Tuchel will unforgivably not sing national anthem ‘despite insisting that he knows’ all 29 words to it

Editor F365 17 Jun 2026 11:55 AM

Thomas Tuchel is dreaming of winning the World Cup with England.

Will Thomas Tuchel – who is German – sing the national anthem at the World Cup? He has made a ‘vow’ and should probably be sacked for it.

It is, apologetically, a bumper Tuchel national anthem edition of Mediawatch.

We suffer through this so you must.

Soft Tuch

Few things cause a part of Mediawatch’s non-existent soul to die quite as quickly as Thomas Tuchel being asked about the national anthem.

It is a question he has flat-batted for well over a year during his reign as England manager, reiterating each time that he must “earn the right” to sing it while admirably resisting the temptation to tell the press pack to bore off and grow up.

But here we are, on the eve of England’s first game at the 2026 World Cup, and so the dead horse discourse must be flogged once again.

First, by Nick Parker, Scarlet Howes and Charlie Wyett of The Sun – because this is obviously a Watergate-esque three-person job – who write that ‘ENGLAND’S German coach Thomas Tuchel has vowed to sing the national anthem if the Three Lions reach the World Cup final’.

Is Tuchel really ‘ready to belt out God Save The King should the boys battle to the brink of glory on July 19’? Or did he actually just say “I think we are not there yet. At the very end maybe. I am still a bit shy. I don’t want to offend people and don’t want to have the focus on that now,” because he’s a grown adult and can’t be bothered indulging in such nonsense subjects for any longer than is absolutely necessary?

By the way, that is the entirety of his ‘national anthem vow’: that he will “maybe” sing it later in the tournament.

What the Daily Telegraph heard is this:

‘Thomas Tuchel: I will only sing national anthem if we reach final’

That is some remarkable reading between the lines, especially considering that at literally no point did Tuchel use the word “final”. And this is some exceptional hyphening from Matt Law, too:

‘Having initially said he must “earn” the right to sing the national anthem after being appointed England head coach, Tuchel – who is German – had left the door open to doing so at the World Cup.’

Tommy Tuchel – who is German -‘s barmy army.

Actually, this line from Law is even better:

‘But Tuchel will not sing God Save the King for the first time in Dallas on Wednesday, despite insisting that he knows the words and having met the Prince of Wales before the tournament.’

‘Despite insisting that he knows the words’ is brilliant; was this under intense interrogation?

Tuchel can speak at least four languages so can probably remember 29 words, a great many of which are just ‘God’ and ‘King’. Then again, maybe he’d get tripped up on ‘Queen’ just like everyone else, so he’s probably right not to sing it just yet. The backlash to that would be unbearable.

And how dare he not sing the national anthem, having met the Prince of Wales before the tournament?!

Meanwhile, over at the London Evening Standard:

‘Thomas Tuchel reveals England national anthem decision ahead of World Cup 2026 opener’

…and, on a similar note, the Daily Express website:

‘Thomas Tuchel issues new England verdict on singing God Save The King at World Cup’

Is it possible to ‘reveal’ a ‘decision’ you made and publicly explained well over a year ago? Can it be a ‘new England verdict on singing God Save The King’ when Tuchel said basically the exact same thing when asked last March?

It definitely isn’t possible not to fear the worst when realising GB News have covered this breaking story, with a headline of:

‘Thomas Tuchel will only sing England national anthem on one condition ahead of Croatia opener’

Again, he said nothing about signing it on the ‘one condition’ that England reach the final, but sure.

In that story we are told that Tuchel – who is German – has ‘so far resisted singing God Save The King publicly’. It’s a mystery as to how he has withstood the urge up to now.

And then along comes the Daily Express website again, asking:

‘Why isn’t Thomas Tuchel singing God Save The King at the World Cup?’

Same reason Mauricio Pochettino didn’t sing The Star-Spangled Banner probably. Tuchel – who is German – has better things to do. And so should you really.

The morning light is turning blue, the feeling is bizarre

An underrated confected outrage of the Tuchel era was when everyone lost their minds over him extending his contract beyond this World Cup.

Among a positively flabbergasted media was Wyett, who asked ‘what was the hurry?’, recounted the largely irrelevant story of the FA giving Fabio Capello a new deal – without a break clause, crucially – before the 2010 World Cup, and warned of a similar level of ‘disaster’ in the States this summer.

Four months later, he now writes that ‘THOMAS TUCHEL will be unable to quit England for a big club job if he wins the World Cup’, because England have a break clause in the contract but Tuchel doesn’t.

Feels like it might have been a sensible decision in the first place, no?

Love the Sun website headline, though: