the Mirror: ‘Ekitike scored 22 goals last season in all competitions but there’s belief within Liverpool that he can surpass those numbers significantly to become a deadly striker and one of the best in the world because of his other statistics.’

Well that’s excellent news because his actual goal statistics are not brilliant, but ‘data shows only Erling Haaland and Kylian Mbappe had better potential than Ekitike at 23 in recent years’, while MailOnline parrot the official line that ‘the Reds’ data tests showed that no one other than Erling Haaland and Kylian Mbappe scored higher in their data tests for No 9s’.

Oh well then…if that’s what the mysterious data says, we can all just ignore the fact that Ekitike actually scored almost seven goals less than his xG last season, which gave him the very worst record on that metric not only in the Bundesliga but across the top five leagues in Europe.

He actually enjoyed better chances for Eintracht Frankfurt last season than Isak was given in the Premier League for Newcastle United, but scored 15 Bundesliga goals compared to Isak’s 23-goal Premier League haul. Shush though because ‘Liverpool hope Hugo Ekitike can be the next Alexander Isak – or even better’, according to the Daily Telegraph.

We are told again that ‘Liverpool’s data analysis – which rates Ekitike as one of the very best young talents of the past few years – suggests the striker’s finishing numbers are more likely to improve than become worse’, and if we keep reading that, then it will magically become true, right?

The Athletic weigh in with ‘Ekitike’s goal tally was not vast last season, but Liverpool did not regard that as a reason to be deterred. He performed well in other metrics, and Liverpool expect his goal return to increase over time. Even allowing for the limited nature of historical tracking data, Liverpool’s analysts felt that, relative to other centre-forwards, only Erling Haaland and Mbappe have shown similar potential to Ekitike at a comparable age.’

Not sure data analysts should be ‘feeling’ anything but you absolutely get the gist: We are supposed to ignore the fact that Ekitike scored a slightly underwhelming 15 Bundesliga goals last season.

And the best way to ignore it? Just leave it out, of course.

Nothing between the players’ performance stats as long as we do not mention actual goals. Why include those in a striker statistics comparison. Irrelevant, right?

As for other related statistics like the fact that Ekitike takes more shots and gets a significantly lower percentage of those shots on target, forget that because ‘Liverpool’s data analysis – which rates Ekitike as one of the very best young talents of the past few years – suggests the striker’s finishing numbers are more likely to improve than become worse’.

Hard to think that they wouldn’t improve from the worst across Europe, to be fair.

Armed with their data, Sky Sports come at us with ‘Why Liverpool target is the ‘next’ Alexander Isak! The scary similarities between the two strikers’, which begins with the fact that they are both quite tall and really does not get any better.

The only thing ‘scary’ here is the power of the Red propaganda.

READ: Alexander Isak to Liverpool is unstoppable force; Newcastle are no immovable object

 

Your starter for 10
It looks like Arsenal are finally going to sign Viktor Gyokeres. Phew. And this despite a dream shirt number blow that presumably threatened to derail the whole bloody thing. No wonder it took so long.

Over to the Mirror for a key update…

Viktor Gyokeres denied dream Arsenal shirt number but second-choice still available

You might point out that the Arsenal No. 9 shirt has long been unavailable – adorning, as it does, the back of Gabriel Jesus – and this is hardly news, but who are we to question the work of a Senior Sports Reporter?

But what of this supposed second choice to the ‘dream’ number?

Interestingly, though, the No.10 shirt – likely his second-choice – is vacant. Emile Smith Rowe’s departure last summer gives the 27-year-old the chance to inherit a prestigious shirt number worn by Paul Merson, Dennis Bergkamp, Robin van Persie and Mesut Ozil.

First, no mention of Gus Caesar or Ian Selley?

Second, ‘likely his second-choice’ is a mighty big leap. Is Gyokeres so haunted by the last time he wore the No 10 shirt – for Sweden’s Under-21s in a 1-0 defeat to Iceland in 2020 in which he was shown a red card – that he is on a mission to cleanse himself of that shame by donning it again at Arsenal?

Or alternatively, have you just made a big old lazy assumption in an attempt to breathe life into a story that’s now pretty much dead on its arse.

Talking of which, also in the Mirror…

Arsenal transfer news: Three new targets emerge as Mikel Arteta breaks rule for Viktor Gyokeres

And what rule has be broken? Has he previously vowed never to sign a player sent off five years ago for his national Under-21 team while wearing a No. 10 shirt?

Alas no.

The fact they have decided on 27-year-old Gyokeres is interesting, because it goes against Arteta’s own philosophy in the transfer market. Usually, they avoid signing players who are over the age of 25, believing younger players have a higher ceiling and will retain their value better.

Pesky fact: Arsenal have signed four first-team players this season at the ages of 23, 26, 30 and 31. And last summer they brought in three permanent signings and only one was under the age of 25.

It’s beginning to sound awfully like this ‘rule’ is more like a ‘nice-to-have’.

 

HIJACK of all trades
Once a transfer is pretty much completed, interest dissipates. Unless you can claim that actually, it might all fall apart any minute (for reasons of dream shirt numbers, imaginary ‘rules’ or otherwise). Over to The Sun…

Arsenal transfer for Viktor Gyokeres ‘hijacked TWICE’ as Sporting listened to offers – but striker blocked deal himself

It takes literally one opening paragraph to expose this as total bollocks, which might well be a record…

ARSENAL’S move for Viktor Gyokeres was at risk of being hijacked twice during negotiations, according to reports.

‘At risk’ of a thing that absolutely did not happen, is it? Just quoting yourselves, is it?  Tick and indeed tick.

 

Cancel culture
Today in ‘how f***ing desperate are you for clicks?’, The Sun have made Barcelona’s cancelled friendly with Vissel Kobe their actual top football story on Thursday morning by, well…

Marcus Rashford’s possible Barcelona debut CANCELLED over ‘serious breach of contract’ as club release statement

We would love to say we were SURPRISED.

And back to the Mirror we go for their top football story at 10am on Thursday morning:

Alejandro Garnacho issues two-word message as Man Utd exit officially confirmed

Yes, they do mean Marcus Rashford’s Manchester United exit. But who gives a f*** because you/we have already clicked.

 

 

Mediawatch Alexander Isak

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