The Premier League XI Man Utd will ruin after signing them for way too much next summer

Jason Soutar 30 Sep 2025 7:34 AM

Manchester United are a complete and utter shambles on and off the pitch.

Their transfer business over the years has been catastrophic at best, with countless players arriving as seemingly solid additions, only to immediately forget how to play football.

After another high-spending summer, Man Utd will inevitably throw more money away next year following yet another bottom-half Premier League finish.

In Ruben Amorim’s beloved 3-4-2-1, because he simply refuses to be sacked, here’s a team of Premier League players that Man Utd are destined to overpay for in the summer of 2026. Transfermarkt values the entire XI at £364m…

GK: Robin Roefs (Sunderland)

Most of us hadn’t heard of Roefs before he joined newly promoted Sunderland, but his impact has been significant. Statistically the best goalkeeper in the Premier League this season, the 22-year-old Dutchman is winning his new team points with his heroic goalkeeping, most recently keeping a clean sheet in a statement win at Nottingham Forest.

Man Utd will be wondering how their scouting team missed Roefs when scouting for a new goalkeeper. Mind you, they probably only started scouting for a goalkeeper in August, by which point the Sunderland man was long gone from NEC Nijmegen.

Unless Senne Lammens turns out to be fantastic, this one is absolutely nailed on.

CB: Maxence Lacroix (Crystal Palace)

Perfect for a back three, Lacroix has shone under Crystal Palace boss Oliver Glasner. Recovery pace is probably Lacroix’s best quality. He has made the most last-man tackles (5) in the Premier League since the start of last season.

The 25-year-old could be one of Glasner’s first signings at Old Trafford if he’s chosen as Amorim’s replacement. But we all know Amorim is going nowhere.

CB: Nikola Milenkovic (Nottingham Forest)

Another defender who suits a back three, but definitely not as one of the outside centre-backs, Milenkovic has been a rock at the back for Nottingham Forest, enjoying a terrific debut season at the City Ground under Nuno Espirito Santo.

We just know he’ll join Man Utd for big money and become a bigger scapegoat than Harry Maguire ever was.

CB: Jarrad Branthwaite (Everton)

Man Utd’s long-standing interest in Branthwaite makes him a guaranteed big-money signing. Everton are going to want a gargantuan fee for their star defender, who penned a new five-year contract in July.

And being Man Utd, they will eventually give in and pay the Toffees exactly what they want, ignoring his dodgy injury record in the process. ‘Jarrad Branthwaite to Man Utd, here we go! Deal agreed with Everton for £100m+ total package’ is already in Fabrizio Romano’s drafts. We know it. We just can’t prove it…yet.

RM: Daniel Munoz (Crystal Palace)

Munoz will be 30 next season, but he’s an absolutely outstanding right-wing-back, so Man Utd will overlook his age and bring him in from Palace for a fee that appears modest at first. It won’t be modest with the benefit of hindsight, because every career goes there to die.

CM: Carlos Baleba (Brighton)

Another player Man Utd are already targeting, they were told to cough up over £100m by Brighton in August, and refused, or simply didn’t have the funds.

Despite a slow start to the season amid suggestions his head has been turned by the Red Devils’ interest, he is going to be the next £100m Brighton sale, and he’s going to come nowhere near justifying that fee because This Is Manchester United We’re Talking About.

CM: Elliot Anderson (Nottingham Forest)

This signing makes so much sense, doesn’t it? Anderson leads the Premier League this season for attacking third tackles (7), touches (599), passes completed (450) and ball recoveries (46), while ranking high for fouls drawn (10), low for fouls committed (6) and tackles made (11). He can do it all, would clearly vastly improve the Man Utd team, and suits any system.

Welcome to Old Trafford, my friend. You’ll hate it here.

LM: El Hadji Malick Diouf (West Ham)

A new left-wing-back might not be at the top of Amorim’s priorities having signed Patrick Dorgu, but if he is unable to improve, never say never.

Diouf already looks much better than Dorgu, and having joined West Ham for £19m, he’s destined to move to Man Utd for double, maybe triple that.

AM: Antoine Semenyo (Bournemouth)

Signed more for his long throws than his ability to score all kinds of goals, Semenyo would improve most attacks in the Premier League and while Bryan Mbeumo is another recent signing, you can never have too much depth in attack. Just look at Arsenal signing Noni Madueke, for example.

We really like Semenyo, which will make it all the more upsetting when he becomes rubbish for Man Utd.

AM: Morgan Rogers (Aston Villa)

Morgan Gibbs-White is also a fantastic shout for this XI, but given Rogers’ dismal start to the season, he’s simply perfect. We can see him kicking up a fuss and asking to leave Villa, even though his form absolutely does not merit a move to a ‘bigger’ club. And Man Utd will be the suckers that pay £80m for him.

It’s written in the stars.

ST: Ollie Watkins (Aston Villa)

Man Utd realising they should’ve chose Watkins over Sesko and paying over the odds for the former to bench the latter is also written in the stars.

Watkins and Sesko both opened their accounts for the season this weekend, and it will be interesting to see if either, or both, push on and enjoy a fruitful campaign. Before sitting on the bench together next season as Mason Mount plays as a false 9.

F365 Features Carlos Baleba